i am sorry for your loss. i don't know your situation, but it could have been far worse if there were children involved. no child should have to endure losing a father in that very emotionally sad and dark way.
1 year ago
Last edited at 3:29PM on 11/29/2012
Time has a way of bringing back traumatic events from the past if we didn't deal with them properly to begin with. You were only 18. He was young too so he could have had some serious depression issues that show up severely at that age. Now you have the maturity level to deal with this, so I suggest you talk to a therapist or good friend. You'll never know the real answer, but I can guarantee you he wasn't in his right mind. Even if he had an argument with someone, I don't think he really understood what he was doing...especially in the area in which he didn't think through what it would do to you and his family. Talk this out with someone who can give you plenty of time to talk. I know how you feel. I'm so sorry.
My wife passed away dec. 18, 2000. It took me about 5 years to get over it. I realized that she would not want me to be miserable for the rest of my life. She did not want me to become a empty shell of what I was when we were together. You need to grieve and also get angry. His action was selfish and you are paying the price. Forgive him and please try to move on. Life is to short to carry this burden. Good luck.
If he didn't leave a note with some sort of explanation, it is hard to tell. Some people have a chemical imbalance in their brain that can easily be treated with medication. It takes a little time to get the dosage titrated to the right level. It usually starts out too high and they feel they can't function, so they stop taking it. If they are bipolar, they can enter a deep depression from which they don't see a way out. Sad thing is, there was nothing you or any other lay person could have done to prevent this. They are good actors and can mask the warning signs. He was aware that he was going to hurt you, that's why he said not to be sad, but that doesn't help.
Maybe something bothered him , or he was depressed about smth he couldn't tell his family members .. But I don't think it's because of you he asked you to marry him .. He surely loved you It's good you are remembering him , but don't think to deep about it it wasn't your fault