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Please read, this is taring me up inside!

so I recently started smoking and I asked my boyfriend how he felt about it and he said that he didn't particularly like it but he wasn't going to stop me. well, a few days ago we where talking on FaceTime and he started talking about the fact that I smoke and the end result was him asking me to stop, well I really wanted to say I would for him but I really don't want to stop so I said no, then he started crying, sense we where FaceTiming I could literally see tears running down his face, it hurt me so much to see him like that so I finally said that I would stop, but I still really don't want to, how can I tell him that I'm gonna keep smoking without hurting him too much? (also, I used to cut my wrists but he stopped me from doing that as well) [stoping is not an option just to let you guys know]

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It's obviously not tearing you up enough. Smoking is disgusting. I can't blame your boyfriend for not liking it. I dated a couple guys in highschool who smoked, told them I didn't like it, and ended up leaving them because they have rights to do as they please. BUT I also have a right, to kiss someone who doesn't taste like an ash tray.

Helpful (6) Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (21)
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Well it's taring me up enough that I almost started cutting again, which is a whole lot worse to him and me than smoking!
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Get help. Mental help.
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I don't think she needs mental help I she should choose to pick herself up. Otherwise she's just gonna be on a crutch her whole life cause she doesn't know how to do anything on her own.
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Mental help for cutting. She needs a psychiatrist. If she's ever going to get over that. She can't keep throwing that in people's faces everytime she doesn't get her way.
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Shut up! It's none of you're business to tell me how to live MY life ok?
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You asked for advice, I have the rights, to tell you what I think. If you don't like the advice, just ignore it.
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Cj, I didn't mean that to you, I meant the other person!
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I'm not forcing you and apparently neither can you. You making bad choices is your own fault I'm telling you what's good heck I'm not even shoving the gospel down your throat... You can fix this or ruin it its your choice but your boyfriend won't stay the same forever.
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Ok!
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Although I would Love to hear your choice. And reason for doing so.
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My choice is to beg and beg and beg him to forgive me "but I can't stop smoking, if I do, I will end up hurting myself worse than I ever have and I know you would hate that even more than me smoking" or something like that!
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My reason for doing so is in my choice!
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There are two people in a relationship sweetie. And while you do have your choice about certain things, so does he. So if you are going to chose to smoke, be prepared for him to leave you.
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You know what LovingPrince, I'm sorry for saying those mean things about you, I now realize that in the long run you have been very helpful and I thank you for it!
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Part of a relationship, is giving and taking. Compromise.
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I understand that! And he has already told me that he won't make me stop doing anything and if I choose not to stop he will be upset but accept it and forgive me!
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Thank you and I'm sorry for being hard to work with. I wish you the best and I want you to know that there is more to you then smokes and cuts. You are a shining diamond that wants to shine but you think it's to hard. And what you choose effects that diamond in the long run... Whether you give it up or keep doing it.
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It's totally fine, I'm used to hard to work with people, my boyfriend is sometimes one if them lol! Thank you very much!
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Anytime. And if you want to talk just ask and we can talk how ever you want except in person because I don't drive don't want to drive and have bad lungs...
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Lol ok!
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Well it's 4:00am where I am so I bettor go to sleep now! I'll talk to you tomorrow I guess!
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Well smoking is bad for you. And more importantly, expensive. On another note, I love profile picture.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (38)
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I know that, I specifically said in my question that stoping is not an option, I just want to know how I can handle it with my bf! Haha thanks by the way, my two nicknames are actually Tonks from Harry Potter and Raven from Teen Titans lol!
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Me too , miss teen titans :'[
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It was the best show at the time. And well even though its not an option, you should quit anyways.
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Can you just please answer the question that I asked?
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Well idk. Just say I love you, but I love smoking too.
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TT is awesome! And honestly I think your only options are try and make him cry by telling him, break up with someone that cares more for you then you do about yourself and for him... Or give up smoking. Your choice.
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Thanks!
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Me or someone else?
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MaleTayTay
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I would never say thank you to you, you're comments have been very rude and offensive!
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I'm sorry. I just a Tobacco free world! Is that so much to ask??
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Yes, yes it is!
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Honey I'm not going to sprinkle sugar on my words right now because you need a better view on life. What I said was true and helpful but you don't want to see that so you don't. Your boyfriend cries cause he Loves you and knows what's best for you but how do you repay him? I want to show you Love but the last person that did that to you ended up in tears. You aren't the only one with problems but you asked for help but didn't want it so I sense that you either like hearing yourself talk or wanted someone to say he is wrong. If you think I'm wrong then go right ahead and tell me if you can! I have my own problems yet I got passed them and I would say they were harder then yours but I know how to stand myself up and prove that I can go the right way even when it's always hard.
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I know everyone els has problems too, that's why they ask questions on here just like I did! I'm sorry for whatever you went through and I'm sure it was harder than this!
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And I did to want help, but only a few people are answering the question that I actually asked!
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I answered it. I'm thankful for you saying that my problem has worth but frankly I would have preferred you defending your right to disagreeing with my problems worth over your own. You should have said "my problem is so much more stressful then your pretty little splinter of a problem! You have no idea of how much pain I'm in you spoiled fancy white guy that has everything go his way!!!" Btw most of that isn't true but I wanted to over dramatize the scene.
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Well I'm sorry if I'm not a mean person!
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I didn't say you had to be mean just tough enough to disagree with my heartless statement. Honestly I'm surprized you didn't hit me and say What do you know?! I'm glad you are nice but standing up for yourself when you have no reason to believe I have a tough life is what you should have thought of. Ps I Live a happy but hard life.
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Ok, I can accept that! I have problems sticking up for myself! I'm glad you're life isn't shity or anything!
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Well it is but I can smile and that's what gets me through each day.
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That's understandable!
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If you wanna know I'm an open book.
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That's fine, if there is anything you want to tell me go ahead buy I won't ask you about you're life! :)
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I don't think it's fair I know your problem and you don't know mine. That means I can learn from your mistakes but you can't learn from mine. That's my point.
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Ok well, just start talking I guess, I don't have any questions about you're life so just shoot!
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Well I don't want to bore you with a story about me losing my only friend if you don't care to ask for it.
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How did you loose you're only friend?
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I was a confused teen and thought I liked guys so I told him I liked him... He couldn't talk to me for afew weeks... I ended up egging him on and he yelled at me that he didn't know what to do with me... We talked later how I found out how stupid I was for thinking that and I told him I would never be able to forgive myself but he said stop your annoying pitty party and stop being so clingy you aren't my best friend! I have lots of other friends that don't whine about their problems all day long! I forgave you already and I tried to make it up to you but all the did in return is kept blaming yourself and stayed just as clingy... And we talked maybe twice since then and it was me asking if I'm still his friend and no reply but I asked if he really meant it when he forgave me and he said "yes". It's been 6 years since we met and 4 since we started fighting... I saw him in summer but I was so embarrassed of looking stupid that I couldn't say anything without turning red and stuttering while I look down as you touched my nervous shaking hand to let me into the amusement park he just so happened to get a job at the first time I ever go there... I don't feel that way about him but I hate looking like a pitiful loser and its worse when I still see him as my best friend and so I care about what he thinks of me...
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Wow. I'm so sorry! Something almost exactly like that happened with my best friend and I! Except now we are back to being best friends, in fact, he is my boyfriend.
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The difference is that I regret none of it. But I'm glad I am different from then.
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Well I'm glad if you're glad! :)
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I promised long ago that I wouldn't regret or wish. And that's because I believe that God's perfect plan included my painful life lesson.
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That's very knowledgable!
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Oh yeah you know what was really scary the other day? My mom (Christian for the past 30 some years) told me she feels bad that life could be so much easier if we didn't believe... I told her I agree but I don't want easy I want what's best for me and that is always the harder choice... I told her to believing that is fine if she wants to be my enemy. I stand firm believing what I did was wrong and I will phyisically fight anyone who wants to tell me otherwise.
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Thank you. I hope you learned something from that.
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Good for you!
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Well it's 4:00am where I am so I need to go to sleep lol! I'll talk to you tomorrow I guess!
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Alright and it's 3:00 am here so I understand. Ttyl. : ) good night and God bless you.
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your going to lose him so you better stop and why did you cut yourself it has no since into it and plus your killing yourself inside and out and the more you smoke the less years your going to have with your boyfriend!!!!!!!!!

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (30)
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Because I'm depressed and suicidal!
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well take meds for that!!!!!!
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I would if I could but my parents don't believe me when I tell them so they won't do anything to help!
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You don't need meds you know Love. Ask your parents to hug you and hold you and kiss you on the head a nice 20 minute squeeze is more real help then all the drugs in the world.
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Yeah well they won't! My boyfriend does all the time and yeah it does help a lot, but it doesn't last!
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Cutting and smoking don't either but they last longer!
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Longer and more frequent hugs and kisses. Ps if they won't then they don't Love you and you shouldn't say that unless you know. Besides there bond to be a family somewhere that Loves you.
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Haha ok! And yeah, sometimes I really wonder if they do, I've also contemplated running away but I don't really have anywhere to go!
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Ask them and tell them to show you. If you run away tell them to take you to a place where you can be Loved by someone that is capable of showing you till you feel it.
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It doesn't mater, I'll just suck it up till I see my boyfriend, he always comforts me when it comes to my family! Thanks though!
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You should ask them anyway.
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No, it always ends with screaming and crying and I can't handle to go through that of my own free will!
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You can hug them if they cry. The most helpful person is the helpless one.
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No, I'm always the one crying and they are always the ones screaming!
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That can change. You should try I'm only asking you try once.
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No, I'm sorry but I can't! My friends convinced me to tell my parents that I'm depressed and $uicldle but it played out exactly like I thought it would, and a bunch of other stuff like that has happened and I always saw the outcome coming!
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What was their reaction? How did they feel on the inside? How do they feel? Do you think they might be acting tough on you to help you like I am?
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No because they where being stupid and completely disregarding the fact that I came to them with a problem! They said "oh it just you're period" "everyone go's through a spell of sadness" "you don't even know what depression is" "you just need to eat more" "you're just tired" shit like that!
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Honestly that's teen life for yuh... And frankly they sound to me like what I was saying about standing up for yourself instead of smokes cuts and me ruling over you. They could care more but there isn't much to be done except learn to trust them more ask them for wisdom and Love. But I think out of all of this you should be more optimistic. If need be use me as a block to get over things by saying "what would Josh do here" frankly it's easier to become something if you have a model of what you want.
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WWJD huh? Lol!
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Well it's 4:00am where I am so I should be going to sleep now! I'll talk to you tomorrow I guess!
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I noticed that after I said it... But frankly am I wrong? I don't know. Maybe it could help or maybe you'd be better off in Jesus' hands. I think you would but I don't know if you'd be will to try that.
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Maybe! I'm very religious!
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What religion?
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Oops, I meant to say that I'm not very religious! I don't really have a religion at the moment but I'm considering Catholicism!
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Honestly if I had two options 1 being Catholic and 2 being AG Christian, I would choose AG Christian first because they're Christians that make being Loving and friendly into one of their main focus'. Catholic is alittle up tight and the will teach wrong things alot (mainly with the prayer to Mary, the Pope and other church leaders...). Other then that I don't see much wrong with them but there are parts of the bible that they just don't care about listening to... I suggest you find a Christian church. Aslong as its not Joel Osteen or west borrow baptist you should be fine... But knowing your problem I suggest finding an AG.
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Personally, Catholicism suits me best! Plus my boyfriend is catholic and we would be going to the same mass so it's the best of both worlds!
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(I don't want to be catholic just because of him by the way)
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Alright but make sure you're coming for the right reason.
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Ok I will!
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He obviously loves you and doesn't want you to get anything bad from smoking. Ask him to help you stop because its disgusting, pollutes the earth, and gives you cancer!!

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But I don't want to stop! It's not an option remember?
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you obviously dont care about him!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh my god don't you dare say that! He is like the only thing I do care about in this world!
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If you love him enough to quit cutting your rest and you should love them enough to quit smoking I used to Smoke cigarettes to my boyfriend didn't like so he asked me to quit so I did Cancer is a battle you don't want to fight

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
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I understand where you're coming from! But I just want to know how to let him know that I'm not gonna stop without hurting him so much!
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It seems to me that he actually does care about you. I wouldn't take the risk of losing my boyfriend over a cigarette . Cigarettes are addicting like any other, if he's crying for you, it would be best if you stop :(

Helpful (5) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (18)
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I understand where you're coming from! But I just want to know how to let him know that I'm not gonna stop without making him so upset again!
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Tell him to be a man. After all he is one.
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Look Loving, I don't appreciate the way you have been talking to me, it is quite rude! So please stop!
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Well something needs to change or he might kill himself like you keep saying you'll do...
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Haha oh no, he would never kill himself, he has to "win the game first" I don't know, it's something he says that he can't die until he wins life! Not the board game but actual life!
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I would like to meet him. Cause as a curious person I like to study joy and hope.
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He says to win he has to become filthy stinking rich! He actually isn't always happy, he is kinda hardly ever really happy! That's why it took us so long to get together is cause he is afraid of bring happy!
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Money never brings happiness and the proof is all the greedy rich people that this country says is the bad guy.
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Yeah I know, I'm not really sure how I feel about him saying that but oh well, it'll all work out in the end!
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It sucks he doesn't have an ask.com account I would Love to talk to him about is happiness issues. Btw I've been self training to be a good leader for when I ask if I can be one for the youth group at my church. I'm also practicing my spelling and grammar skills for the day I take the GED.
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Haha yeahhh......xool! How's that going?
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Well it's 4:00am where I am so I need to go to sleep! I'll talk to you tomorrow I guess!
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I'm not very intelligent and I avoid books like the plague and I have epilepsy and that messes with my brain but I'm managing.
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Lol! Aw I'm sorry, that's gotta suck!
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I always manage. But I was held back a year last year and I don't know if I'm smart enough most of the time but I stand up ready yet sure through my confusion.
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That's good! :)
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Yup and you should be sure of things being true alot more it helps in life otherwise you slip like a leaf...
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Haha yeah!
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Add a comment...

Try electronic cigarettes. I smoke a Volcano Inferno which has a tank for vaping e-liquid. Great flavors available plus traditional tobacco and menthol options. Gives you a great hit of nicotine without the tar and poisons of cigs.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
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I'm not even sure if he would like that but I'll ask, thanks!
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You're welcome. It's like vaping a hooka and they even have vaping bars where people go to vape! He might even like it: Try coo coo coconut and Bonzai Banana from Volcano,com. With the liquid tank holder (that holds the liquid) you can mix flavors. Go to the e-cig Redit site for more info.
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I'm pretty sure he actually had an electronic cigaret, I think he has smoked it once and never had again but I'll ask him what he thinks! Thanks again!
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Stopping IS an option. We all do things we don't want to do. My grandparents all died of lung cancer from smoking because they didn't WANT to stop. So stop, don't ruin your life. As for your boyfriend, you shouldn't be together much longer if you are going to continue. He doesn't like what you are doing, and you told him you'd stop. You're lying and disgusting him. Most people would dump their partner if this were their case. Sorry for the harsh answer.

Helpful (4) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (8)
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I'm suicidal anyways so I don't care if I die early!
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My Dad passed away from lung cancer and my mom has emphysema so bad she can barely walk 50 feet. It's such a horrible addiction that slowly sucks the life energy from you! I think this girl finds cigarettes to be the alternative to cutting herself.
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Yes I do!
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kazarina
Compassion & nonjudgmental options is what this young woman is looking for.
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Yes exactly! Thank you kazerina!
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kazarina*
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kazarina
Sorry I had to go out op shopping. I'm back now.
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Xool!
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Why on earth would you give up a loving, caring boyfriend over cigarettes!!?!? Holy tits...

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I don't, that's why I asked this question!
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Tell him the truth. I'm sorry but if it takes you saying to him flat out that you don't care about his feelings as much as you do about smoking then so be it. You are doing something you know hurts you and makes him cry. Did you know that second hand smoke kills people btw? He might also be worried about his own health aswell. Frankly I would never date someone that smokes because I have weak lungs and so smoke really hurts. My sister has to stay atleast 4 feet away outside with the wind pushing it away from us while she smokes just for me to talk to her about anything... I can't see how he could date someone so selfish that she'd try to hide killing herself from him... I want to tell him right now that he can do better but I can't. My advice is tell him or don't see him but be honest or you are just trying to hurt him.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (19)
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He knows that I've tried to kill myself!
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And he tries to help you through that but you aren't letting him...
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I'm trying! I'm trying my hardest!
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Giving it up is the only way to try while not trying to deceive him...
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I'm sorry but nothing you say is going to change my mind, the next time I see my bf, we'll talk this out and we'll come up with an agreement, which might be me actually stoping, but he is the only person that can get me to stop!
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I think you can. He sounds great but ultimately its your choice. I'm glad you are going to talk it over with him but remember cutting yourself is not going to help.
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This is true, but he has a say too! Thanks, I'll keep that in mind!
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Well it's 4:00am where I am so I need to go to sleep! I'll talk to you tomorrow I guess!
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Say? Heck yeah he does! But it doesn't mean anything till you choose anyway goodnight.
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Yeah but more than half of my choice is his, that's just the way our relationship works!
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Omg! We watch almost all of the same stuff!!!
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By the way, this is the only thing that I have ever said "no" to my boyfriend, ever!!!
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Is there a reason to say no? I can only imagine no being used for helping the other get past a problem they have.
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I meant this is the only thing he has asked of me and I have said no!
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I mean....he asks me for stuff a lot but I always say yes!
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Sorry I think I said that backwards... I meant if you are helping him or helping you yuh ask and they better say yes cause if not you put your foot down and say "no! I will help you!!!"
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That makes sense!
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Alright.
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Lol! Yep!
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Raven, your bf is crying from his heart because he honestly cares for you... Try very hard to focus on that gift rather than self harm. Cigarettes are not a good alternative to cutting. I would really encourage you to stop before you get completely hooked. You're beautiful, but smoking will slowly draw the life from you. Soon you will be like a junky --- you will look way older than you really are, smell bad, waste money, and only hurt the few that truly care about you. I will offer you a solution guaranteed to help you. Every time you feel like harming yourself take a power walk. Don't laugh, go for a fast walk around the block 2 times. You will give your body a natural high and it will lift your spirits. You have options :-)

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (7)
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Thanks ill try that!
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You're the only person on here who has given me a happy idea! Other than the guy with the electronic cigarets! Thanks a lot! :)
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I'm really sorry about you're mom and dad by the way!
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Good, I do hope you give it a try. I also smoked so I really do know first hand what an awful habit it is. I felt so much better after quitting. Thanks you for your concern about my parents. I took care of my dad during his last two years of life. I can't begin to tell you how seeing your once strong father shrivel up into nothing makes you really hate smoking. He even quit 10 years before getting diagnosed. I really hope you decide to stop. And if you choose to keep smoking I know you will begin to hate it and wish you could be free. Trust me! :-) When you're young you feel invincible and these things seem so far away... But life has a way of flying by. Hang on to that BF he cares about you; work hard at fighting off the sad thoughts. I have faith in you.
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Thank you very much! I'm very sorry about that, I wis there was something I could do! Thank you again!
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Your welcome. You are kind. I can tell you have a good heart.
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I definitely try! :)
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Smoking not good

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I know that!
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It's better to finish
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What?
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smoking
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Well I'm not gonna!
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I was in this situation reversed with my ex years ago. We were together for years and he kept lying about not smoking because he knew how much I hated it. The way I saw it is if smoking is really that much more important than my thoughts and care for him then our relationship, his health, and my love and care for him apparently didn't matter as much as those damn cigarettes and disgusting dip. That is the story from your bf's point of view, take it as you will and I sincerely hope you're not as low of a person as my ex was to place a selfish bad habit above his love and concern for you.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (7)
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I haven't smoked ever sense I told him that I was gonna stop because I'm not ever going to lie to him! I'm sorry about what happened to you, he shouldn't have gone behind you're back like that!
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Ok that's good! You said stopping wasn't an option, but if you stopped and aren't going to lie about it then good!!
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I haven't stopped though, I've only taken a break to make sure that I don't lie to him!
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Taking a break isn't going to magically make him be ok with it
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I know that! I just want to make sure that the next time I see him I won't have to tell him that I went back on my word!
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Starting up again is going back on your word
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Not if we talk about it and work something out, which is what will happen because that's the way our relationship works!
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kazarina

Cutting scares me as a parent. There obviously has to be some sort of compromise here. Your health is at stake in more ways than one. I think a councilor may help you what ever you decide. Maybe your boyfriend will go with you.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (9)
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I've stopped cutting, I haven't cut sense September! But my parents won't take me to a counselor or shrink or anything cause they don't believe me when I tell them that I'm depressed! And I'm homeschooled so I don't have a school counselor! And I don't have any money to go by myself and I don't want my boyfriend to pay soooo yeah.......
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kazarina
There is government ones that you can access for free. Counciling may not solve problems but with the right one they can help you feel more in control of your life & emotions. I'm sorry your parents can't see the distress that you are in. Maybe a Aunty or older friend may be able to help you ask your parents to allow you some sort of guidance. Do your family know you cut or do you keep that from them out of embarrassment.
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kazarina
Sorry have cut in the past
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Yes they know, they confiscated my knifes as soon as they found out and they said that I just thought it was a cool idea, and that i didn't really want to hurt myself! I still found ways to cut until my boyfriend convinced me to stop! My boyfriends parents might be able to help, I'll talk to them, thanks! :)
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kazarina
Can you go online & find assistance for the depression otherwise. Other than that I can't offer much more advice but I hope life improves for you. Take care & stay safe.
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Yeah probably! Thanks a bunch! :)
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kazarina
You ask whoever you need to for help.
Are you old enough to not need your parents permission. Here in Australia once you are 16. If you leave home your parents can't make you come home. U can see drs councilors & your parents don't get to know details.
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No I'm not 16 yet! Ok xool, thanks!
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And in Alabama I think you have to be 18 or have applied for an early adult something or another, I don't know that much about it, my boyfriend told me about it and he is a very reliable source!
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This is RavenGirl's other account, I told my boyfriend last night that I'm not gonna stop smoking, I was very careful about how I said it and in the end he said "it hurts me that you are going to continue to smoke which is very bad for you and will hurt the girl I love, but I'm not going to stop you. I have to stop trying to run you're life for you. You're a smart girl and I'm sure you can handle it the way it needs to be handled." So thanks for everyone's help, I couldn't have don't this without you all! :)

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It sounds like a victory but those words have marks of dread... I honestly think he lost an ounce of trust and respect in you... You won't see it but that was a vital choice that could destroy your friendship in the end... He isn't ok with it but he'll keep up an act just for you. Honestly I'm not him but if I were to make his moves I'd do the same... I could never handle smoke but he isn't me so I'd do things differently in his place but the same in his body. That is if I cared enough.
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kazarina
Prince T she has made her discision based on her needs. She has been open & honest with her boyfriend. & she can't do much better than that. If her boyfriend decides its too hard for him then that will be his choice. She can only make the choices for herself & is not responsible for the choices other people do or do not make. So why not just wish her good luck without injecting yourself into her equation by saying you wouldn't put up with it. She has been kind enough to share with us the outcome & I thankyou for that Raven girl. Good luck.
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Thank you kazarina, he says he understands the fact that I have depression problems and that if it helps and I'm going to anyways he is overall glad I told him upfront!
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Ok well I wash my hands of this matter (I won't have anything more to say...)
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Haha ok then! @Prince
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It's not fun saying that being to means "I have no hope for you" but it was to be said... I will always leave my one hope of you changing.
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Umm ok then!
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Ask him if he doesn't want you to smoke because it can give u cancer or something like that. If he says yes, just ask if u could use a e-cigarette. Hope this helps;)

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