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My girlfriend said she was raped when she was in seventh grade by a guy who was a 10th grader. She is now 19 years old.

she has never told anyone until she told me a couple of days ago. She says it was her fault but I told her its never her fault. i really want to help her but im not sure how to. what can I do to help her heal?

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Your right. It's not her fault, it was his crime.
She needs to talk to someone and the guy needs to be charged and sent to prison before he rapes someone else.

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In my opinion, you should get her to talk to either a guidance counselor at school or her parents about it. It would help a lot if you are with her at the time so that she does not get scared to do so alone. Ensure that you convince her it is the right thing to do.

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Well this happened in 7th grade and she is 19 now were both in college now.
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at least she does not have a baby.

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??? No, just violated.
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um, she wouldn't get pregnant at 7 years old
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anyway
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It was seventh GRADE.
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oops im sorry i didnt read that right im so stupid
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it is ok
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Marie30

She needs to talk to a councilor. The councilor can help her get past it and find the right channels to get this guy brought to justice. You can also help by doing what you are doing and standing beside her. Support her and let her know that she is not at fault and that she is not alone.

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bentheredunthat

Adult counseling for sure. She needs to contact a rape crisis center. They will know exactly what to do to help her get thru this, finally. There s/b a place in your town or city. Your local police station has their number. And not her fault - she was only 13-14 - a little girl & easy prey. Also see if you can find out what happened to the guy who did this. He may have not changed. Your girlfriend can empower herself, and possibly feel better by helping other women who've been hurt by him, by letting authorities know what he did to her. Back-up, so to speak.

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Tell her to Please address this issue ASAP. It never goes away and the pain may be passed to her next generation. It becomes repressed and resurfaces later. The quicker she owns up to being affected, the better her future relationships will be.,even if they are fine now they may still collapse later. The best group is one with peers who had the same experience. She needs to read this. Send it anonymously if you fear she will refuse help.

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She should talk to a female police officer. It would be a good chance that she will open up more. Don't push her to talk but reassure her that you are there for her and won't leave her side. Trust she will do the right thing.

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What The Heck Are You Doing By Telling Everyone Here She Just Told You!!Thats So Wrong!

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How is that wrong? Im trying to help her through it. You dont know her identity or mine.
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You neglected to answer why this is wrong? Why is me being concerned and caring wrong? Have you been affected by a similar issue as well? If so then you must tell someone. You dont have to handle it all on your own.
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You still haven't answered my question.
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You said its wrong. Why is it wrong to try and help someone you care and love? She is hurting inside and she needs help. You cant ignore things like this it will only continue to haunt her if its not addressed.
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Only If She Wants Help Till Then Leave Her Alone!!!
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She's too scared to say anything. She may never say anything and it will always haunt her.
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Ok Bye!
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jpink2
@crev it's ok. You are right you are looking for advice to help your friend. This sight can be rough on people sometimes I've noticed.
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bentheredunthat
Agree - nobody knows who she is by this question. It's nice that he cares enough to get her help.
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jpink2

Yep cavsome has the right thinking. Best to get help and counseling before it affects her future. A counselor told me many victims tend to blame themselves, which of course is not true. If she carries this around for the rest of her life it can really affect her. Traumatic experiences are stored in the brain, she might think its forgotten and over But some life experience will trigger feelings she associated with that event, like shame, or loss of control etc... Your school counselor might be able to give you some contact numbers for help in this area and your friend can remain anonymous. A good for you for reaching out to help.

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