do I have an eating disorder?
I always find myself skipping meals. or getting out of dinner by saying "I'm not hungry" even when I really am. whenever I do eat I feel guilty and fat. I hate myself, especially how I look. I was talking to my friend last night and she asked what I ate that day. I told her a bowl of cereal and four chips. she said that the fact that I remember exactly how many chips I ate was kind of scary. she also pointed out that I ate practicly nothing that day. she asked me if I had a mild eating disorder because I don't eat breakfast, I don't like to eat lunch, and I hardly ever eat dinner. I didn't know what to tell her, I'm scared of stopping my bad eating habits because I want progress I want to lose weight. so I lied and told her I just don't like to eat in front of people. after that conversation I went online and did two hours worth of research about eating disorders, anorexia being the one I focused on. I'm losing a lot of focus at school and my usually really good grades are slipping. I do have a problem with self harming due to how I feel about myself. I think I might have an eating disorder, but I want others oppinions. the scary part? I kinda hope I do. even scarier? I like it. it gives me controll and satisfication. do you think I have an eating disorder? I really need someone else' oppinion. thank you.