Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit

What can I do when in a disagreement with Husband and he talks over me ( won't let me get a word in) and then yells at me?

It can be intimidating, I usually walk away, but it's very hurtful. I was upset because at 10 pm he told me he needed work clothes washed, he only has 2 work shirts. Anyhow he had been home from work since at 2:30 pm and laid in bed and watched T.V., I babysit all day till 6 pm, then I have to care for my 4 kids, one is a baby. after working all day, I cook, clean, homework, give baby bath, ect.... by the time 10 pm came around I finally got to lay down , then he tells me that he forgot he needs a clean work shirt...I told him , it's his responsibility to let me know earlier and that he could of done it, instead of just laying in bed. He got so mad, yelled at me and then slammed the door. Well he still doesn't see that he did anything wrong and told me that he will show me what a slammed door sounds like and yelled at me.

Report as

Ok. Now take some advise from a man's point of view. Your husband needs to "man up" and take responsibility for himself. I myself have three work shirts and when I need them cleaned, I gather up enough of my own dirty laundry to make a small load and I wash them myself. My wife has enough to do around the house without being my nursemaid. Chores around the house should be a TEAM EFFORT!! And that's the bottom line, cuz Verne50 said so!!!!

Helpful (5) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
He complains that his Job is physically exhausting and I don't understand. He tells me I am not the one that has to be up at 2 am to go to work. I told him it's not my fault that when u come home, you watch tv and Facebook till 10 pm.
Report as
You go Vern lol !!!!!!
Report as
Oh Vern, if we both weren't already married........
Report as
Add a comment...

Just ignore him and let him keep yelling. Yes it's loud and intimidating, but it's just words. As long as you show him that they have no effect on you, then he loses his "power" over you. If you are in bed and he's yelling about shirts needed to be washed, I would roll over and go to sleep (or at least pretend I was asleep). He'll get the point after a bit, especially if he wants clean clothes for himself.

Outside of that though, if this is something that happens on a regular basis, you may want to consider counseling.

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Roll over and pretend to be asleep.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Guilty people generally over react when confronted. Ignore the outburst and speak with him when he's calm. The work load is not fairly distributed. PERIOD. He has 2 arms and can help out by at least throwing a load of his own laundry in! Invest in a few more work shirts as soon as possible too!

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

sounds like a job for supernanny. he needs a wake up call

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Your husband does not respect you. Just keep doing your thing. Did these traits not show up while you were having four kids?

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
Yes , actually my twins are from my first marriage, I have two boys with him, he is a recovery alcoholic and I was young and stupid.
Report as
Eek..
Report as
Add a comment...
Lowheadroom

STOP doing his laundry. Let him see what it is like to either wear dirty clothes or stay up late to do his own laundry. Give him the same crap that he gives you.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Next time tell him you do not do chores after dinner. You were right that he is old enough to do his own laundry at the last minute. Tell him he does not get to kick and stomp his feet like a child. It's unfair to suggest you should wash and dry clothes that late. Especially since you will be up with the baby at dawn. That's just rude.

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

You need to set a time aside, when there will be no distractions (kids, work, tv), and you are both calm.. Tell him you have some things to say to him that are bothering you.. Set the ground rules (respect each other's opinions, no interruptions, no name calling, no yelling, no talking over each other). Ask if he's open to you speaking first, and if not, give him his say (following the ground rules, yourself) When it is YOUR turn, tell him everything you told us, HOWEVER, use "I" statements to depersonalize and diffuse any accusation/accusatory tone.. (I feel intimidated when I hear you yelling at me, I feel unappreciated when I work all day, and you wait until the last minute to tell me to do something..) stay away from "you" statements (this is, by far, THE HARDEST thing to do) don't say, "you" make me feel bad, "you" always yell at me.. Practice "good" fighting, because fights are inevitable.. I counsel couples in this ALL the time, and my guy and I still fight.. It's not THAT you fight (fights are helpful and clear the air), it's HOW you fight.. If this doesn't work for you over the course of a few months, suggest counseling.. It's helpful (and I'm giving you the baseline tools that your counselor would give). If he refuses to go, go alone.. You'll learn a lot either way.. Good luck.. oh, and he should be doing his own last minute laundry, anyway.. he's not three..

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
a full grown man having the temper tantrum of a three year old !
Report as
Ridiculous, right!!?
Report as
Add a comment...

Sweetheart you have your hands full . How much more can he ask of you . Your doing more than expected of anyone with 4 kids. It's easier said than done to walk out but that sounds like abuse to me. He should be helping you !!

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

I think only he can answer that. Hopefully he's willing to.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Put your foot down !!! You deserve some respect ... Sit him down & say what you mean & mean what you say!!!!!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

He sounds immature. I would just roll over and go to sleep or only put them in the wash and go straight to sleep. He gets up in the morning and says something. Just tell him that he said you to wash them not dry or say that you were so exhausted from your hard day at work that you just fell right to sleep. When both parents work, it's 50/50 to help.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer