A dr. developed a machine that allowed a father to feel the pain of labor while his wife delivered a baby. Both the mother and father were hooked up, and the dr. turned it up to 10%, there was no reaction at all from the father, the dr. continued to push the pain up, still with no reaction. Everyone was amazed. The happy parents returned home, and and mail man was dead on their front porch.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?” As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he’s on her level, and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?” She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, “I don’t fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
I told this one before on ask anyway..I was walking by a mental institution the other day when I heard a whole bunch of people behind a fence shouting 45, 45, 45. So being my nosey self I found a hole in the fence when somebody poked me right in the eye! Then I heard the people shouting 46, 46,46
A man goes to the barber with his daughter. He buys her a lollipop at the candy store. They walk into the barber shop and the barber is cutting her dads hair. he says " Sweetie, your going to get hair on your lollipop.". She smiles and said " I know I'm going to grow boobs too!". Get It?