Combination of things. Usually explaining the problem. Sometimes fitting the punishment to the crime (slamming doors- open and close door gently 25 times) Sometimes a swat on the butt. I would say no twice, then pop her. No anger involved and she already knew 2 times was my limit. Sometimes taking away of things. She got on the Internet at 1 am, I cancelled the Internet for a month.
It's been many years since I had to discipline my kids but when they were younger, they would be sent to their rooms for various times. They didn't have TV's or computers in their rooms back in those days, so they were bored to death.
I send them to their rooms if they are arguing with each other. Next thing I know I hear them talking and laughing through the heat vents in their rooms. I let that go on for awhile, for reasons of my sanity. Then they get a lecture and they can get out.
Well I Make them work for what they want if they behaved bad... Meaning make them behave good if they want something! && if they fighting I would make them apologies with each other && I make them share Their toys! I don't like my kids to fight over stuff && and in not like those parents who gives each of their kids something even though Is the same thing! I want them not to be selfish && I like them to share their stuff :)
People always say our b/g 3yo twins (soon 4) are sweet and well behaved but we don't do anything with other people's opinions in mind. they have never had a smack. we use distractions We use immediate attention to problems we respond to crying and appease it asap we train them to "think" by short words like gentle share in a minute it doesn't matter and use tone of voice to impart "seriousness" If ignoring us we say 3, 2,1 slowly, increasing urgencde and may say 3 many times before saying twos. Oddly we have never got to "action", it works. they learn manners by us just saying the right thing, they mimic (they say "you're welcome" when we say thanks heh) We recognise tantrums or overtired with tactical ignoring or a "nest" of bedding we celebrate every advance with them, they love it heh.