Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit

How can he prove to me he still loves me ? Wants to be with me ? He says he wants to prove to me , but how ? After he cheated !

after he cheated all he dose is say sorry I will prove to u I want u I love u ! how can I prove it ? I told him he didn't til now and that he should have to figure it out ! lately I been feeling that I am doing all I can to show him that I love him to keep him to make him happy not to do it again ! yet now I'm thing it's not me that needs to pro e anything he needs to prove to keep me ! I just don't know what to tell him how . i have so many questions that I want to ask but don't cause I'm afraid he won't be truthful ! is there away to know he's trying ? my heart wants to believe him but I have douts ! thanks for everyone's advice ! :)

Report as

Unless you are willing to risk it happening again and can truly forgive him nothing is going to work in the long run. Even if you do that there is no guarantee he will change. Go with your gut on this one. It is going to take a long time for this to heal and without counseling for both of you to figure out how it happened in the first place any fix is likely to be temporary. You are already feeling like he needs to be the one trying to correct the situation and you are right. You can try and do everything under the sun to make it better but that might just reinforce in his mind that it was your fault. Speaking from experience you cannot do enough to change the situation. He has to own what he has done and change the way he is. If I knew years ago what I know now I would have left the situation then. Thirty years of trying to do everything better has only prolonged the fact that he needed to change himself. We all know we cannot change anybody but ourself. So unless you are willing to wait for him to get himself on the right track and only time will confirm this, then my advice is to worry about you and listen to your gut. It is rarely wrong. Good luck!

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

In my opinion, he wants to earn back your love and trust by doing things the right way just as they were before he cheated on you. If you still love him and are willing to give him a second chance, then you should forgive him so that you can make things right again.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Be yourself what you feel to him..

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

after he cheated on you give him a second chance, if he cheat on you again then move on another guy and see what he will do next

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

You are trying to fix something that you didn't cause. He is the one who betrayed your trust. He has to earn it back. It appears you are both approaching this problem in a way that sets both of you up for failure. It is not impossible to repair a relationship after cheating but it is hard to make the relationship into a loving trusting one again. Would you consider some outside counseling? He is the one who needs to learn to live a very transparent lifestyle. He needs to figure out why he would risk losing his relationship with you for sex. That isn't something you forced him to do.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
I realize I made a mistake in a sentence. It IS possible to repair a relationship after cheating. Sorry I didn't catch that sooner.

Report as
Add a comment...

really,you have nothing to prove to him,your great,he cheated,if he's done it once he made his decision.your young....,do you really see yourself always trying to please him in order to keep 'em,were you always trying to "make him happy?"....if nothings changed except the obvious than he's broken,move on and tell him"YOUR BEAT!".a relationship takes 2,what kind of relationship do you want?do you wanna be the 1 who always bends?and 1 more thing..is he making you change because he f'd up?,you did'nt do anything wrong...know it!! and another "1 more thing" if he does'nt say i love you everyday (if thats the relationship you want ) ithnk a lil' "me time"is in order ...take care.GREAT CARE and good luck

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
He's not making me change . But he is questioning everything I do like I'm doing wrong ! I asked him why is he doing that ?!? It's cause he got busted and he's scared that I'm going to fined someone to get revenge cause he did it to me ! Anyways thank u for ur advice :)
Report as
Look..it's real simple,cold but simple...it's seems cold because you gotta think about you ,if he wants to see it as "cold" fk em',he did'nt think of you,ya know? your attractive and you sound like a sincere person so think about how yu really feel,not what his words make you feel like,you'll be fine. Geat care sunshine :)
Report as
I'm sure he would be relieved if you had an affair. That would let him off the hook in his mind and give him a license to mistreat you forever. He could beat you over the head with that everyday too. Is this really the way you want to live? If you have children, do you want to raise them in this environment? With this man as an example? Get serious help or get free of this one.
Report as
Add a comment...

When someone betrays your trust, it is not up to you to make it right again. Sadly, a man who cheats on you once will cheat on you again.

It sounds to me like you have fallen into the trap that catches and holds so many women today. This trap tells you that if you just love him enough, if you just keep on keeping on with him, that he will some day start acting right and be "fixed". It's a story we tell ourselves endlessly, and it is a lie.

What is really happening is that the guy is an a**hole, and he will always be an a**hole. You staying with him and being a good woman to him is just enabling him to be an a**hole who now gets sex any time he wants it.

You deserve so much better for your life. Stop listening to the lie we tell ourselves and dump him. You can't fix him, but you can and should save yourself from the pain he will cause you.

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you. Tell him to get lost.

Oh, and this is 5th time in two days I've used this ...

"I bet ya wish ya had me back,
another chance to get it just like that,
the best you ever had,
I bet ya wish ya had me back"

- Halestorm

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
Hey, there. I was just thinking about you cuz I haven't "seen" you lately. Hope all is well with your beautiful family.
Report as
Well howdy do, stranger? I thought you got abducted by aliens or something! Where've ya been?
Report as
Add a comment...

Please don't be na?ve. No matter how much you love him you will never fully trust him again and it will torture you. Most likely he will cheat again because like others have said if he loved you he wouldn't have cheated in first place. Move on figure out your needs and wants and try again later.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Unfaithfulness is the ultimate betrayal, usually unforgivable for some.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Heres my advice. Dont text him, dont call him, act as if he was ever there. If he truly desperately wants you. He will try anything to contact you,meet up with you ect. Good luck(:

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Well the first thing he could do is not cheat again. But that could take a while to prove.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Laura. With all the good advice you have so far, I can only echo the sentiment. "Hit the road, Jack, and don'tcha come back!". Take the "l" out of lover!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer