Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit

Is lack of s ex bad for a marriage?

If the girl has never been very sexual because of things from her past(mollestation)... & the woman wont say no if he tried more often, but isnt ever the initiator... Do you think it could cause marital problems? Mostly looking for a mans point of view...

Report as

I'm not a guy but I can say most of them do like her to be the initiator once in a while, if he didn't ever initiate it with you you would start to think what is wrong with me does he not love me is he seeing someone else both people in a relationship need to feel they are wanted and desired give the guy a break every now and then and yes I do know that lack of can cause problems in the marriage and yes I have heard this from more than one guy I have friends and we talk

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (7)
Report as
Well its not like I never initiate it... Its just that I think most newly weds (in my experience) are sexually active as much as possible... & im not, its just something I could really live with or without because of the abuse when I was a kid.... & I would try more, but if he thinks its just for him it "turns him off"
Report as
& its also hard because I have initiated a couple times that he "loses it"(hes diabetic & has erectile dysfunction because of neuropathy sometimes) & I feel like its me.... & its just hard to try & make myself want to more..
Report as
I posted a comment b4 that last one.. Hopefully its just being filtered & will show up.. Lol
Report as
if he knows and understands what has happened to you then he will most likely be more in tune with you needs and wants if that makes sense, and also it not you he has a condition I have friends who have a similar situation and sometime they have to go with the moment he most often has to take a pill to help things along so they are on a different level than most people. there are other ways for each of you to show affection and pleasure each other, at the end of the day communication is going to be your best ally
Report as
Yeah.. We talk. :) but I just worry that he will get sock of it & not tell me.
Report as
Reading everything everyone has written here so far has prompted me to say this in as serious a way as I can that may even be extremely depressing for some: IN MARRIAGE AS IN LIFE NOTHING IS GUARANTEED. I suppose people often wonder why I'm single at my age and have never been married. It is because I know that MOST MARRIAGES WILL END AS SOON AS THE PASSION FADES. Even those marriages that "last" many of those will be sad, pathetic, affairs for many couples. Now some reading this will probably say: "Not true! Look at us, we've been happily married for 45 years! Blah, blah, blah" IF that is true GOOD FOR THEM! But I have seen with my own eyes that for many it is NOT true due to that demon called "Expectations" and other reasons. (Also some of the people spouting off that rhetoric may have actually been married before, but for some reason are NOT in a hurry to tell you that, due to our penchant for dishonesty and our other penchant for not asking the right questions or asking any at all.) I hope I haven't depressed you too much. Good luck.
Report as
Lol. We ARE happy. :) & passionate in other ways. & its not like we never have sex... But I just know most couples do a lot more the first yrs of marriages. o_O
Report as
Add a comment...

Not if you're both like 205 years old or something.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (6)
Report as
This answer doesnt make sense.....
Report as
The answer is supposed to be funny. I think it makes perfect sense! Think about it: YOU ARE 205 YEARS OLD. YOUR ARE EITHER DEAD OR SOON WILL BE!
Report as
Ya but im asking seriously... So jokes arent helpful. :(
Report as
Well this is certainly not the first time I answered a question with humor. I'm sorry if my humor wasn't appreciated. (I suspect it isn't appreciated more than I would care to know, but that won't stop me from continuing to amuse myself and others in the future.) To answer your question seriously yes lack of sex could be bad for a marriage or cause marital problems. I am a man. As I currently write, I'm young enough without the aid of Viagra to be "in the mood" on a pretty regular basis. However I am old enough to know that sex is NOT the end-all and be-all of human existence. It MIGHT be 75% of it, but as high as that percentage MAY be, it not "everything". I guess what I am trying to say is how much value are YOU going to place on your lack of sex?
Report as
If my wife or girlfriend wasn't giving me any or showed as much enthusiasm for the act as going to wait in line at the local DMV, I would try to do my damdest to find out what the problem is. And perhaps ADOPT one or more of the potential solutions. EVERYONE with a conscience or an IQ above say 5, should realize however that there are NO guarantees at "bliss". (Marital or otherwise)
Report as
I dont mind humor. Lol... Hubby says its okay with him. I was mollested as a child & its difficult for me to get "excited" ... & hes diabetic & it causes erectile dysfunction so the couple times I try to initiate he cant get into it so I feel insecure. ;( im just afraid he's going to decide its a big deal.
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer
Popular Searches