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lenaE14

What do you tell to a person who's mother or father has just died?

i would like if people who have had a loved one die answer this..

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When my dad died this is what I didn't want to hear-
He's in a better place
Remember the good times
He's no longer suffering -
What helped-
He was a great man
I'm here for you if you need anything, -

truly no words will help anyone when they lose a parent. This is true when anyone loses anyone including spouse, sibling, or family member.
Just tell them "I'm here for you, I'm so sorry for you loss"

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lenaE14
ok.... thanx
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You're welcome. It truly made it harder hearing things they thought would help
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lenaE14
yea
did you ever get angry at your dad for dying?
you dont have to answer this question if you dont want to ..im just trying to understand better what my cousin is going through right now
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No I was mad at myself.
He suffered for over 15 years with a bad heart. He had two open heart surgeries and over a dozen heart attacks.
I hated myself cause his last day alive he looked awful! Couldn't hardly stand or talk due to shortness of breath. I thought "ah, I'll talk to him tomorrow" about 10 hours later I was woke up at 2am and told I needed to get to the hospital. I got there and seen all my family (aunts&uncles) he died before I could say goodbye. I just cried and cried by his side as he laid there on the hospital bed. It's the worst pain my heart has ever felt. So bad. To this day I still hate myself for not saying "goodbye dad, I love you. See ya tomorrow"
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lenaE14
i see
thanx
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So now I always make a point to leave nothing unsaid. Cause we're not promised a tomorrow:(
Your question was fine. But I do know some people get angry when loved ones dies. Especially if its suicide. That's really hard to deal with
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Yw:)
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lenaE14
"leave nothing unsaid" ill think about that
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Words I live by:)
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All you can really tell them is how sorry you are. I know that when my daddy died, I didn't really hear much. You sort of go into a fog. I do remember the people who told me stories about things my father had done for them, and it touched me to know that his life enriched many more lives than just those of his family.

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lenaE14
thank you
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nothing it will only cause them more pain

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Yes, you're so right
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lenaE14
okay
should i hug them or something?
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Yes huh them. Tell them "I'm here for you"
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*hug
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lenaE14
thanx
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I have not had a mother or father die, but my best friend's mother died recently, and I had no idea what to say to her. But I was there for her so she could talk to me if she wanted to, and if it felt like she didn't want me to be sympathetic at that moment, then I did the best I could to cheer her up. I acted as we normally would before her mother died. Its really hard because I was fond of her mother too, but we struggled through together. Just support that person in anyway that you can.

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lenaE14
thanx
you sound like a really good friend
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Great answer!
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Just be there fir them the less said the better

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lenaE14
thanx
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joshuabagel

Words quite often won't be necessary for you, show your love and understanding, and that they have a friend that truly cares

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lenaE14
good answer
thanx
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joshuabagel
when I was in 11th grade my friend allys father died of a brain aneurysm, all I could do was give her a hug and listen
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Just say your sorry for their loss ....
Thats pretty much all you can say in a moment like that

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lenaE14
okay
thanx
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Well I just go up to them and hug them for a LONG TIME then tell them I?m so sorry and cry with them and tell them to be strong. People who lost a parent need comforting...

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