A good husband-loves you no matter what flaws you have, loves kids, is fateful, believes a person can be together for infinity, respects and protects everything around him, and will never let a meaningless fight get between his marriage.
Someone who cares for you and are there for you no matter what. Who puts your needs in front of their own cuz they love you and have trust in you. Someone you can't live without!! Your best friend. I wish I had one.
Try this; Sit down and write a list of all the things you'd like your lifetime mate to possess. Try to keep it to less than 20. You know, stuff like: must love kids, must love family, honesty, fidelity, trust. Right down to; must love cats/dogs, must dance or want to learn. Put the list in a safe place for 1 week.
After a week, pull out the list and put the things you wrote down in order of importance. You can only put down a new item if you remove an old one. OK, put the list away again but this time for 3 days.
After 3 days pull out the list and cross off anything that isn't a deal breaker. (like must have blue eyes)
Now read your list. Do you measure up to the things you hold dear? If not, Time to do some changing girl! Can't expect others to do what we ourselves do not. Be real about yourself and then you have room to judge others.
Does he measure up? If he's not everything on your list, right now, then Let him go.
He would love and accept me for who I am. The times that I are at my worst, he might not like me too well at that moment, but he would still love me and would understand and be willing to accept my apology. Likewise, when he had a moment, he would be able to apologize, too. He'd still think I was sexy in my comfy clothes. I would be able to talk to him about EVERYTHING and he would be able to tell me ANYTHING. We would enjoy whatever we were doing because of each others company. He would be there smiling during the good times, be proud of my accomplishments, and be able to lift me up when I was down with a look and a smile. He would comfort me when sad, and allow me to grieve when necessary. He would be honest enough to tell me if something I was wearing didn't look so good, but he wouldn't be mean about it. He would be happy to take a ride in my truck and have the decency to act impressed. AND he would not get upset with me when other drivers comment on the CB that they think I'm pretty. He would however, be quick to let anyone know that they cannot go past a compliment (I would be letting them know that I have MY MR PERFECT) he'd have my back. He would wrap his arms around me every chance he got, and we would (well you know) every chance we had. Oh, and he would KILL SPIDERS!
For me my husband is a perfect match. He is my soft place to fall, he heals my broken- ness, he makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he is a good, solid strong man. He is the father he never had- for our son, he is strong enough to keep me challenged, and he thinks I'm beautiful whether I'm dressed to kill of I just woke up. Is he perfect? No. But he is perfect for me.
2 years ago
Last edited at 10:27PM on 9/3/2011
Works hard. Comes home. Lives within means. Loves you, Loves kids, (if applicable). Controls temper. Has sense of humor. Keeps bad guys away. Not afraid to sing, dance, or impress kids with bicep. Might fart on occasion. Cries when dog dies, happy when cat dies. Wears socks with sandals. Never runs out of cold beer. Always has a wrench of the right size. Complains about the government. Alyways needs help with cell phone.
I think, as I would guess you know that there is not one answer. There is no one size fits all. It is a combination of both of the partner’s needs and wants. What may seem ideal for you may seem totally inadequate for someone else. I have been married for 41 years. My wife is not my best friend, she is my lover. I spend months away from her at a time, but she is excited when I get home and we do things that she would never have done without me. (A trip around the US on a motorcycle, two months in Mexico, a month in Italy) Conversely some relationships have a need for constant reassurance. This works for them. Bottom line is I do not believe there is one answer. You have to determine your needs, discuss it openly with your partner, and she if he can, and wants to fulfill your needs, and you his.