A little boy and his mom get back from church and the boy says: "Mommy, is God a man or a woman?" The mother says: "Well honey, God is both a man and a woman." The boy looks confused and says: "Mommy, is God black or white?" The mother says: "Well honey, God is both black and white." The boy looks even more confused and says: "Mommy, is God gay or straight?"The mother says: "Well honey, God is both gay and straight." The boy then nods and says: "Mommy, is God Michael Jackson?
Two blondes left their keys in their car. One tries to open the car while the other stands by. The first blonde eventually says "I can't open the car". So the blonde who was standing by says "Well, we'll need to do something quick. It looks like it's about to rain and the top is down".
1 year ago
Last edited at 6:42PM on 8/26/2012
This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
Man: "What was that for?" Wife: "I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?" Man: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on." The wife felt bad, made him a nice breakfast and goes off to work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she hits him again with the frying pan
Man: "What the hell was that for this time?" Wife: "Your horse called."
Here are some anti-jokes. "Juan has 40 candy bars, if Juan eats 35, what does Juan have? Diabetes. Juan has diabetes" "a man walks into a bar, the bartender asks,"why the long face?" the man replies,"my mom was r@ped by a horse" "why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 hasn't been the same since Vietnam"