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Advice to help my cousin?

My 23 yr old cousin was sadly raped a few months ago and then found out she is pregnant. She was first going to abort the baby but she couldnt do it. She decided to carry the baby to full term and give him/her up for adoption. But now she's almost six months pregnant and is growing attached. I can see she wishes the baby was conceived a different way because admitting that she loves the baby would be like saying its good she got raped. She asked my help, any advice?

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Perhaps it might be a good idea to consult with a rape councillor, or someone who can help her manage her feelings about what has happened to her. Trauma can do some strange things to a person. Hopefully, she can handle the situation and deal with having a child. All I can do is pray that it all works out.

Trauma or no trauma, it's understandable why she is becoming 'attached' .. carrying a child can do that to any caring woman. Of course she wishes this happened under different circumstances..that is understandable. But, the task at hand now ..is to deal with all the facts, and hopefully find the best outcome for everyone involved.

Best of luck!

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I am so sorry to hear what she's going through. It?s so important for women who are victims of rape they know that they?re not alone and that friends and family really do care about them -- your cousin is fortunate to have you in her life. I also applaud her decision to carry through with her pregnancy despite the challenges she faced. This is not coincidence you landed in this very place, but I wanted to share this article series so you can share it with her: http://bit.ly/I3RN5a. Also, the following article here: http://bit.ly/IvbGQT talks about how you can help her.

I work with an organization called Focus on the Family, and we offer free counseling over the phone. We invite her to call one of our licensed counselors. They can be reached by telephone at 1-855-771-HELP (4357). There?s no cost to her -- we just want to help in any way we can. I pray that God would bless her with His wisdom and direction as she plans her future.


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Thank you so much
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Hi Giver2. I'm so, so sorry that your cousin was raped. I agree with bikergirl40 that it would be helpful for your cousin to talk to a counselor to help her heal from the emotional wounds she's endured. She's made a courageous choice to give her baby life in the midst of her pain - her baby isn't to blame for what hapened. The attachment she's feeling is understandable. Her baby is part of her, and always will be - regardless of if she chooses to keep it or give him/her up for adoption. I'm glad you're there for her, but I think it would help too if she could talk to a counselor at a pregnancy resource center. Theres a great site called optionline.org that can help you find a center near you. Hugs to you. I'm praying for you, your cousin, and that precious little one!

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Tell her she would be wise to give the child up for adoption, otherwise every time she looks at the child after it is born, it will remind her painfully of the rape. But she may want to get counseling to help her decide what to do.
God bless & take care!

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