I'm sorry you're feeling that way. You could be depressed. You should really find a therapist you can talk to to sort through the root cause of your sadness and anger who can help you break free of it and feel better.
I go through it every winter like clockwork. I find it helpful to take Vitamin D and exercise. Wii Fit everyday really helps me, more so than antidepressants which cause me to gain weight and feel worse. Also, get a complete physical. If your thyroid is messed up it can make you miserable too. Good luck, it will pass
It has to do with your focus. Focus on gratitude in what you have now and are happy about and what you want for your future. Get into a gym and start being healthy and start reading more. You'll see great changes in your life then. Focus on being happy now.