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nrusso2: 1 year ago | Last edited at 2:26PM on 5/31/2012

Every thing that comes out of my husband's mouth is negative, his thoughts are negative, what should I do? He simply complains way too much.

My husband's negative attitude towards life in general is sucking the life out of me and he just simply takes the enjoyment out of everything. Should I stay with him? We are on our third marriage each, and we've only been married for 18 months. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!

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Answer 1

bikergirl40: 1 year ago | Last edited at 2:37PM on 5/31/2012

There was a saying we used to hear when I was a kid .. "If you haven't got anything nice to say .. say nothing at all." .. If I were you .. I would tell him .. point blank .. Shut Up, Buttercup! Either fix what's wrong .. or tolerate what you can't .. either way .. quitcherbellyachen, cause I don't wanna hear about it! Don't enable it .. If you are not part of the solution .. you are part of the problem.

If he has a 'control' problem .. then he needs to address that .. What ever is the problem .. fix it .. because that's not what you signed up for.

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nrusso2: 1 year ago

I like what you say bikergirl, and yes he does have a huge control problem. If I stand up to him, which is more and more, he gets pissed!!! He wants me to submit, but I refuse to. He complains about EVERYTHING, even things that are out of anyone's control.

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bikergirl40: 1 year ago

If he has a control problem .. of course he wants you to submit .. THAT's what feeds the condition. That's what makes him feel powerful and in control.

My point is .. DON'T give in. If he get's pissed and acts like a child .. so be it. You have to be the adult here .. you will have to assure him over and over that you will not tolerate being treated like that .. If he wants an emotional punching bag .. seek elsewhere. You married him to be his partner .. not his subordinate.

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nrusso2: 1 year ago

Thank you girl!

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Answer 2

sgbslp: 1 year ago via Android

It sounds like he has a depression problem. See if he will go for a check up with you present.

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nrusso2: 1 year ago

He is depressed and seeking counseling, but he doesn't want me to come.

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Answer 3

timjoe777: 1 year ago

Maybe talk to him about how you feel about his behavior. If not, try asking him what the problem is. If he doesn't want to explain, you can try to comfort your spouse.

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nrusso2: 1 year ago

Thanks tim, but I do tell him how I feel, but my husband is pretty selfish and self-absorbed. He simply doesn't care about anyone, and that includes me. All that he cares about is the Bible. But I find he's all too eager to talk the talk, but he can't walk the walk. He's a very angry man.

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nrusso2: 1 year ago

Oh, and comforting him, what a joke. He just wallows in self-pity and does not want to be touched at all. All I can really do is listen to him rant and rave about
everything. I do believe he has a depression problem. He just started seeing a counselor today.

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timjoe777: 1 year ago

That is great and I hope things get better for you two.

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Answer 4

esmeylalo: 1 year ago via iPhone

Sometimes when Someone has been ameried three times expects nothing out of life anymore. They just they if it fails once it will fail again. Maybe he is hurt on how life has been with him. He might need help.

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Answer 5

refreshme: 1 year ago

ask him point blank .....if you make him happy anymore. good luck !

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nrusso2: 1 year ago

As my husband says, nothing can make him happy except being in the Word of God and living in eternal peace. He doesn't believe anyone, including myself, makes him happy. He would love nothing more than to not exist in this world. I'm not talking about suicide, but to live with God forever.

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Answer 6

donna811: 11 months ago via iPhone

What brought you to marry him in the first place? I mean after two failed marriages I would think your antenna would be up before committing to a third .

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nrusso2: 11 months ago

Sure, my antenna was up...but after dating and even being married for a short time, my husband has changed threefold. He's not the same person that he used to be. He NEVER complained like he does now or I certainly would not have married him. Trust me when I say that it can weigh a person down. He's so opinionated and judgemental towards everyone including me. And this is coming from a man who SAYS he understands the Bible and is trying to live the way that God would want us to. He certainly is different. Again, he's not the same man.

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donna811: 11 months ago via iPhone

Yea certainly that could weigh you down. Is he under financial , health or some other stress that wasn't an issue before? Maybe tell him how unhappy you are and if he doesn't change you will have to leave. Are you still in love with him?

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