2 years ago
Last edited at 6:30PM on 5/14/2011
I think I might just go really carefully here...to discern whether this is just a habit, or does your daughter have a fragile sense of self that still needs lots of support from Mom...
Since she is in her teens, maybe talk with her about the idea that you would really like to sleep alone more now, and what does she think of a some wonderful new stuffed animals (or something...new cuddly sheets or quilt?) for her bed...
Perhaps read wonderful teen stories and books together before bed, and make plans to get up early and cook a great breakfast together...discuss the idea of sharing your dreams each morning, perhaps.
As you make all these plans, if she has any special fears it should come out, and you can reassure her or discern what is needed to allay the fears. And each step she makes toward more independence, tell her how well she is doing, how beautifully she is growing up.
Since she is a teen and not a younger child the solution is simple. You tell her she needs to sleep in her own bed and you lock your door. Be straight up with her. Tell her you love her dearly, but need your own bed. That is all. Do not give in, not even one more night.
2 years ago
Last edited at 12:58PM on 5/14/2011
I notice that you list "autism" among your interests. Is it possible that your daughter is autistic? If so, any answers we give you are probably going to be of very limited help.
Mjp65aa is right, if she's a normal teen. Maybe there's still a nocturnal fear from her early childhood that bedevils her (some adults are like that too) and it could be as simple as providing a night light.
If she has special needs you may need to seek professional advice, or advice from a support group.
Hey:) I'm just turning 21 and my mother allowed me to sleep In bed with her up until 20:) my reason being is because I felt I could protect her and that nothing bad could happen to her or I if we were together.. One night I felt comfortable enough to sleep in my own bed and that morning my mom did not wake up I kinda feel like because I was not in bed with her she could not utilize me I'm afraid I'll feel useless for the rest of my life sometimes.. but at times I feel she only passed because she felt that because I did not sleep In bed with her that I no longer needed her and that it was ok to leave me.. When she grows up or whatever may happen between you too(may GOD bring only good things) you will remember those nights you spent together
My daughter is a pre teen and every morning when her dad goes to work she comes in the bed with me , I don't see anything wrong with it as long as she can understand when you tell her you need you're space as well. I see it as a mom and daughter bonding . As long as it isn't something she gets demanding about i personally don't see a problem with it. Just my opinion though.