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When will my birth mom want to contact me? see details

I was adopted from Romania 17 years ago. I now live in the US. I have been searching for my birth mom for 6 years. I finally found my birth family. I keep in contact with them on Facebook. everyone except my birth mom. apparently when she was 7 months pregnant with me her and my birth father got in a bad car accident which killed my birth father. she is gay and is very scared. I do accept her, she is my mother. but why is she scared and why won't she contact me?

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maybe she feels bad about giving you up or she might think that you might do some thing bad because she adopted you out?

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she still loves you. you should make the first step ad contact her

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I've tried. She says she doesn't want contact now. She's scared :(
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well keep trying. you just do not want to be to pushy. Its probably hard for her to. Eventually she will talk to you it will just take her time. She might not be as emotionally ready as you.
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Thanks
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Ellipsical

We don't know why. Sometimes biological mothers don't want contact with their offspring. It may just be too difficult for her. It sounds like that was a traumatic time in her life.

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A mother will NEVER stop loving her child, no matter time or boundaries. She is more than likely insecure about your feelings about her decision. It's difficult to understand, but at this point, be the "bigger" person and find her. Ask her. LISTEN to her before you judge her!

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Julia, you have a kind heart and are trying to help, but your assumption that all mothers love their offspring.
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Julia, you have a naive, isolated, unworldly, and very romantic view of motherhood. Lots of mothers are pregnant reluctantly and do not want their babies. Where do you think criminals come from? Some mothers batter their children half to death, or to death or starve them entirely. There is a nice girl in my class whose mother pushed her three daughters out the door because the new boyfriend hates kids and so does she. You sound like Polyanna when you make statements like that one.
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When will people wake up and smell the bacon, not all human mothers are good mothers, want to be mothers, or love their children! I get so frustrated with this silly idealism, it just isn't true. Because we are born with ovaries, a uterus, and breasts does not mean we have the mothering instinct. This woman does not want to see her offspring, there is nothing this lovely offspring can do about it, stop encouraging her to pursue this woman, she'll just get hurt! Stop it! The woman is not interested in her offspring. Romanian, for some reason your birth mother doesn't want to know you, it's not your fault--she doesn't know you. Stay away from her, she's bad news and you'll only find heartbreak and rejection there. Find someone else to fill the hole in your heart, there are plenty of humans ready to love you with a fierceness that will warm your heart. I'm sorry, but that's the truth.

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Great answer.
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Thank you. Good to see you heree.
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