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Any funny jokes?

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You wanna hear about my new cat? Just kitten

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lol thats great
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Lowheadroom
Ooooooohhhhh.
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Lol
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Rodgertal

I forgot to imaginarily water the artificial flowers

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A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?"

The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"

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SuperGeek64

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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took me time but lol
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. haha get it not a bar, a bra... hes dyslexic
A rope walks into a bar and the bartender says "we dont serve ropes here." The rope walks out, ties himself into a knot and frays both ends. He walks back into the bar. The bartender says "Weren't you just in here?" and the rope says " I'm a frayed knot" haha get it... hes afraid not, a frayed knot

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Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap. Psychiatrist says," Sir, I can clearly see you're nuts."


What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.


What did Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common?
They both had Kurds in their way.

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Thanks, I tried to get a variety of jokes :)
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Why didn't the bear cross the road

Because he was beary scared

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Me: will u kno me in a day
Bf: yea
Me: will u kno me in a week
Bf: yea
Me: will u kno me in a year
Bf : yea
Me: will u kno me in ten years
Bf: yea
Me: knock knock
Bf: whos there
Me: u already forgot me

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Lol yeA
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Sweetxx_Grl

A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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What's white on to and black on bottom?? Haha...society.

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Wow... that's so racist
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How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper! Lol :)

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