Children get the care and love from both parents that they need but children or stepchildren your spouse should come first. Your children are beloved but passing through your life. Your spouse is with you forever.
I can't ever say my children or my husband comes first .. I love them all .. with every ounce of my being. My family knows better than to corner me into saying one is more important than the other .. there IS no answer to that.
If we have a problem .. we don't pick sides ... we work it out ... AS a family. My family is a unit .. that's just the way it is in my household .. We are only as strong as our weakest link.
This will require diplomacy. Tell him he is the most important man in your life, and always will be. But until the kids are grown and on their own, they will always be able to play the emergency card. As long as its an emergency it requires BOTH partner's help. But if it's a non-emergency, you gotta triage because promoting kids over hubby is a great way to lose hubby, whereas promoting hubby over kids won't lose much of anything-- unless it's an emergency.
Children first, with your husband understanding that being a mother is something you can't help doing. Assure him he is your love and you need his help with your children. I did this when I got married and my child was 4 years old. My husband was jealous in a way because I had to divide my time. He also saw that my only purpose in life at that time was the safety and care of those children. He could take care of his own safety. When we got this straight, he started doing things with the children alone like taking them sledding in the snow, movies, go carts-things HE was good at providing for them that I COULDN'T do as well. Then he began to realize it takes two because we each had or own gifts to offer the children. It took about a year. It's been 30 hears and be looks back on those days and admits he was jealous of the time I had to give my children. He now also sees how childish he was-but he wasnt experienced at this new way of life and had nothing else to go by. They all became best friends and still are. Sorry so long.
My wife feels the same way. But my aunt told use this a long time ago, when we were children. You and your husband will be together for life, your children will eventually leave. BUT, it isn't God?????then husband?????then children. It's Godhusbandchildren. But it ultimately is dee turnings by the context. There may be times you put here husband before your children, and there be times when you put your children before your husband. I just believe the spouse should go before children more often. Hope this helped. God bless
1st off,your children ALWAYS COME 1ST,who are you without them?2nd,it seems your husband is an azz and you can do so much better with a man who,accepts yours children as 1st in your life and,dont,degrade,disrespect and,verbally abuse you with bad names,is this hat you want for the rest of your life and,how you want your children 2 see you unhappy,we pass on 2 our kids,not fair 2 you or them,leave that prick