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Buttercup_

Do you think slapping and spanking your child should be illegal?

i do i think it's awful slapping and spanking in attempt to cause pain even just a little pain it's sick and i will use nothing but positive reinforcement (unless they like hit someone for no good reason or killed someone) when i have kids

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I have 5 children and I rarely spank them put sometimes as a parent u have 2 like when I caught my son
playing with matches after the second time I caught him after talking to him about the danger he did it again I spanked his butt and never had that problem again

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When they do something that will endanger their lives or others, I feel it is certainly okay to spank them.
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Good use. But you gotta make sure there's no anger there and you must let them know you truly do Love them.
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YES! it should be considered child abuse!

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You must not be a parent
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Somebody wasn't spanked as a kid or hated their parents because of a spanking. The do it cause they Love you otherwise they are terrible parents who don't know how to raise people right. You gotta do it but with the right attitude.
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I disagree, I NEVER spank my children! They just get grounded or I tell them no, and explain what they did wrong and why they shouldn't do it. Spanking hurts and can czar your children. Not on the outside, but on the inside.
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That works for older kids but younger kids don't understand that... Younger kids need to understand that a spanking is simple small but should be feared just alittle.
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Oh wow really. I know I'm too old and I'm being spanked and it doesn't break my heart or hurt my feelings. It just p*sses me off lol
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A good age to stop is 15. Anything under is still a kid and over that they might as well just take it... it loses meaning at that age... Too big a tolerance. If there was one thing I would wish for its I would want everyone to understand spankings properly. If they did things would be alot better of... Crime would go down child abuse would go down respect would go up total number of spankings would go down.
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I think if you use slapping, on the hand, as a punishment only. To say, get the childs' attention when they won't listen to you, is fine. Spanking a child on the butt, is also fine.

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Yep well said 100%
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Star
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Have you ever heard some shut someone up from screaming by slapping them in the face and saying "get ahold of yourself". I've seen it once or twice and it works really well.
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Yes.... I do. A person should never hit another person. A BIG person hitting a little tiny person is even worse. Even though it is suppose to be discipline, it often times gets WAY out hand.
More often than not, a child is spanked for doing something wrong. A child will not do anything wrong if the parent is around to guide them through life like they are suppose to. Redirect a childs behaviour. Dont beat them because you didnt turn off the tv to tend to them.

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Dalton63842
"A child will not do anything wrong if the parent is around to guide them through life like they are supposed to."
It is SOOO cute that you believe that! All children, every single one, will push the boundaries of the rules you have set, and test to see where the line is drawn... that is just part of the childhood experience.
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Wow... Not true. Sorry you believe the way you do. I guess since I am older than you, I have seen more than you.
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Children are what you make them.
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Dalton63842
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you think I'm one of the 13 year olds on here. I'm also going to go ahead and assume you either have no children, or they are all self-righteous pains like the rest of the current generation.
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Hey buddy I was a great kid and didn't do hardly anything wrong and out of no way I started doing things totally out of character. I stole 3 tiny things as a 9 year old. I was a shining little church boy with bright blond hair dimples and adorable green eyes, I was cute and quite and I had a soft smooth voice and I was still human. Humans are still flawed.
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Dalton..... I never assumed you were 13. I would also appreciate you NOT assuming I have no children. I have 5 kids. They are all good kids and have never had to spank them or beat them at all.
Being a grown up means you have to try to be grown up. Be smarter than the child. When an adult hits a child it is because they are NOT smarter than the child.
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Yes I believe in spanking a child on the Butt.... It's nothing wrong with it ... And I do pop my babies hands and tell them no ... But ppl take it to far when getting belts that's child abuse

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I completely agree cali83. I had temporary custody of my nephew for 6 months. And it broke my heart more than his when I had to spank him on the butt one day.
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That's more like farm/ranch style. My mom has 2 paddles. 1 for her purse (used alot more then the other one sadly...) and one for the house. Hehe it's like a phone!
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Btw what do he do?
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Tried pulling the TV over on himself, more than once. Time out didn't work. And I obviously couldn't let him pull the TV over. So I spanked it. Swatted him on his diaper. He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes and started crying. I had to go in the other room so I didn't cry. Needless to say, that's the only time I have ever laid my hands on a child. And hopefully will have to.
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*it should be him.
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You shouldn't have left. You should have held him and let him know you didn't want to but he need to learn but most of all you did it cause you Loved him.
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I have 4 kids and you can ask any parent even one kid you can't always keep your eyes on them... Trust me there fast and when ppl say you should have been watching them you must not be a parent
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I was saying take care of them after a spanking or they'll go of gripping behind your back...
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what is the diffence between cause pain by belt on but or by hand pain is pain has no gain
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The difference is a swat on the butt, or beating them with a belt. Two completely different things.
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ok, how? inlighten me
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The butt is like an air bag it's going to cause lasting damage unless you are an idiot who can't hold back. A Martial artist knows how to break a wooden table with one blow but they also know how to hit it equally hard without even scratching it. Hitting with control is not a hard feat but forcing yourself to punish someone you Love is very hard. Both should be done.
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Dalton63842

Slapping yes, spanking, when done appropriately, no. Positive enforcement is great, but sadly it is not an end all, be all discipline tool. I was spanked as a child, and I turned out to be a pretty great guy, and MOST adults over 25 will say the same. The having been said, you will notice I said appropriately up there... Wailing on your kid is inexcusable, but schools issue paddlings and so do I, when absolutely necessary.

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Both are consider child abuse. And it should be illegal. Too many parents get away with it. It causes more drama, more slapping, more shouting, more hitting/spanking and it gets out of control. The child will not behave, simply take the child outside and talk with the child. Slapping the child on the hand does a lot of nerve damage when slapped too hard and every time when the child fears he/she does something wrong he/she will be spanked for it, it is much better to explain to the child what he/she did. It keeps the communication open and the fear will disappear. And the anixety for the child will get a lot better also.

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Dalton63842
DFS has a really awesome seminar on why this does not work.its called the "little adult" approach.
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hmmmmm........already thought it was. told the new thang is this time out deal on punishment, which don't work. go back to the good ol' days during my youth where your mother would beat the hell out of you like mine did me. you would walk a fine line.

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Hell yeah!!! I hate these days for too many reasons and lack of respect for that stuff is a big one.
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no... That's what they all say... Till they have kids...

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Absolutely NOT. I was spanked when I was a kid and I turned out just fine. These days most parents can barely control their children. And do you know why? Because They do not spank. PS: spank your children out of love not while your angry.

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Good answer... But I think spanking for discipline will get you in less trouble than spanking a child out of love would...
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That's what I mean
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Lol Doctor.. xD
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You discipline them because you love them. To show them the right way is good and the wrong way is bad.
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I agree with you 100% LPT. I just got the words wrong.
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Yeah I noticed so had to correct that. Don't want people thinking creepy fetishes.......
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That depends on if you're talking about simple discipline, or to the point if child abuse. It says in the Bible, spare the rod, spoil the child. That don't mean to beat them senseless. It just means simple discipline. I don't think slapping on the face is an ok thing, though.

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If they are screaming at the top of there lungs and squirming cause you said no to ice cream and they want out of a spanking a slap on the face is your only bet on calming them down. My sister did that and she sounded possessed or something...
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Spanking is but a from of correcting your child and even the bible is for it. I mean if you look through the bible you'll find alot of peace and how to treat people properly and don't be mean and don't do bad but rarely do you see something that says make sure those kids are afraid of doing bad things. Just a thought. Anyway as for slapping. I've seen my dad do it twice in my life and my sister got what she deserved... She was screaming about not getting ice cream and would not calm down for anything she even said stuff like "I hate you", frankly I Love my little sister Becca and think everyone else here deserves worse but my dad is probably the closest thing I've ever seen to a perfect earthly father. Sometimes I think I'd make a horrible father and that might be true but I'm reminded by what I know about my dad about my morals and my "singular type" for Loving people. I'm a very one on one person and I keep my friendship sacred. I don't know...

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You will know what to do when the time comes. Very rarely does a child of a good parent have to be spanked-but it does happen sometimes like you said.
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Oh I'm not afraid of spanking I'm afraid my legacy might bring more racism, homosexuality and poor judgement... I am naturally racist sadly... My eyes just pick up unwanted signals when I see black people. I'm not mean or treat them differently but I don't make great friends with them and most the time I think they're ugly thus the aren't the subject of my conversations. As for the homo thing I'm afraid sense I wondered when I was young that my offspring would two... And then there's the fact that I am too judgmental at times.
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Tamaukim, you are very smart. I get the same fears all the time. But you just have to remember that if you believe in God, he'll watch over you and your family.
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Tamayuki I mean...
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Yeah I know he has me in his arms I'd have to pull some extra weight because of what our country is turning into. But I'm a tough cookie!
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Yep. It's quite tragic.
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How dare you say the Bible is for spanking you need to stop trieng to twist the scriptures and read where it talks about liars and falks prophets going to hell
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No it says false prophets and it says they will lead people astray. Even though I know they will I don't think it states them going to hell. How odd... Any the bible speaks of the rod of correction which is much more painful...
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Spare the rod (the rod is the Bible and disipline) spoil the child. (the child will spoil as far as like rotten milk this means not a Christian), but beat the child (beat scriputres in his head verbaly by teaching him about God) and he will not die. (die as far as going to hell not actual death kind of like in John 3:16 when it says "for God so loved the world he gave his only son that whoever belives in him shall not DIE but have everlasting life). That is what the scripture "spare the rod" means. Jesus loved children and said "let the children come to me for thiers is the kingdom of heaven." the Bible also talks about bieng like a child and having the faith of a child. Why should you hit somthing God said to be like i dont know. Spanking is not in the Bible. God said that people who harm little children it is better they tie a mill stone around thier neck and be cast into the sea.
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as you go on in the Bible it talk about walking and talking with your child on the road and in the home ect. every day. this follows the same subject as the true meaning of "spare the rod" and that is you must teach your child about God or he will go to hell like the Bible says if you love your child you will not spare the rod of spiritual instuction
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i would also like to apoligize for any misunderstanding i did not intend to call you a false phrophet it was hypothetical for christans who preach a message od spanking
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Just going to say this for others sake and your own. You shouldn't say someone's a false prophet unless you have proof. Otherwise that would make you a false witness which is also bad...
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By chance were you raised in a good home because I grew up with a spanking as my punishment and you know what very important thing I learned? I learned that when I'm doing something wrong there are usually consequences but I can learn from my actions. A punishment is to be learned from if you outlaw punishment, the people will once again weaken morally... I honestly like the Japanese school punishment. If they do something bad they stand by the door holding full buckets of water.
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Apparently you don't have children yet and you or a friend just got spanked...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with administering a judicious spanking when needed. Where people err is when they talk about it like its a last resort. You spank BEFORE you get angry. My daughter knew I would tell her something twice and if she didn't listen I would pop her butt. I only had to do it once for her to find I meant what I said. Slapping hands is also okay... You make the punishment fit the crime. As for slapping faces? No, there are other ways to handle mouthiness and the chance of an accidental injury is greater.
The biggest issue with kids today is they know their parents don't mean what they say and if they can whine, complain or have enough temper tantrums, they will get their way.

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All I can add is that I got a few spankings as a child, along with an explanation as to why , so far I have not turned into a serial killer, sociopath ,etc. and have led a fairly normal and productive life as a contributing member of society. In my view, a properly administered spanking is not an evil or harmful act, just responsible parenting, laying the foundation for a child to recognize that every act has consequences.

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As long as it's with their hand, and on the booty I think it shouldn't be illegal. All of my friends that had spanking as a punishment when they were younger are my better friends. They're more respectful (especially the guys), and just really nice in general. Same with younger kids I know that had it as a punishment. They always seem to be a lot more respectful and they mind their manners.

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i dont understand why you think it is ok to touch a childs butt, a butt is a privet part and hitting it is the same as hitting the childs front privet parts
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No, it isn't. And I'm not saying grope your childs butt, I'm saying that I think it's okay to use spanking, but as a last resort. If you think of spanking like that, I think there's something wrong. I was expressing my opinion, if you don't like it, don't comment. Especially with such silly notions as those.
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Good luck with the only positive reinforcement thing, I've only seen that make spoiled brats. A butt spanking and occasional swat of the hand are not child abuse, and cause more of a surprise to the system than actual pain. And if your intention is to cause pain, your starting on the wrong foot to begin with and should probably give yourself a time out before dealing with the child.

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You have to decide if you want your child to be afraid of you or trust you. Spanking and hitting does not build trust, it only induces fear and distrust. No matter what anyone else says, the child will hate you for hitting them, even if they say they don't.

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Sorry, wrong. Beatings, yes but proper punishment? Nope. My daughter and I get along beautifully and she keeps wanting to ship coworkers kids to me for retraining.
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Everyone is entitled to their opinion and you cannot say I cannot have my opinion. Sorry.
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Mama it's people like you that do not know how to raise kids right and its cause of that that our country is getting worse... Please if you will read the whipping boy it might change your mind. I just finished it btw its only like 20 short 2 page chapters long.
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You do not have to hit a child, in order to give them guidelines. You and I will just have to agree to disagree. Put downs do not make your opinion correct.
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I'm not going to agree to disagree hear this is vital to children and adults... Kids need to know what punishment is and I'm not talking go play their Ds in there room after hitting their sister. I'm talking a simple pattling on their but to make them understand getting into the ice cream when you already told them no is bad. I agree people take it too far but these days most people don't do it at all and most kids don't understand truly what it's about... No punishment, too harsh punishment and lack of understanding of what it's for cause all this to repeat itself... Do you know how working out works? You hurt your muscles and the get bigger its the same thing. You spank your kid and tell him what it's for and learns. The best way I've found to learn is through pain. I mean how did you learn your boyfriend was a jerk face by him dumping you.
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mamatembo53 i was spanked and i dont hate my parents however, I dont trust them and i do not want to work to build a relationship with them. I dont want to tell them my troubles or fears. I feel like if I do somthing wrong i am worthless. I know all people make mistakes but i have been taught that mistakes make you worthless by the abuse i faced all my life
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That's not proper parenting that's them not spanking you right... I could do the same thing without spanking and you'd end up the same way. I always saw it that if a spanking is going to keep me on the right track then so be it.
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1467803

i believe it is ok, though you should try to use other reinforcement if possible. also, spanking is not ok if the wrong attitude is used by the parent.

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it should not be if they do something wrong, they should be punished and disciplined; it teaches them manners and respect. that's what's wrong with all the kids these days, no respect, discipline, or manners.

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No. They need to learn a lesson for what they've done wrong and if they make it illegal children these days will never be taught right, will they?

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learning can be taught other ways than pain and rejection
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it should be i am a teacher and i know that the more a parrent spanks the more misbehaved the child will be when left with me there parents are gone so they try to cram as much childhood in as they can before they go back home and are hit for it i know manny parents who cant make thier own child obey and others also cant yet when i tell them do do somthing however, they do it as i said becuse they know they will have to have a timeout. they respect me say please thank you and even yes ma'am i dont have to force them to do it they do it on thier own when i say stop it happens then and there

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I only spanked my son once when he was two. My daughter never. I had normal children who would try and misbehave but after that and I would ask my kids if they needed a spanking to stop the bad behavior and somehow they always listened and stopped what they were being warned about. My daughter was always good though she did have a strong will which I encouraged as long as it wasn't disrespectful.

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that is great stong willed people make world leaders becuse they can stand up when the world knocks them down and say just watch me when the world says they cant
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I wouldn't do it to my kids but I survived it and I think I turned out pretty good

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You could always just do it softer or harder if you want. I mean its alot easier to know something's bad if there are consequences.
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Yes but I dont want my children to associate consequences with physical pain. I would rather them know it mentally.
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Great more mental pain for our children... At this rate the other 10% of this country will be on antidepressants...
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I think if a "normal" child is raised correctly, physical pain shouldn't be necessary. I do believe that you should allow a child to express their feelings to an extent, but I feel when you are angry with them and express it by hitting them, you are essentially telling them that it's OK to hit someone when you have those feelings. I do feel that this "time out" nowadays is a bunch of crap for the most part and is no different than putting a dunce cap on a child back in the day. I was never hit as a child, because I was told calmly how sad and disappointed my parents were with me and my behavior. That was way worse for me than any spanking and that was in the 60's.

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