Question

All > Miscellaneous

lenaE14: 8 months ago

What do you tell to a person who's mother or father has just died?

i would like if people who have had a loved one die answer this..

Answer This Question

Report as

Answer 1

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 11:46PM on 9/23/2012

When my dad died this is what I didn't want to hear-
He's in a better place
Remember the good times
He's no longer suffering -
What helped-
He was a great man
I'm here for you if you need anything, -

truly no words will help anyone when they lose a parent. This is true when anyone loses anyone including spouse, sibling, or family member.
Just tell them "I'm here for you, I'm so sorry for you loss"

Helpful (4) Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (9)

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

ok.... thanx

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

You're welcome. It truly made it harder hearing things they thought would help

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

yea
did you ever get angry at your dad for dying?
you dont have to answer this question if you dont want to ..im just trying to understand better what my cousin is going through right now

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

No I was mad at myself.
He suffered for over 15 years with a bad heart. He had two open heart surgeries and over a dozen heart attacks.
I hated myself cause his last day alive he looked awful! Couldn't hardly stand or talk due to shortness of breath. I thought "ah, I'll talk to him tomorrow" about 10 hours later I was woke up at 2am and told I needed to get to the hospital. I got there and seen all my family (aunts&uncles) he died before I could say goodbye. I just cried and cried by his side as he laid there on the hospital bed. It's the worst pain my heart has ever felt. So bad. To this day I still hate myself for not saying "goodbye dad, I love you. See ya tomorrow"

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

i see
thanx

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

So now I always make a point to leave nothing unsaid. Cause we're not promised a tomorrow:(
Your question was fine. But I do know some people get angry when loved ones dies. Especially if its suicide. That's really hard to deal with

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

Yw:)

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

"leave nothing unsaid" ill think about that

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

Words I live by:)

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 2

FarmerGirlMaryJo: 8 months ago

All you can really tell them is how sorry you are. I know that when my daddy died, I didn't really hear much. You sort of go into a fog. I do remember the people who told me stories about things my father had done for them, and it touched me to know that his life enriched many more lives than just those of his family.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

thank you

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 3

Keiron: 8 months ago

nothing it will only cause them more pain

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (5)

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

Yes, you're so right

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

okay
should i hug them or something?

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

Yes huh them. Tell them "I'm here for you"

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

*hug

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

thanx

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 4

Cinnammon: 8 months ago

I have not had a mother or father die, but my best friend's mother died recently, and I had no idea what to say to her. But I was there for her so she could talk to me if she wanted to, and if it felt like she didn't want me to be sympathetic at that moment, then I did the best I could to cheer her up. I acted as we normally would before her mother died. Its really hard because I was fond of her mother too, but we struggled through together. Just support that person in anyway that you can.

Helpful (3) Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (2)

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

thanx
you sound like a really good friend

Report as

sadiesmomma: 8 months ago via iPhone

Great answer!

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 5

wayne396: 8 months ago via iPhone

Just be there fir them the less said the better

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

thanx

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 6

joshuabagel: 8 months ago

Words quite often won't be necessary for you, show your love and understanding, and that they have a friend that truly cares

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

good answer
thanx

Report as

joshuabagel: 8 months ago

when I was in 11th grade my friend allys father died of a brain aneurysm, all I could do was give her a hug and listen

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 7

hawkmann: 8 months ago via iPhone

Just say your sorry for their loss ....
Thats pretty much all you can say in a moment like that

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

lenaE14: 8 months ago

okay
thanx

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 8

SillyJilly808: 8 months ago

Well I just go up to them and hug them for a LONG TIME then tell them I?m so sorry and cry with them and tell them to be strong. People who lost a parent need comforting...

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)

Report as

Add a comment...