Teens have to be teens....if they weren't we would be inclined to coddle them the rest of their lives and keep them under our wings forever.
The hardest part is allowing them to receive the consequences of their choices when they don't accept a parent's wise council. Of course each teen is unique.
I've always said that some people learn by watching and some learn by doing. As parents we can and should not enable or rescue our kids at every turn. It strengthens them when they know you will love them no matter what---even if they make bad choices.
I went to a class years ago and James J Jones (Lets Fix The Kids) was the teacher. The class was on enabling our children. I'll never forget what he said. It shocked me but it also changed me... He said, "Those who constantly rescue and enable their children are satisfying their own selfish agenda."
So basically my teen kiddos knew that I would be there to love them when they made good decisions or bad ones. One spent time in jail...and when the others saw him stay there they knew that I say what mean and I mean what I say.
Now they are grown with families of their own. I love watching them. Sometimes I hear my own words being said by my adult children to their kids lol!!
When teens don't listen to us it breaks our heart. Nevertheless, we must allow them to be responsible for their choices and behavior. It's hard on parents but we are refined in the process of allowing them to mature without rescuing them all the time.
Teenagers go through the "know-it-all" phase and are trying to be independent. The teen years can be difficult because he/she is stuck between kid and adult. If your a teen try to remember your parent has been there and doesn't want you to repeat mistakes they or others have made. If your a parent try explaining why you're telling the teen to do or not do something.
Most of them think their parents don't understand them at all. It is also because of the development and behavior changes associated with them. For some it is simply because they are rude and ill mannered.