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Funny things to say instead of cussing?

I hear people at school cuss all the time, and I chose not to. I realized most of them can't stop it, it's just a habit. so.. I don't want to sound as stupid as they do when they cuss and I want to know some other words/phrases to say instead. I'm not too serious of a person either, so I like to joke around. also if you have any good comebacks to say to people I'd appreciate that too ;D thanks!

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What the french toast?

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I like what the fak, and what the duck, those get me the funniest looks.
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Lol! I usually say what the french toast.... I have many word replacements.
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I gave you a star because everyone else was. I gave into peer pressure...
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XD I'm glad I get lots of stars. It means I really help people.
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A friend of mine says shut the front door. lol
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fuuuunky doodles

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fudge, fak, chips, vans, duck.

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Why dont you "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!" Lol

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Love this one!!
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"Oh, fiddlesticks!"

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I nearly said, "Oh, Fiddle Faddle", lol. Our Wonder Twin powers must be a bit off tonight.
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One of my favorites!!
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IM JUST LIKE YOU!!! Just stick to the old school stuff. Don't let anyone intimidate you!

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Thanks:) I won't!
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clemwillhelpu

b*tch- Blitch
a$$- ash
i could go on for ever, but i dont wanna type any more

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"F-asterix asterix asterix"

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Get wit. Get tons and tons of wit, and become absolutely so scintillating that no matter what someone says, you have something funny to say about it. This of course, comes from knowledge.

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bonckers!

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mother froger.

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*Mother Lover
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AW SHOE BUCKLE! or WHY DON'T U BLANK THE BLANK UP! AND STOP BEIN A FUGY WIPERSNAPER OR EVEN BETER COFUSE THEM BY SAYING A BUCH OF RANDOM STUFF

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That's great thank you!!!
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YOURE WELCOME!!! and thank u for saying tank u no one does anymore
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Oh fuh-CRYin' out loud!

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Nice!!
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I didn't make it up haha got it from a Sam Jackson movie :-)
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Or " for crying in a bucket" I say it all the time.
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Oh Flock

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OH FLOCK O' BIRDS! i like that one too.
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bi0tch, what the fudge, shenitzles <<< my fave >:D

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"Fuddruckers" works for me when need be... and if they cuss in front of you, just ask them if they kiss their mama with that mouth. That usually shuts them up.

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Excellent!
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Love it!
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Thanks!
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I like it !!
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Shut the front door! xD

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Numbnuts
BAZINGA

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Where did you get numbnuts from?
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Tsk tsk.
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I have a shirt... it says Keep Calm and BAZINGA... flippin best word ever
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I have a shirt too!
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:) Do you now?
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Yes..with Sheldon's face..it's a red shirt. Haha.
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Frog....it works for alot...sorry got the idea from an anime XD

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I say fudgerknuckle. I have no idea why. XD

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I like it!!
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Cute
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8)
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Kiss my grits!!

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Heck to the yeah!!! That is an oldie, but a GOODIE!!
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Sick my lick!

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pick a foreign accent and use the " I don't understand" translation of whichever language you choose! ! !

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XD that's great!!!
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Poop

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Crudballs and snot buckets are a couple exclamations I like to use. Use your imagination.

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Snot buckets....lololol
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degenerate
slunt
deadbeat
sloot
whoore
idk

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2befoxed

flipperdung

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Lol...awesome!
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Sub in some oldschool slang from the 40's and 50's. No one ever uses those words and you will come of fairly original as well. Simple comebacks are the best. "Shaddup" like the gangster in looney toons is a fave... but in the middle of the oppositions sentence only. A blank, deadpan stare always works, "Nope" or "shaddup"... popping the "P" after a pause is awesome. "Your mother hates you" is pure gold. "Your mom's your dad" absolutely kills. Shutdown rank right there. Good luck!

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Dang it
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR
Gosh darn it >:o
You fudger

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You don't cuss because it's funny, "heck" and "darn" just don't always get the point across

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What the fudge? Shnoodle. Poop nuggets. (got that from NY little brother lol)

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Barnacles!!!
Dagnabbit!
Cheese and Crackers!!!
I don't give a flip!
FIDDLESTICKS!
Gosh Donut!
Crimanitely!!
The Very Idea!!

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Love them all !!!
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When ever I get mad or upset I say pinochle......lol my daughter speaking. she doesn't even know what that word means

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gee willikers
gosh darn it
holy cow
shut the front door
jesus, mary and joseph
to heck with it
jeez louise
gazoot
what in tarnation
well shut my mouth
well i'll be a monkey's uncle
son of a biscuit
oh shitaki mushrooms
what the fudge
holy handbasket
what the flip

...that's all i've got. If you want to have some real fun look up shakespearean or elizabethan insults. They'll confuse the heck out of everyone. XD

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Great ones!
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son of a biscuit

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I like to say stuff like ralk or random stuff it helps~ Kuro

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Dingus;) it means dumb waffle;)

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Fudge it
Oh snap
Rats behind

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Heeheehee...love em!!
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Goose darn it!

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Sweet mother of pearl!

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Geeeezzzzzz...... You kinda' need to have the vocables just right

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poopies
shiznick
pickles
gosh darn it

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Shut the front door!

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Firetruck!

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Shut the front door!
What the flipperdoodles

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Chiz

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When I get hurt I say "OH MUFFIN!", "Fudge Muffins" or "Sugar Foot". Frustration calls for "oh, shoot a monkey." And when I'm really mad and can't contain myself, and something slips, I find myself halfway through and finishing out with a weird word. Example: "Oh sh..shake and bake!" or "You bi...ingo!"

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Well........my boyfriend has a pet ferret, we were around my mom and she does NOT like the F word, so when he hurt his foot he said....'Frikin' ferret nipples!' We all busted out laughing! <3

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Fartsicles, crudmuffins, son of a sea biscuit, crap for brains, flustercluck

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Fartsicles!! That's definitely original. XD
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just_saying

Poodles!! Shooey!!

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Brother Trucker?

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what the shiz nuggets! instead of $h!t

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Sack. Jews. Balls. Good Night and Half OF The Next Day. (:

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dafuq

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Sugar
Honey
Ice
Tea
*it spells sh!t*

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Schist instead of sh!t

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That's going to leave a mark!!!!!

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"OH MY FRACKING GOSH YOU ANNOY THE SKITTLESPIT OUT OF ME!!!" instead of saying "OH MY F****** GOSH YOU ANNOY THE S*** OUT OF ME!!!"

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What the math or This thing puts the bam bam to the j stop

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Dagnabbit!

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shiz nicky

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son of a biscuit-eater! Frack!

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futher mocker

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blargle LARGLE!!!!

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im not taking anymore of this shitzu or your a piece of shitocky mushroom

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Here's what me and my friends say:

What the hail?!
FOOP!
BOOP!
SHOOP!
You biscuit!
Crabnuggets!
Fudge nuggets!
Cranberries/Cranberry sauce!
Shmagmorphous!
Goinker!
LURRDLE LURRDLE LURRDLE! (or LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE)
Mother FATHER! (from Last Man Standing)
FAAAAAAAH!
Shiz-wizzle!
Dadgummit!
Moe' Suckra'! (Tobuscus)
Pumpernickel!
Flip/Flippin'
GOD DIGGITY DOODLE!
Truck YEAH!

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Fudge
Cheese and Rice
Goll Darn
Bad Mother Trucker
Holy Schinkeys
You farggin ice hole
Jean Claude VAN DAMM!!!

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`aaaahh sugar

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What the flip licker?
Son of a flying sea biscuits!
Good gravy...
Holy schnitzel man!
Mother flucker!
Suck cheese balls!
Suck on this.. *hold your finger out toward them*
You corny FLUCKER!
Son of a nutcracker!
Son of a ball cruncher!
You clock sucker!

Here are some words and sentences I use on my own when trying so hard not to cuss enjoy LOL :)

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flipper
fudge
flip you
fudge yah

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Just watch adventure time xD!

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butch,
fleck
sugar honey ice tea
suga
bum
bs
bumpy
you butt
what the turtle wagoon?
what the h-e double hockey sticks

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duck you
penguin poop
shut the front door
etc etc

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what the poop,

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fiddle pup

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First of all, good for you! I like shakesperian insults. There are a lot online, if you want to look them up. I personally like : Shut up, you mewling, flap-mouthed giglet! (or) you impish, toad-spotted nuthook!

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fudge nuget!! my teacher says a whole bunch of words like this

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Dingleberries! or McMuffin!

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Holy Chicago!
Shut The Front Door!
Mother Trucker!
Bull Shitoki!
;)

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replace ever curse with " wata " it would ether make someone laugh or make you sound dumb good luck

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Scum Sucking Pig, Oh Bloody Hell, Dork-o-licious (I couldn't help it, I'm a Big Dork)!

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Go around saying golly! Golly gee! It's great when your around lots of guys and the look they give me... priceless :D

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i0ate0elmo

instead of cussing, my friend says nipples... he accidentally kicked a door and hurt his foot at school...and yelled nipples in front of a hallway full of students and teachers...

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my friend stubbed her foot and said rasberry tickle bear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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itmeans aw shit
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what the duck?!?!?!

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Instead of most swear words you say when something bad happens, instead I say Bollocks.

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