You need to grow up big time before you even think of entering another relationship. You used your ex-husband, plain and simple. I can't even imagine what was going through your mind to take it that far. Your behavior was abject, and that's putting it kindly. I hope you at least have the good grace to be ashamed of yourself and to have apologized sincerely to your ex.
Jenny, you can't make someone love you. Using others to try to make the one you truly love jealous is not the answer. Your actions have demonstrated selfishness. Let me ask you a tough question: do you love yourself? If you have no love for yourself then you have no love to give. Your best answer is therapy or a support group. Best of luck.
I find it so hard to believe that you would get married to make someone jealous. But you admit it and want advise on how to handle it. Golly girl. You sure got nerve. Maybe you need to grow up some. Oh don't get married anytime soon.