I believe that one day you will get a girlfriend who will love you as you are. However, you will have to first work out on your communication and self-esteem issues. You will also have to stop feeling awkward since you cannot approach girls with such an attitude.
Focus on thinking positively about yourself. Just look around and you'll find those that by many people's so called standards are "awkward" and they have intimate friends and are quite happy and successful in life. I think you're a little impatient like we all are at times.