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Why does it seem like men are scared of an independent girl?

I am very independent and I really work for everything I have. When men learn that I don't like to be supported by a man they get all weird. Why?

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Actually I personally like strong, independent women, my fianc? is that type. I enjoy the challenge and effort of pleasing her, and being relevant and meaningful to her life.
However I often find when some women say they are independent, what they actually mean is they are emotionally distant or unavailable. That's a very different thing.
I don't know you, I have no idea what you are like in a relationship, so I'm not judging you, but maybe exploring what you mean by "independent" might give you better insight into why you feel men are "scared" of you.
Would you be willing to elaborate on what being an independent women means to you specifically?

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I mean independent financially mostly, I would never ever let a man support me financially. It comes from what i have seen growing up, men can just leave when they get bored and leave you high and dry with no way of supporting yourself. I would never put myself in that situation.
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wow. we have definitely seen two different things. most women ive seen have left a man when she was high and dry and he had no money left. but hey thats just the point. it all depends on how you were raised and where you were born, brought up, and your experiences
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the reason why i dont like COMPLETELY independent women is because it makes me feel pathetic and worthless. i like to know i can do something for my woman and i like to know i can keep her happy. from the experiences ive had, i dont like women like that. theres nothing at all i can do to keep her happy and she ends up contemplating on breaking up with me because she feels dating me is pointless. we all like to feel like we can do something for the person we love; and we all love doing it. but when the person we love can do everything we can do, and maybe even better than we can, then we start to feel pointless. personally i might have to have an independent woman but i just hope she shows me that she cares about me and doesnt just say it. i can handle communication but i cant stand it when im not shown whats being said
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Okay, that's something else entirely. Thanks for clearing it up.
I dated a wealthy women many years ago and it was hard for me. I simply could not compete with her lifestyle. She was always willing to pick up the tab when she chose expensive places, but it was still difficult for me to accept.
I'm not saying the attitude is right or wrong, but many men are raised to think about money and women in a specific way. It's hard to have the woman not financially interdependent with the man. I think it is easier in our society for a woman to be depend on a man for money then for a man to depend on a women.
I've had a relationship where we were both financially independent of each other, and just split the bills. That can work if both people are fair and mature about it. Of course, it requires talking about that stuff, which can be awkward in a new relationship.
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we are not afraid independent women we are only afraid of women that constantly say they are independent so stop saying that

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See what i mean, men can't handle headstrong women.
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Lol! I agree:)
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Maybe because you're with boys ... not men.
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candybar
Bingo!
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BOYS want you to be dependent on them.

MEN want you to be equal to them.
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Yes n deed
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walt o reagun, very true
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Because men like to take care of their women. If you say you dont need a man, he feels like he's useless. I'm not a guy, but that's my opinion

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That makes sense, but i would never be dependent on a man. Im way to smart to do that. But that is just my opinion.
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this is incredibly true. if you tell a man you dont need him then he feels useless. after all we are taught from a young age that we must support our women. were also taught that its our role to find a job and work all day so the woman can feel happy.
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Yeah. I agree gobstoneninja
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it comes natural to us to want to support our women. i mean when our woman has to go out there and support herself it makes us feel bad. since we were young, we were taught to protect women and support them as much as we can. i know if i did not support my woman but she supported herself id feel pathetic. plus, independent women dont really give men the attention we want. maybe thats a good answer

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It's good for why BOYS don't like independent women.

MEN value an equal partner more than a dependent one.
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a BOY couldnt handle a dependent woman. he wouldnt be able to handle the working every day he would have to endure. the fact his woman would have everything she wanted and hed have to sacrifice for her. how can you call anyone a BOY when in reality they would be more of a MAN than you would be?
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"everything she wanted" ... lol

That, in itself, goes contrary to the very question.
A WOMAN doesn't want to be dependent on someone. A GIRL wants someone to provide everything for her.

It has to do with maturity and self-esteem.
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And a MAN knows the difference between being able/willing to provide everything to someone ... and letting them be able to go their own way, including making their own decisions.
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no it doesnt actually. it all has to do with society, family, and how one was brought up. i gave you the example already of how some men are raised to protect women and fight for them. its not the way you say it is. its all about how some people are raised to be. some people are raised that its wrong for a woman to be independent. i know i wont raise my daughter to be like that but i know some parents do raise their children like that. you obviously know nothing about child psychology
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and the fact that youre making money for your woman doesnt mean youre not letting them make their own decisions. idk where youre getting that from
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This is the easiest question I've had all day.... You hang around with the wrong type if men... For example, I think independent women are great, even sexy. You may be hanging around with some insecure men. Time to upgrade!

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I don't it just matters on person :) I guess and you can't count on 1 experience .
hope this helps :)

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R u sure?U cannot generalize yr experience.It depends on the situation.But perhaps they get all weird,not because they learn that u don't like to be supported by a man,but the reason might be sth quite different than u think.

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Not afraid of independent women. Prefer them. You have to realize something though.... You are young and the MEN you speak of are most likely BOYS. You said you are 18 so I am assuming you are not hanging with the 30 something crowd. Age does NOT make a man.

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Im not dating 30 year olds, lol but i am also not dating anyone younger than I am.
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GOOD. Thats a plus. Remember though... Guys around your age...... are still boys. They just think they are men
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if they can handle a job, then theyre enough of a man. thats what it takes to make a man. if a guy has a job and he works it well enough then hes enough of a man.
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Takes even more than a job to be a man.
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Having a job does not make you a man.
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And yeah, if you're an 18-year-old girl, you've almost certainly got it figured out better than the boys you hang out with. Give them some time. But do the same for yourself. The point of a relationship is co-dependency, making it easier on each other. It takes time to learn not to dominate or to be too (self-consciously) independent.
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Men like to feel "manly" when they are with a women. If you are fully capable of doing everything yourself then it makes a man feel useless.
I have the same problem in reverse. I can cook, sew, wash clothes, iron, and do everything except have a baby. (I not much for house cleaning though.... lol).
Let a man do things for you even if you are capable of doing them yourself. Who knows you might learn to enjoy the extra attention?

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I will let a man do "manly" stuff lol like mow the lawn or something, but i wouldn't let him be my only financial support.
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there all kinds of support the $$$ are not the important part of a relationship.Mowing the lawn I can do my self.Changeing the oil there WalMart.But when I am crying my eyes out its his arms I want around me.Its knowing he is there when I need him in an ever way The $$ is much less important
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A relationship should be "complimentary" with each doing the things that they are the best at. Even swapping roles at certain times such as mowing versus cooking can add 'spice" to a relationship. I don't want a helpless female, but I don't want a ballbreaker either
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Beacause men

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Apophis

Because men are naturally dominant. We aren't afraid of independent women, we just a girl who does want us to help and look after them. I had a girlfriend once who would get angry at me for protecting her from drunks at bars and get defensive whenever I offered to help her do something. We don't want that. I certainly didn't.

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then u had the wrong girl.Being protective is different then letting her be independent.W
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We like to know we do not have to have a man but I am sure glad to Know your there.I for one want my man around all the time. He lets me be me in all ways
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Apophis
That's a matter of opinion, as is this question for each individual guy. But I agree I had the wrong girl. That's why it's "had" not "have". ;)
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whaat! thats my kinda woman

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More women need to think like you! Not all, but many men need to feel important. You will eventually meet a man that wants a true partnership where you both can contribute equally. Good luck!

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Find the right man... I personally love a independent woman,But some guys do feel useless around them. Most men are the same but there are a few that have different tastes... P.S. I support women when they want me to.

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Not all en are afraid of independent women.Men do like to be in control that's how they are raised.There is difference between independent and controling.You have to balance the two.Let your man know he's important to you do not take him for granted.There are lots of ways to let your man know he's needed.Its not just $$$ that's important

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YourDemons

Perhaps, the men you have told this to are immature. You look very young, if they are your age, this may be the case.

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I am 18, but i don't date younger men, i am usually with 23-25 year olds.
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YourDemons
Then perhaps you should focus more on their maturity level, and not so much on their age. Men can act immature, no matter what age.
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candybar
Like you Dickmon?
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The way I was raised is the man is to take care of the woman. But yet the woman has to cook, clean, raise the kids, pay the bills, etc. I have worked and enjoy working. But when my partner says it's his job then I honor him because how I was raised. I have worked while married but he complained he never got to see me. So now I work from home as a reptile breeder and he is happy because 1 I'm home, and 2 he has a bunch of reptiles lol

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Some men like to dominate, some men want to be dominated, and some men want to share equally. Hang in there for the latter. There are plenty of them out there. A very wise religious figure once stated that relationships are like birds. A bird soars highest when both wings are of equal strength.

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A really bad painter, poet and printmaker said this. “The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.” Sounds familiar.
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@Science: I agree, but not sure how it relates to my answer.
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Most men like to be the dominant & like the women to dependent on them

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That's kinda old school.
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Thats kinda REALLY old school.
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I would say that they are intimidated. I myself am not scared of independent girls for the most part. However you should be careful as girls in general are dangerous XP. This one girl at school kept beating on me and no teacher at school ever believed me :F. Apparently, that a guy gets attacked by a girl seems to be very unbelievable. Anyway good for you being independent.

I think the real reason is that you say that you don't wanna be supported by a man.

That sorta sounds like you don't want a man to give you anything or be around. And dealing with angry women is one of the hardest things on earth. I could use feedback from you on this XP

Laura just make it seem a little less like: "I am gonna support myself so back off from me" (says the strong independent woman who needs not you)
It sorta comes off like that XP

-from a teenage guy

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Lol, well i want companionship of course but, i just want to be able to take care of myself financially.
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Oh then just say that XP
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Not all are you just gotta get out in the world and you'll see how many guys will line up at your door cause you are independent

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Personally my man loves that I am independent. He thinks it's really sexy. Keep being who you are and you will eventually find a man that loves it just like I did.

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they fear that you don't need them...even though they want you

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