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How can I overcome or cure social anxiety?

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By a process known as desensitization. You need to seek out situations which challenge you a bit, but are still familiar enough to be somewhat comfortable. Gradually you need to push your self further and further outside your comfort zone. It's not going to be easy, and you may decide that you don't want to do it alone and seek out the help of a qualified therapist. But either way, you do have it within you to change this around for yourself; wanting to change is the very first step.

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That's what I did, good advice.
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Thanks... same here.
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I have I tried going to the movies and man I was sweating and felt like passing out..I try going out side but everything feels so weird
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You may need to discuss this with a physician or therapist. There are many medications available that won't make you into a zombie, they will just take the extreme panic away. I went through a bit of this myself after some tragedies in my life, and now I can even go to the movies alone.
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I'm want to star therapy but I don't know where
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Check with your community mental health department. I found a true blessing of a therapist there in my county.
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I will...thanks so much for the advice ! :)
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You're welcome.
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Wonderful - but it would help to know the approximate age of Scentral so that a more appropriate response could be given. At this stage the best I can add is to PLEASE not go for drugs and psychotrophic medication except as a LAST RESORT. There are many, many effective and healthy choices that will help. Drugs are there only if everything else has failed....
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Bless you my child!!! I have helped more people in this situation than you have had Christmas dinners and I don't need your approval to function. Drugs and alcohol only mask the symptoms and do NOTHING to address the problem. What this person needs are the social skills to intertact and the book I have suggested gives exactly what has helped tens of thousands of people in exactly the same situation. The Book will definitely help, although I would use together it with Counselling sessions and probably some encounter groups to practise social skills in a safe environment. I agree with most that you have to say, but I hope your fierce excessive judgemental trait doesn't cause you grief in your life. "Insufferable" huh? Look in a mirror and wonder why you irrationally respond in that manner - it hasn't come from me - I am just pixels on your screen....
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awnser my question please
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mankilla444

watch a guy name vitaly on youtube he doesn't talk about it or give you tips on how to fix it but just from how confident he always is it helps people

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awnser my question please
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join toastmasters...... they will help you...... you'll love it too

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awnser my question please
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Hypnotherapy. Fear of social interaction is not "normal" but a habit you've acquired over time. Anything you've learned, you can unlearn. Hypnosis will work at the subconscious level and change that behavior to remove the fear and anxiety you may have in being in a social environment. Look up a good hypnotherapist in your area and have a chat with them. This should be a "one and done" treatment.

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I agree if this person is middle aged or suffering genuine anxiety attacks - as you say "acquired over time". But if, as I suspect, we are talking about a socially gauche teenager, then Clinical Hypnotherapy is possibly overkill - certainly an excellent option if the situation gets serious. Counselling for low self-esteem is a less costly and an essential first step. I hope you agree.... Actually I can't remember an adolescent ever presenting for Hypnotherapy for social ineptness - they were usually too shy or too cocky to admit they needed help with a mental or emtotional problem.....
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Good comment. And I would agree - social anxiety is different from social ineptness. Hypnotherapy wouldn't address the latter but it could help with the self esteem. One good hypnosis session could put a young person on the right track and eliminate some painful experiences along the way. I work with people for motivation and confidence building all the time and the results are immediately noticeable. There's a lot going on between a pair of ears. Change that mental opinion of yourself and the behavior is now yours.
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The answer to your question is to buy the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." This was written by Dale Carnegie, probably before your parents were born, but it has remained firm favorite for decades because it WORKS!!!! There is no better book on how to relate to other people and it helps you understand how to get the responses you want when in a social situation. Mr Amazon.com has copies right now for about $15, so all you have to do now is read and understand the principles and your shyness and awkwardness will be ancient memories.... I cannot recommend it too highly - it transformed my life and that of my two daughters - as it can for you and your destiny. lol....

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get drunk before u go out & u won't have anymore anxiety...jk...but it wouldn't hurt to try

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I agree. I suffer from social anxiety and I just get drunk when I wanna go out into huge crowds to have fun.
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It makes talking to people alot easier
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You walk into a room and see group of people, jump right in there; you will be surprised how easily and quickly you are accepted. It also will prevent you standing there, sticking out like a 'sore thumb'

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I remember the day i was in a cross roads, and working out some issues in counseling, and I had a panic attack OMG I truly thought that I was dying. My counselor gave me some good advice it was to first slow down your thinking, and take deep long breaths.
It did help and since I was working on some really serious issues she told me I might want to consider medication, which I did take for two weeks. Then I gave it to God and he helped me through it all.
There is a great book called the anxiety cure I think that'she name by Archibald? Not sure of the name but he talks about many scenarios and how people learned to get over anxiety. It depends on your situation and how deep your anxiety is. Praying for you. Hope this helps?

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awnser mine
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just go out on a limb and just start with hello

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Pray to God our Holy God and ask Him to forgive you of all your sin and ask Jesus into your heart and then tell Jesus as you told us whats going on inside of you and He is a dear friend of yours now and you are in the family of God and now when you pick up the Bible you will be able to understand it now. Hey this is a great day for you. You are now born again and now you do not have to have this at all you are a new baby now learn to do the best that God wants you to do.

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I use to think people will think badly of me and judge me And i use to have a fear that ’ll be watched or evaluated by others. So i thought i had to be perfect in everyway so i could add up and i didint really feel Like making new friends i was just so unsocial but no i have got to the point were enough is enough i don't need to be afraid of what people think of me and How they see me!
My adivce!
Do you have a “fake smile” or a “real smile”?

Most of us go about our day while putting on that little upturn of our mouths when we order a coffee, respond to a customer, or a million other daily activities.

But is it real?

By real, I mean is it a GENUINE smile?

I bet it isn’t. You know how you can tell?

It’s all in the eyes. read on in the comments for more deatils!

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When I was learning how to be outgoing, I tested this concept. I went out and purposefully smiled with my eyes. (I may have even overdone it a bit and drifted into squinting.)

The funny thing is that if you start your smile with your eyes, you cannot help but smile with your mouth. It just happens

The reaction I got was… amazing! Totally different than just the old fake smile.

People actually lit up and were much more friendly with me. One girl at a store even blushed and lost her train of thought as I held eye contact with her. (That was fun.)

Try it yourself. Stand in front of a mirror and put on your usual “fake smile.” Then replace it with a REAL smile. Notice the difference. Notice how it feels.

Then take it outside and show it to the world. I guarantee that you will notice a difference in the way people react to you.
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If you’ve ever said “I want to be more confident”, then you know the pain of suffering from low self-esteem. Some days it seems like you can’t get out of your rock bottom state, much less become outgoing and make new friends.

Without confidence you may even begin to detest yourself. Self-loathing communicates that you’re not worth getting to know. Bad. Very bad.

Fortunately, there is something you can do about it. To be more confident, we turn to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a famous plastic surgeon who wrote extensively about the “Self-Image”.

In his classic self-help book PsychoCybernetics, he writes…

Our Self-Image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goal. It prescribes the “area of the possible”…

When this self-image is intact and secure, you feel “good.” When it is threatened, you feel anxious and insecure. When it is adequate and one that you can be wholesomely proud of, you feel self-confident. You feel free to “be yourself” and to express yourself. You function at your optimum. When it is an object of shame, you attempt to hisde it rather than express it. Creative expression is blocked. You become hostile and hard to get along with.

This concept is so important to becoming outgoing, but very few of us actually take the time to put it into practice.

Once, I was about to start a new job. In my old job, I had a reputation as the “shy and quiet guy” who did everything for everyone without hesitation or payment… the nervous guy who didn’t talk to girls… the lemming who could be walked on and taken advantage of.

I was determined to not allow that to happen at the new job. I had it all planned out in my mind… I would come in strong and powerful, setting the new standard from Day One.

I remembered PsychoCybernetics and turned to the page on how to properly create a positive self-image. I did the technique for the entire week prior to starting the new job, mentally preparing for exactly how I would act and behave at the new job.

Guess what? It worked.

On my very first day, I acted just
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If you’ve ever said “I want to be more confident”, then you know the pain of suffering from low self-esteem. Some days it seems like you can’t get out of your rock bottom state, much less become outgoing and make new friends.

Without confidence you may even begin to detest yourself. Self-loathing communicates that you’re not worth getting to know. Bad. Very bad.

Fortunately, there is something you can do about it. To be more confident, we turn to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a famous plastic surgeon who wrote extensively about the “Self-Image”.

In his classic self-help book PsychoCybernetics, he writes…

Our Self-Image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goal. It prescribes the “area of the possible”…

When this self-image is intact and secure, you feel “good.” When it is threatened, you feel anxious and insecure. When it is adequate and one that you can be wholesomely proud of, you feel self-confident. You feel free to “be yourself” and to express yourself. You function at your optimum. When it is an object of shame, you attempt to hisde it rather than express it. Creative expression is blocked. You become hostile and hard to get along with.

This concept is so important to becoming outgoing, but very few of us actually take the time to put it into practice.

Once, I was about to start a new job. In my old job, I had a reputation as the “shy and quiet guy” who did everything for everyone without hesitation or payment… the nervous guy who didn’t talk to girls… the lemming who could be walked on and taken advantage of.

I was determined to not allow that to happen at the new job. I had it all planned out in my mind… I would come in strong and powerful, setting the new standard from Day One.

I remembered PsychoCybernetics and turned to the page on how to properly create a positive self-image. I did the technique for the entire week prior to starting the new job, mentally preparing for exactly how I would act and behave at the new job.

Guess what? It worked.

On my very first day, I acted just
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My mind knew precisely what to do. I had “pre-loaded” it with a new self-image… mental pictures of the “new me.”

I didn’t worry about what to say or do. My revised self-image informed my mind that the “new me” never worries about what to say or do. He just knows instinctually.

And it stuck.

When you come in on the first day bringing with you a set of standard and expectations, people make note. They see you as the person you see in your own mind. That’s why it’s so important to “pre-load” a strong mental picture (Self-Image) so that both you and them see the same person.

Now, did this mean that I was permanently self-confident forever after that?

Of course not. Old habits returned… as they will always try to do. We must be vigilant in keeping our self-image intact. Like almost anything else in our lives, we need to maintain it every day. We need to reinforce the behaviors that get us what we want in our lives.

The key to all this is visualization. Take the time to stop, relax, and picture yourself succeeding at a task or in a particular place.

What we often don’t realize is that if we took some time and worked on our self-images, our ability to become more confident would skyrocket.
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If you’re shy, you know the terrifying feelings of social acceptance. You also know the emotional turmoil of just “fitting in” with your peers.

As if that’s not bad enough, society puts labels on us if we don’t achieve a certain level of popularity. The unfortunate truth is that “fitting in” opens doors to achievements and career opportunities that are closed to loners.

The best how to be outgoing advice with an eye to becoming popular was best described by famous author Dale Carnegie, who relates in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People:

There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble. The law is this: Always make the other person feel important.

It’s true. If we’re struggling to be part of a group that hasn’t accepted us yet, this is the best way to get an “in” with these people.

Having suffered with shyness and social anxiety my entire life, I found learning how to be confident in groups to be an enormous challenge.

Once, I wanted to join a group of business people who I knew were influential in my city. I needed advice on starting a business. So I put on my suit and tie, shined my shoes, and went to one of their meetings.

I cannot fully express how nervous I was. Negative thoughts rolled around in my head over and over, such as:

Who do I think I am going to this meeting?
I have no business degree. Why would these people even accept me?
I make no money and I still live with my Mom. These are high-powered business executives. They’re going to laugh at me.
It’s all an “old boys club.” I didn’t go to the right Ivy League school. If they don’t know me from an alumni association, then I have no hope to even remotely connect with them.
I have $43.57 in my bank account. That’s all the money I have in the world. These people make millions. What makes me think they’ll ever ac
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I stepped off the subway and walked into the grandiose lobby of the hotel. My voice was trembling as I asked the hotel clerk where the meeting was. It didn’t help that she was drop-dead gorgeous. My anxiety level kicked up a few notches.

When I walked into the ornate ballroom, I saw various groups gathered around talking. My sweaty hands gripped my faux-leather portfolio that contained my business plan and resume. My breathing was shallow. My heart raced.

I saw one very important-looking man “holding court” around a group of five people who were listening intently. I walked closer to them.

I hovered for a bit, and then turned to face the man speaking. He was talking about how the Internet was going to revolutionize business. (This was 1995. People still needed to be convinced back then. How times change!)

As he spoke, I made eye contact with him. I blanked everything out of my mind and focused in on his words. I tried to see what he was seeing. I nodded in agreement when he said something important.

He noticed. The other five people, even though they were closer to him, weren’t as “into” his message as I was. He felt my rapt attention.

Soon, he was talking to me with 90% of his eye contact and energy. The other people had parted like the Red Sea and he had moved closer to me.

Crap, I said to myself. I don’t even own a computer. Once I open my mouth, I’m going to show my ignorance.

He had finished his last sentence with something like, “And that’s how internet commerce is going to make buying as easy as clicking your mouse from the privacy of your home.”

There was a long pause.

So I just picked up his last line and asked, “But do you really think people are going to put their credit card numbers over the Internet?”

“Great question!”, he said and launched into an explanation of how future security would solve this issue.

The other people looked at me like I was somebody important. All I had done was asked an intelligent question based on what he was saying.

And my fear lessened. It didn’t vanish comple
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because I was still out of my element. But because I gave this man the sense of importance he felt he deserved, I instantly became part of his group.

Not only did he and I talk for a couple of hours, he introduced me to several well-known local businesspersons with whom I talked the rest of the day.

All I did was repeat the process. I asked questions. I nodded and listened intently. I encouraged them to continue talking. No learning how to be cool necessary.

By the end of the day, I had made several connections and had received one potential job offer… mostly by just asking questions, listening intently, and encouraging others to share their expertise.

In other words, I showed them appreciation.

Do you see how it’s done?

If you’d like to get “in” with a certain group, then show you appreciate their expertise. Some ways to do this are:

Get curious about what they’re doing.
Ask good questions about their goals and desires.
Pay rapt attention to what they say, picturing their feelings and experiences as they describe them.
Show appreciation for their accomplishments.
Demonstrate that you have similar interests and goals.
Say yes when they invite you to their next group event.
A simple way of looking at it is:
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It’s not about them accepting you, it’s about you accepting them!

Once you show them that you consider them important by giving your acceptance and appreciation, they’ll want you to be part of their group. You’ll suddenly find yourself surrounded by new friends.

I’ll close again with another quote from the master Dale Carnegie:

William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” As I have already pointed out, it is this urge that differentiates us from the animals. It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself.

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Shy and anxious people are always asking how to be social and make more friends. As someone with social anxiety, I know how much of a huge struggle it can be.

Even worse, your worrisome thoughts can trigger rapid heartbeat, high blood pressure, blushing, sweating, and tremors.

The good news is that there is something you can do everyday that virtually guarantees a better mood, a brighter outlook, and helps you to be a more outgoing person. Here it is from Nicholas Boothman, author of Convince Them in 90 Seconds or Less: Make Instant Connections That Pay Off in Business and in Life (nicholasboothman.com):

How to Smile

The quickest way to put your best face forward is with a smile. Smiles signal approachability, happiness, and confidence. Professional models have tricks to help them get in the mood and smile. Here’s my favorite. Put your face about then inches in front of a mirror. Look yourself right in the eye and say the word “great” in as many different ways as you can: angry, loud, soft, sexy, like Jerry Lewis… Keep going. Eventually you’ll crack up. Repeat the exercise once a day for three days.

The next time you’re going to meet someone, say “great” under your breath three times and you’ll be smiling.

Note how the author encourages you to be silly. Smiling is associated with being silly for good reason.

Shy people are notoriously serious. Smiling allows us to lighten up and laugh a little as we go about our day. You don’t have to learn how to be funny. A smile is contagious and can even make another person laugh.

Not only that, it opens them up for friendly conversation.

You’ve probably heard people tell you to smile your entire life. Maybe you’re sick of it. But there’s a reason it’s been said so many times. It’s because…

It works!

Think about it. How many people do you see smiling every day? Not very many. We are all so stressed, so busy, so lost in our own little worlds that we forget to smile.

I’m guilty too.

Once, a friend of mine and I were in a convenience store waiting in line to buy sna
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