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All > Humor & Amusement

sweetybell: 6 months ago

I'm really bored, can you please tell me some funny jokes

and please don't try and be smart and say yes or no, thank you

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Answer 1

preppyboy: 6 months ago

Why did santa have his balls removed? because he carried his sack over his shoulder for too long (i'm sorry, i had to give a dirty one)

A magician is on a cruise liner, everyday he does a show, unfortuantly, the captains parrot sees and memorizes all his tricks, and starts telling everyone the secrets in them, unfortunatly, the magician cant do anything about this, because its the captains parrot. well, the boat sinks, and as fate would have it, the parrot and magician end up on a piece of driftwood together, after about a week of floating, the parrot looks over and says, "okay, i give up, where did you put the dam boat"

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CarlosVillegas: 6 months ago

Hahahahah XD

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sweetybell: 6 months ago

Sorry but I don't get the second one and the fist one I really thought was hilarious :D

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preppyboy: 6 months ago

the parrot didnt know the boat sank so he though the magician made it disappear

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sweetybell: 6 months ago

Oh now I get it;)

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Answer 2

CarlosVillegas: 6 months ago

Your mom is so fat she uses cheat codes on Wii fit.

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preppyboy: 6 months ago

haha

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Answer 3

coolspot: 6 months ago

One day a college professor was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron,
and if they were, they should stand.

After a minute a young man stood up.
The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.
The kid replied,
'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'

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preppyboy: 6 months ago

i really love that one, i have heard it before and forgot all about it until now

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mandy5421: 5 months ago

awesome joke! Hahahahahha!

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Answer 4

ScaryHobo: 6 months ago via iPhone

Yo momma sooo big NASA decided to orbit a satellite around her.
Yo momma so big when she waddled in front of the television I missed 3 seasons of Lost

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Answer 5

packerbacker69: 6 months ago

No

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Answer 6

WeaveInWeavePap: 6 months ago

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I DON'T KNOW. HE COULDN'T OPEN IT!

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ScaryHobo: 6 months ago via iPhone

Why not?

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Answer 7

cutsandscars: 6 months ago

No!

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Answer 8

Ohmigoodness: 6 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 9:05PM on 11/25/2012

A man walks in to a bar, a woman in a booth has no arms or legs is crying. The man walks up and asks "why are you crying?" The woman replies "I've never been hugged before." So the man picks her up and hugs her, then sets her down. She continues to cry, so the man says "Why are you still crying?" The woman replies "I've never been kissed before." So the man picks her up and kisses her, then sets her down. The woman continues to cry, the man says "Why are you still crying for?" The woman replies "I've never been screwed before." The man picks her up, takes her to an ocean, and proceeds to throw her in. The man says "You're screwed now!"

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