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26Simmons26
26Simmons26: 8 months ago

Should I forgive my dad?

My parents got a divorce about 3 1/2 years ago. A big reason is because me and my dad always argued, about everything. And during the divorce he was very hateful to me and my mom several times. I still have not forgave him for the things he has said to me and my mom, and i still have to see him every other weekend. We still fight then. I don't really think he deserves to be forgiven. Should I forgive him though?

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rsarnol
rsarnol: 8 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 1:10PM on 9/8/2012

I've been divorced for 2.5 years and honestly I was a huge douchebag to my kids sometimes, especially my sons, but I can say after divorce and waking up to a quiet house, coming home to an empty quiet house made me realize what I'd lost and I realized exactly how much my kids mean to me, granted I wasn't as bad as your dad sounds but still, that reality check woke my ass up real quick as to what was important in life, my kids and I have gotten 100 times closer since then. If your dad hasn't had this wake up call yet after 3 and a half years hes probably not gonna, if he still treats you like crap after all then I'd just say whatever you have to say to him, get it all off your chest, he probably won't like it but whatever. He should be asking you for forgiveness. You can forgive his behavior and anger toward you, but why, it will likely happen again. Rather than forgive I'd confront. you can forgive over and over but forgetting is always harder.

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Beautiful_Mess
Beautiful_Mess: 8 months ago via Android

No. After 3 1/2 years and he's still treating you horrible, He doesn't deserve your forgiveness

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7starkiller99
7starkiller99: 8 months ago | Last edited at 12:03PM on 9/8/2012

You should forgive him because keeping bitterness in your heart will just poison you. People who hold grudges hurt themselves while the person who hurt them usually has a happy life >.<

I forgive people because it helps me get on with life. However, this does not mean you forgot the horrible things that were done. You just need to stop hurting yourself.

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NerdBoiDon: 8 months ago
very very ture
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7starkiller99: 8 months ago
I guess so -_- Just trying to help here ^_^
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missannjack: 8 months ago
Very thoughtful and very true. You're a good person. Blessed Be.
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7starkiller99: 8 months ago
Woah! 1rst compliment of the day -_-
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blondieboo
blondieboo: 8 months ago

Yes. Find it in your heart to forgive him and watch your relationship gradually evolve into a more peaceful state

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NerdBoiDon
NerdBoiDon: 8 months ago

me and my dad argued, mostly because he was an abusive drunk. he would call my mom and sister very bad names in front of me, hoping to brainwash me. he would hit me, and ridicule me on a daily basis. one day i beat the living sh*t out of him, im not proud of it, but it showed him that he couldn't push me around anymore. he died a year later, in 2008. it took me awhile but i finally forgave him just recently.

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debbie333333: 8 months ago
you sued tell him you hate him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n
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debbie333333
debbie333333: 8 months ago

you sued hate me for your life and say to him i hate you i never want to see you

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Reddragon66
Reddragon66: 8 months ago | Last edited at 12:07PM on 9/8/2012

Forgiveness in this case would be an extrodinary act of grace. Though, with everything he's done to you he doesn't deserve your forgiveness, and it will be very difficult to forgive him, you may continue to hurt if you don't at least try to forgive him. Just a thought.

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BronyGirl
BronyGirl: 8 months ago | Last edited at 12:14PM on 9/8/2012

No way. if he still is being a jerk after 3 1/2 years, then no. I wouldn't.

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johngriffin650: 8 months ago via iPhone
Are we sure his behavior was appriate?
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anonymous_person
anonymous_person: 8 months ago via iPhone

Well forgiveness is one of the major points of the bible, he doesn't deserve forgiveness but you should forgive him anyways

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johngriffin650
johngriffin650: 8 months ago via iPhone

Let it go everyone will be happier. Try to find something you and your dad can do together without discord. Just get along your parents will always love you.

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bikergirl40
bikergirl40: 8 months ago | Last edited at 12:08PM on 9/8/2012

Remember .. it takes TWO to argue and fight. If you want to lay blame where blame is due you have to accept your fair share. I don't know all the details, of course .. but there are two sides to every story. My guess is, HIS side would show that he is not the only antagonist in this story.

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26Simmons26
26Simmons26: 8 months ago
Your correct, we both have anger issues, but it seems like I just try much harder to control my anger than he does to control his.
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bikergirl40: 8 months ago
Perhaps because you are of a stronger character and strength .. he is weaker. There will always be tension and drama when you are so mismatched. But, you have to decide just how far you are willing to allow that to control your life. Take charge .. Don't allow him to bring you down to his level. Move on .. and make the best of your life .. We all have to suffer the consequences of our own behaviour.
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boondox4l
boondox4l: 8 months ago | Last edited at 12:13PM on 9/8/2012

im 16 years old and have been going through a bunch of stuff with my dad since i was 8
forgive him but when you argue be the bigger man that's what i do
My dad is the same way as yours from what you told me
my mom divorced my dad because he was doing meth. he still makes excuses for it and blames it on me and my mom. Like if i didnt have seizures and he said my mom was cheating on him. But in the end it was all lies to make him self feel better. My mom didnt cheat cause i was with her 24/7 and he forgot the fact he was wrong for hurting us.
Try to find some friends at school who have gone or are presently going through the same thing you are now. Ask what they do to coop with the situation or try talking to your dad and dont be afraid to say what you feel. i tell him i respect your feelings and now you have to respect mine and if you dont then dont talk to me. Hope this helps
forgive and dont forget

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johngriffin650: 8 months ago via iPhone
Very good attitude, hope it works put for you
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flinnthehuman
flinnthehuman: 8 months ago via iPhone

You should forgive everyone... But never forget they're names.

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bfb123
bfb123: 8 months ago via iPhone

Dude you should forgive I know he's done a lot but if Jesus can forgive everyone in the world for their sins you can forgive your dad

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rosy5762
rosy5762: 8 months ago via iPhone

His your father no matter what,u should still forgive him

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sue2013
sue2013: 8 months ago via iPhone

Do what's comfortable for YOU. It is your choice entirely. Forgive-forget-accept-avoid-disassociate-and so forth. I do believe that you should first ask yourself how you might have contributed to this dysfunctional relationship, and try changing the way you relate to him. You can be true to yourself, but act respectfully. See how that goes. Best wishes.

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Iowachel
Iowachel: 8 months ago via Android

your forgiveness should and will come from your heart. your going in the right direction because you're thinking about it. you may need a little more time .......it will come to you. keep that open heart ......

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GeorgiaRandell
GeorgiaRandell: 8 months ago

do what deep in your heart feels right... if you cant find it in yourself to forgive him then dont and thats fine but if you do want a relationship with him then try rebuild that xx

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Emilyviolinpuppy
Emilyviolinpuppy: 8 months ago

no

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