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I have been feeling really underappreciated lately and need some advice. Read details.

so lately I've been having troubles at work and I've been really stressed. and to top it off as soon as I get home I do laundry and clean up after myself and my boyfriend. I never even have time for myself anymore. lately I have been doing pretty much everything except the cooking.. and he keeps fighting me about everything. telling me I don't do enough and he called me a lazy as. I understand sometimes that people are under stress but when I'm pushing myself so hard to work and clean up and I'm doing a pretty amazing job at all of it then why can't he just appreciate that? I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to him but he doesn't seem to care much. normally we get along great but recently there has been all this tension. what should I do?

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I suggest you try talking to him again, cause that's only fair. Put your feelings out there and tell him how you're feeling. If that doesn't make him hear you, then girlfriend take a day off! Don't do nothing! And don't stay around there looking at it, take a day off and do you! Go to the spa, get a massage, get a facial a manicure and pedicure. Show yourself some appreciation. Every girl needs some me time so take yours! And stop worrying about the chores, cause unless he hires a maid, then let it sit there! Go on strike and go out and appreciate yourself! Have your me time!

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Doesn't seem like a good boyfriend who appreciates all the hard work you do. How long have you been together?

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3 and a half years.
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Eh that's a long time. And he just started acting like this?
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Yes. Very recently.
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Maybe something happened to him at work or something? Or he started hanging out with some new douche guy?
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You should really push for an agreement with him, but if him being around would put more stress on then he eases then there's no point he should help more aspect less or move out.

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Wow, just think how it would be if you added some kids to the mix. Which pretty much describes American family. It's kinda sad in a way.

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What do you mean 'which pretty much describes American family'??
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To much time working and not enough time developing relationships.
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I agree bluesun. You find the perfect person and they never seem to have time for anything, or you are busy when they are available. Sounds normal.
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It really is. No time for each other anymore because I'm too busy doing everything. Sleeping is the only time we have together.
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Well that's the best time.
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Oh I thought you meant something else, but yeah that's true.
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If there is a great deal of tension, you need to find a way to calm down before you get home.
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If he is acting different, more critical for no good reason, he might be into someone else. That is how guys act when they don't want you around because they want to be with another person. They look for reasons to put you down.
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Just keep your eyes and ears open. Doing more may not be the answer.
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It sounds like he is ungrateful for what you contribute. If you are giving more and getting less love, attention, and appreciation maybe you are being too nice to him and he thinks you are his servant. Do not be anyone's slave. If need be boycott his you-know-what. Don't do all the shopping, cooking, laundry, etc. Do a whole new group of chores like cleaning your car, really making it shine, take extra time on something else where you can see the results. That way at least YOU will show appreciation to YOU. Think about appreciating yourself first and then maybe the guy and the boss will follow suit.
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Good luck! Take care of you.

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Is this the kind of relationship you want to devote your life too? Be fair, does he contribute to household chores in his own way, or is he in front of the tv or computer while you do the chores? Is he kind and supportive to you, are you to him? Does he make you laugh? Does he act like he cares for you, or are you just handy to have around? Do you have the same goals as he does? Is he ambitious and looking to improve his (and your) life? What about children, do you want them, does he? If you have kids, what does he think his responsibilities will be? Maybe he is just immature and will grow up, but you deserve to be appreciated. Think it through and then act, even if it's the hardest thing you've ever done. Living alone and earning your own money can be very empowering. Having popcorn for dinner and reading a book in bed all day Saturday can be fun. These are the things to do as a young, single person cuz once the kids come it's a different world.

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Well before it was kind of even with the chores then I thought about it because he kept pushing me to help more and more so I did for him but for him to call me names and be a jerk when I am doing so much makes me not want to do any of it anymore. Like I added up everything we do and the only things he does that I don't do is sweep and clean his coffee pot. Other than that I mop and clean the room and bathrooms and do the laundry. Then we both wipe counters, vacuum, and do dishes/trash. And yes he used to make me laugh and make me happy but not recently. I have so much stress on my shoulders and I feel like I can't be happy or content. it's just constant stress. I don't know about kids. We both recently decided we wanted them but now I'm not sure at all about that because he expects me to be stay at home mom while he is a doctor.. I don't think I meet his expectations there.
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Do you have good communications with him? If so, it sounds like you need to have a good sit-down with him. If he has gotten unhappy with you, you have a right to know what's going on. If the problem is just situational (like his job or school or something outside of your control) at least you will know it is not your fault and you can work as a team on what's bothering him. And you and he could work as a team on what's bothering you. I'm thinking it is probably not just that you do more of the housework...I'm thinking it is because he is yelling at you, calling you names, and being a jerk. Is family counseling a possibility?
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