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My 13 year old daughter was caught smoking cigarettes! I'm at a loss of what I should do with her...any suggestions from other parents?

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My adivce? (I'm not a parent either so I'm not going to pretend like I know anything) She's 13? So she's starting to really like boys and care about what they think....so if she has any guy friends that you know, I would maybe talk to one of them and have them say something like "Ugh smoking is so gross, I would never date a girl who smokes." Peer pressure can be bad AND GOOD. If she know's that people her own age think that's disgusting she's more likely to not do it than if you were to punish her.

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You hit it right in the head! It was a new cute boy who pressured her into it.
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joshuabagel

Make her smoke the whole pack one after the other
Teach her about stoma's and all the other negative things that can happen from smoking

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Beat me to it! :)
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joshuabagel
I swear smoking is one of the stupidest things you can do...
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I agree! Totally!
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That doesn't work, my mo did that to my sister when we were teens. She still smokes so I don't think that works.
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joshuabagel
Leave a cheap cigar lying around, let her puff on that for bout half an hour...
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joshuabagel
I got cancer at 18 and don't even smoke, one of the chemo meds I take has a side effect where second hand smoke can make me lose my hearing
If I went deaf and knew she was responsible, met her face-to-face, I'd probably stab her in the neck
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Grounding her wont do her anything take away internet

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give a tight slap to her...till left cigarette...

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I'm not a parent, but honestly, I wouldn't post this in public cuz it's illegal to smoke under 18 or do drugs like that so you won't have to deal with any trouble... My help is to send her to counciling give her a talk, and and be VERY strict bout it

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It's not illegal to smoke under 18, it's illegal for her to BUY cigarettes.
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Kids do illegal stuff all the time. Like sex while unmarried. Technically fornication is punishable by 90 days in jail and $1000 dollar fine. Just saying, kids do illegal stuff. And grown ups too!
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Dude, really? *she says sarcastically.
Nothing I posted was illegal and you're right, you're obviously not a parent and still a kid yourself.
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Do what my mom was made to do when she was caught. Make her smoke one after another after another until she is so sick of them she either vomits or passes out. My mother claims this worked for her. Otherwise take her to see a person with a disease caused by smoking and all the nasty effects from it. The stained teeth, bad breath, heart disease....etc. Smoking isn't cool anymore, well never was, and I don't understand why anyone would start.

Side note:
Why do we allow sale of this toxic product? We outlaw lead in paint, smoking kills more than that. We banned DDT (pesticide) which effect Bald Eagles but smoking kills more than that. I just don't understand why we even allow the sale or production of a product that kills. Either allow anything or nothing I say.

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My mom did that to my sister years ago and it didn't work, she still smokes.
I myself smoke so she's quite aware of ALL the bad.
This is why I asked for other parents suggestions.
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Sorry to be blunt but if smoking is in your family or you do it yourself, your daughter is only following an example. By you smoking you are telling her it's alright. "Actions speak louder than words." This will be tough to tell her no to smoke.
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The difference is I'm an adult. THIS is why I ask OTHER PARENTS, not kids who think they know more than us who've been around. My husband and two sister in laws are all three non smokers, BOTH their parents smoke. What's next? I shouldn't ever be able to have a drink for the same reasons? You know nothing of the world of parenting.
"No offense"
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jpink2
Hassen... Is a parent. Not to be disrespectful, but if so many people in your family smoke why are you surprised your daughter is following the family footprint? If she is around second hand smoke then she has nicotine in her system already... It's easier to become addicted when you have access to cigarettes all the time. I'm sure you don't want her to smoke, and maybe she will be smart and never start. Most kids like to experiment so hopefully that's all it will amount to.
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I am sorry if I was insensitive to your question SexySedai but I just know that kids will do what they see and not what you say. I have 5 children, all girls, and I never drink around them. I actually chose not to drink because of them. I have never smoked so that wasn't a problem. I guess you could say my kids help me because I give up certain "adult only" habits for the good of the children. If they choose to do something in their adult life I just want to make sure it wasn't by my example.

Side note: Ask.com is an opinion site anyway, please don't be offended if I give an answer you don't agree with, I don't mean you harm, just giving my opinion. Thanks!
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Not a parent, but maybe start with why its a bad idea..

Smoking gives you bad breath.
makes your clothes and hair smell.
turns your teeth and fingernails yellow
makes you look pale and unhealthy.
causes wrinkles.
leaves you with a hacking cough and phlegm.
Zaps your energy for sports and other favorite activities.

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Your words exactly, you're not a parent.
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I WAs CAUGHT @11.! talk to and tell the dangers. I can't. breath good now! I hurt and your. skin look doesn't. look 22-25anymore!

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She already knows all of this, I myself smoke.
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30 days with no Internet, phone, tv, etc. absolutely nothing. She is allowed to go to school, when she comes home is sent immediately to her stripped room. She is allowed to come down for dinner.
Tell her, you may hate me now but I am going to save your life whether you like it it not and if I ever catch you at it again it will be SIX months.

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Well, i'm not a parent but when my brother who is 17, got caught with a lighter, then he confessed to my mom, she was really angry, and she had him call her (ex husband) who smokes, different things and cigarettes, and had him talk to my brother about how smoking is bad and can ruin your life, and all sorts of stuff, so my advice would be to sit down with her, and maybe watch some videos of former smokers, or people who got cancer from smoking and try and show her all the bad and nasty things about smoking and definitely talk to the boys parents, I think it's a good idea. I hope this helped.:)

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Well you said "from other parents" so that excludes me. Others have suggested making her smoke a whole pack and I've heard of this being done. I don't know if it's a good idea though because it is toxic.

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No it's not a good idea and it doesn't really work.
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jpink2

Quit smoking yourself. You cannot get mad at her if you smoke. For some reason teens feel invincible to all disease, so I think telling them about all the awful things that can harm them seems to have little effect. Take away the phone and ground her for two weeks. Tell her next time she even looks at a smoke it will be worse! If possible, try not smoking around her... Good luck

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Yeah actually I can because I'm a legal adult AND I'm the parent. If you go along those lines then what's next not being able to have an alcoholic beverage? No.
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Sorry pink, that doesn't work even if Sadie wanted to do so. Both my husband and I smoked for many years and my daughter was around it from her birth. She stealth with the smell, listened to her father coughing his lungs up each morning, watched both of us lose more and more lung capacity. From the time she was about 6 she despised smoking and that has never changed. Let an impressionable youth see the ugly side of smoking for a period of time will change their mind about how cool it is.
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jpink2
@sexy..., just saying it's hard for teens to hear "do as I say not as I do". And I suppose if you had a lot of alcohol around the home a teen might be more likely to swipe some.
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jpink2
@boo, you have a point. My mom & dad smoked. I just said goodbye to my dad 2 yrs. ago after caring for him in his last days. He had lung cancer. My mother has emphysema and can barely get 50 feet without having to stop and catch her breath. I used to smoke and it was a hard addiction to kick... I think nicotine was in my system from birth! Whenever I am tempted I think of my parents. I think everyone should quit for the sake of their own health and that of their family... But to each his/ her own. All in time right!
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Pink. Correct. The only eat that quitting stuck for me is I got sick and couldn't eat, smoke, etc for about a week. When I got better I reached for a cig and thought man that's stupid.
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My mom made me smoke the whole pack at 13 ... I would try that

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My mom did that to my sister when she was 13 she's now 31 and still smokes.
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After my mom caught my sister at the same age YEARS ago. She whipped her butt real good. Then grounded her from everything. All she could do was sit in a bare room when she wasn't in school. I'm all for some good old fashioned butt whippings. Thats whats wrong with most kids now a days, they aren't getting any whippings. Now I have heard of parents making the kids smoke one after another until they get sick. My Fiance said take her to the hospital floor with all the dying smokers, let them talk some sense in her while she sees what it does. Maybe some doctors can show her all the organs it messes up.

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I'm not a parent but I am a teen and a lot of the kids these days do that and I see the kids they hang around and they are nothing but trouble. Except they do more than smoke cigarettes they also smoke weed and drink and they are only 13. It most likely has to do with the people she hangs out with. And she is probably thinking "its my life and my choices." which is what a girl I know had said about her parents finding out she smokes weed. You need to have a strict and serious talk with her and try your best to get through to her. NOW is the time to help her before it gets any worse. I was going to suggest changing her school maybe for her to have a fresh new start and stay away from the people who most likely influenced her to start smoking. That girl who I said had her parents finding out she smokes? She was such a good girl. I had met her once at a small party and she was so nice and smiled at everyone and now she's a lot more messed up. She's still a really nice person. This doesn't make your daughter a bad person, she just made bad choices.

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Agree w/armarie. Wish the kids i hung with had that attitude! If you yourself smoke, it's gonna be hard to convince her not to. Do you see yourself quitting? If so, enlist her help. Otherwise you might tell her your regrets about starting. My dad said long ago, "when i see you smoke, i think 'how stupid!'", and i never forgot that. Good luck.

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