it depends, what exactly do you believe the issue is? jealousy? maybe his personality doesnt click with yours? Past bad experience? You think maybe hes feeling neglected by his biological parent now that your in the picture?
Stepchildren are very capable of destroying a marriage with very little effort. It is too bad that his father does not get involved to become a peacemaker. You need to be fully honest with your husband to see if he is interested in salvaging your marriage. You cannot solve it alone and the longer the friction goes on, the more permanent the damage will be.
Definantly don't do something and not tell your spose because the kid's parents should know about this and your husband /wife would get super P.O.ed if they knew you did something involving their kid but yeah i for kicking him out a counsler is a waste of money if you can just kick him out
I think what marebear said is the best... That way your spouse realizes that you are trying.. and if the stepson dont want to go then you talk to your spouse about getting him out because he dont even want to try and work on it ;))
When you get married, part of your vows state that you put your spouse first, before others. If your husband/wife is allowing this 19 yr old to disrespect you or puts the boy before you, then they're not honoring their vows. So, you have to work this out with your mate. To stop the son's behavior you two MUST be united on behavior expections. You two need to let the son know you're married, and he better respect this. If your spouse won't do this, or puts the kid before you, you'll have some decisions to make. Good luck.