I think it's alright for the guy to order if you know each other, and he knows your tastes. For a first date it is a chivalrous move, but may crash and burn if he orders things just to see how adventurous you are... unless you're happy eating anything. Then you'll both be happy and he'll be impressed. Don't pretend you like something if you don't, though. He'll always order it for you. I think if the guy orders all the food, he clearly will be paying for it all, and he may be thinking about his budget in doing so. It's hard to know what people's intentions are sometimes, but speak up if nothing he said sounds good to you. A guy you are just getting to know will be happy to know that you're going to tell him what you really think (kindly) - don't just be frustrated silently and not give him a chance to make you happy. Guys like to fix things, and thrive when their girl is really pleased with them. The good ones, at least.
2 years ago
Last edited at 9:01AM on 7/27/2011
I, as a guy, always ask what the lady would like, then I ask if she would mind if I ordered for her, she will say that's fine, and when the server comes I will say, the lady will have, and then I will order for myself...
It's really whatever you feel comfortable doing... Some guys like to order for the lady, but they need to ask you what you would like; if the guy doesnt ask... In my opinion is that he isn't as interested as you as a person or he is just trying to be "the man" but to me it's a turn off. Ultimately, it's up to you! Hope that helps :)
Be careful. It's great if you found a guy with manners... Opening doors, pulling out your chair.. Awesome. BUT ordering your food for you could show signs of a controlling behavior. If you see no other signs.. He could be just polite.. Or it could be just the tip of the iceberg. Look into his upbringing. More importantly the relationship his parents have with each other. This will tell you more than I can.
when i am out with a girl i simply let her order first as a curtsy. if she would like me to order for her than that's fine too. But i know i would never just pick what she is going to eat, that's just creepy.
It really doesn't matter who orders the meal. That is simply a matter of personal comfort. However, I have noticed, no matter which (guy or gal) does it they are the one the server targets when its time for the check to be paid. Just a little food for thought.
Ladies should order for themselves, unless they give a clear signal to the man that they would prefer him to order for them.....such as a very formal restaurant, or a foreign language place that the other party is not familiar with. Ladies should also order first, as a courtesy.
I would order for myself. Why would I let a man order for me? Adults order their own food. Some of the old "rules" are just ridiculous. I'm sorry, but it truly is a stupid question. Picture this: You're a woman and you are on a date and your shoelace has come untied. Should you tie your own shoelace, or should you let your escort tie them for you? After all, you're showing him feminine submission out of a sense of trust, which leads to romantic feelings, right? Ick. It is my feeling that people can go out on a romantic date without becoming juvenile.
if the guy asks the lady what she wants and then orders for her then that is right. if he just orders for you and doesnt ask you what you want then that's not right. if the lady orders for herself and if the guy orders for himself then that's right. i honestly think its kinda weird if the lady orders for the guy. this is kinda what everyone is saying but oh well.
2 years ago
Last edited at 4:06PM on 8/8/2011
I wouldn't stand on formality regarding what is an essentially intimate evening. Depending on what a date's comfortable with, sometimes I've ordered for both of us; others, my date ordered for herself. It might be plebian to say this, but stone-cold rituals are kinda silly...
well depends the type of lady you are. If your a gold digger, and you need a man to do everything for you..then let him know he must order for you ,pay for you, kiss your toes. IF your the type of woman who likes things equal, and real.. its nice to share ideas of what you guys want to eat..then you do the whole "mmmh sounds good" ..and you order each of your cravings. then offer to pay for dinner, if hes a good guy..he would usually say "no ill pay"..then you pay for the movies or something. Thats an awesome date. But hey ..a lot of guys are diferent too.Some guys usually like to order for a woman..but to me thats a sign of a macho. not good. Dont go with the flow.. know what you want..and control it.
good god , i find it hard to realize folks still care about such dis-empowering questions-- grown people can best order foe themselves, unless they prefer to live as less than an independent & self-regulated being.
Why would I need a guy to order for me? I'm not 2 years old! This is not the 50's! I would not be comfortable having a guy order for me, unless the menu was in a language I didn't understand! It doesn't matter what socioeconomic group I'm in, it's just creepy to think that I couldn't order for myself!
As a woman, I see what each of you are saying. But I have to agree with motivatedgal because I am an independent person and perfectly capable of ordering my own food. I would find it offensive if a guy just assumes that I want him to order for me. I am afterall an adult and very capable.
i hope you discuss what you each want and he can order your selection, or you order first then he can order, OR maybe hes a jerk and thinks he knows what you want so he takes it upon himself to order everything, in which case i would be turned off, but some women like that.
I always let her order first because I'm lazy and usually still undecided because the date has been yapping while I was trying to read. it really doesn't matter who orders first or for whom. you're going to die some day and that will be yet another stupid detail of your life you wasted too much time on ... whoops so am I. bye!
These days things have changed depending on a type of date the Host usually pays. Women are now more educated and don't be surprised that not only she will pay but she will also taste the first sip of wine to she if it is right... Remember the person that asked for the lunch or diner date is usually the one that control's the bill and leaves the tip. The tradition was a man. and a lot of women love a man with tradition so use your senses and apply them to the right person on the date.
we are both adults -- we are able to select for ourselves - unless one of you are unfamiliar with the language, the more knowledgable can order after questions and discussion have preceded ordering. part of the fun of dating, no?