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Is it legally and morally wrong for a 19 year old man to date a 14 year old girl?

My friend is the pastors son at my church and youth group and he dated my friend Irene a year ago when she was 14, and now he was dating my friend Jordan and she is 14, me and my parents think its wrong for him to be interested in underage girls, but no one else at the church does so i have left my church because i am uncomfortable with him being provided a room full of 13 and 14 year old girls to prey on, hes a good kid other then this and i know that he was not sexually active with either one but still..no one at the church and the youth group sees a problem with him still being in the teen class when everyone knows hes interested in younger girls. And i know for a fact that i am not the only teen girl that thinks its weird gross and uncomfortable.What do you think i should do, i already talked to the leader of the youth group and they refused to kick him out.oh and i forgot to mention that the youth group leaders are his sister and his brother in law so i dont know what to do i want to go back but only if hes not in there

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I think it's creepy and wrong. I mean, it'd be okay if it was a 20 year old with a 25 year old, (the age difference) but an adult with somebody who can't even drive yet..? No...

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In my opinion, I don't see anything wrong for a 19 year old man to date a 14 year old girl so long as they have limitations. If they are dating, then they should do the right thing at the right time otherwise it will be bad.

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im also worried about him pressuring her because she really likes him and he smokes and shes a good kid
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I think its wrong

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Yes it is wrong because he is an adult and she is not so that is basically a felleny

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It's creepy and inappropriate but not illegal unless he has sexual contact.
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Are you freaking nuts. 19 is an adult and 14 is a kid. WTF. Time to move out of Kentucky.

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actually its jsut pennslyvania
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just*
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KY is cousins, not age.
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Yes and your absolutely right and there is No telling what else with who else is going on .

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It's not illegal to date a younger person- There are some couples who's age differs by 6 years! It is illegal to be a teacher dating a minor., though. He should be moved to another group, that has people, preferably men, that are his age. I also see it as dangerous for a girl to date a man much bigger and stronger than her, even if he is the pastor's son.
I also agree with Zaruna!

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Well thx! :U
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Yay!!! 3 people have rated it as helpful!!! Yipee!!!
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It isn't "illegal" to date with that age difference but clearly it would be illegal if they were sexually involved as the girls are underage and he is not. But it makes you uncomfortable and that speaks volumes to me about the appropriateness of it. What I don't understand is why parents of the girls are allowing them to date at that age??? I think groups of similarly aged kids doing things together...going to a movie or amusement park etc with adult supervision or monitoring is plenty of mixed group "dating" at 13 or 14. I'm guessing thus is complicated because it's church but I would stay away too if you are uncomfortable with this boy's presence.

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they kissed and maked out and her parents were okay with i because she lied to them and said he was 17.
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Parents must be dumb. You could tell the difference between 13 and 17 as soon as they open their mouth and start talking
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Defiantly Wrong That's A 5 Year Difference 5 Years of Maturity That 14 Year Old Might Not Have

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What does the bible say? It say nothing about it. God created our bodies to reproduce at puberty. There is nothing wrong by the word of God. However man has created laws as that conflict with Gods word. A type of pharisee. Man could not live by there laws this is why Jesus fulfilled there laws and now were on grace. We were raised and installed these laws about sex and age. Does that make the law right? Just because the law says so doesnt make the law right. Loretta Lynn married at 13 i think it was and today still married and she in her 70s i think. Just because you are told something all your life dont make it true. What does the word of GOD say

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but that doesnt make it legal
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Show me the law about it
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Your just making up a thought with no fact to support that. Because there is none.
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Just because God made us to be able to reproduce at puberty does not mean that we have to. God does not say anything about what age you have to marry. So that makes it people's individual choice. Now your just making up stuff to try to prove what you think.
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yes there is a law about it its called stagetory rape look it up
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It's not illegal if they just date, it BECOMES illegal if they have sex, as JessicaGolab said that is stagitory rape and it could land the guy in jail.
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The way stagitory rape works is that if one of them is at or above the age of consent (which varies between 16-18) and one of them is below the age of consent it is punishable by law.
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You know if you people would read everything before you open your mouths you wouldnt look so stupid. It said they were not sexually active. Just dating. Wow u kids r idiots lmao
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well i mean ya thats totally not right...its kinda illegal for an ADULT to be dating a CHILD. pretty much shes a kid i mean compared to him....i dont think thats right and thats knidof like rape....i guess.. idk but in my opinion thats wrong...

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Thank God opinions are worthless and have no merit in life for any of us. Facts are what we have to go by. They said they were dating. That doesnt mean there was sex involve. You made that part up
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Creepy........why hasn't he moved on to another class/group with his fellow church members that ARE HIS AGE??? Like a "young adult group". .??? I'm guessing that the church members see nothing wrong with it because he's the Preachers kid??? Hmmmm...I've known quite a few PK's that were FAAAR from being the "good kids" people thought they were just because of who their parents are.....just saying.......
Sometimes people see what they WANT to see instead of what's actually there.
Legal or illegal, if you feel creeped out by whats going on, trust your gut instinct girl! You sound like you've got good sense! We always have the choice to remove ourselves from an uncomfortable situation!

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i really liked this answer and the group goes from 13 to 19
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Ugh! That sucks! Small church, huh?
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yupp his grandpa built it his dads the pastor
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... Keep him on check

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If there really is no sex involved then i dont see the problem. Nothing morally or legally wrong with friendship. If there is no sex there is no real 'preying' going on is there? If hes a nice, decent guy then i think you need to relax and get a grip because you are becoming as unreasonably judgemental as your parents, which is very wrong. Read James 4:11-12
IF and when sex is involved then it becomes both illegal and immoral, not before.

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Yes it is legally wrong 19 is an adult and 14 is a child

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No its not wrong to date. Read it again
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The age difference is not a moral issue. Culturally, 14-year-olds are usually too immature to be dating at all, and 19-year-olds are usually too sexually interested to be dating someone younger. On occasion 14-year-olds can be more mature, and 19-year-olds sometimes are even less mature than other 19-year-olds; but to have it happen 2-3x in the same small youth group, one should be questioning intent.

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If I was her daddy before they went out me and that boy would have a talk involving a knife and his unspeckables . The law whatever? The parents!!

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I agree with you Wes....This is the second example of parents asleep at the wheel! I don't get it. What ever happened to waiting until your 16 to date?
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It may be creepy and inappropriate but not illegal unless he has sexual contact.

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I think its wrong, wrong, WRONG! This is not right. At 19 he is adult....14 years old is 8th grade! Hello what are these parents thinking????? Oh yeah there not.

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I want to applaud you for following your own intuition and speaking up until you are heard. Many grown women are afraid to take a stand and at your age you are showing courage and integrity. Yes it's creepy. Yes it's wrong.

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yes call the police

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very wrong :P

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Wrong, because not BOTH of them are consenting adults.

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Morally it depends on the persons point of view, which will always differ depending o your beliefs and morals.

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No, your right it very wrong and messed up.

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IMAmermaid

no, nothing wrong with that, i guess, it's like a 5 year difference so idk

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there is no perfect definition for right and wrong, you decide what is right or wrong . that thing which give you pleasure is right for you and if it doesn't than its wrong

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I personally think it is wrong. He should be interested in someone more around his age. If anything were to happen or she accused him of doing something he can go to jail. Plus I don't think it is right for someone that old to be dating someone that young. If it was someone like 30 and someone like 36 then that's ok. But it's because they are more mature and have most likely had experience in relationships. But no I don't think it's right, make sure you keep an eye on them both.

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Yes and yes.

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The question here is why is a nineteen year old male, dating fourteen year old girls. He is practically an adult, but the young girls have very little experience with life and dating.

This is clearly and morally wrong and he should be made to stop what he is doing. The truth is, no one really knows what he is doing with these girls behind every one's back and this is bad for the girls.

Your parents need to talk to the pastor and/or the church board of directors about this problem. If talking to the pastor and board members does not work, go to whoever oversees the church branches, until someone does something to stop this guy.
Good luck.

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Yes it is morally wrong as fourteen year old person is under age.

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