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My mom had a stroke how can I help her?

2 years ago my mom suffered a massive stroke, she can't move her left hand and uses a hemi walker to help move her left leg to do minimal walking. My biggest problem is she has lost faith that she will get any better, and she refuses to goto physical therapy. I try encouraging her in any way that I can to keep trying, but she always turns things around like we are just coming down on her, or we are mad at her. We have tried anti depressants but she no longer wants to take them, but now she talks about dying alot. Really hurting here I love my mom very much, any advice would be appreciated

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We are in the exact situation with my dad. He had a stroke 3 years ago and sounds like he could be your mom's twin! He's completely unmotivated and would be happy in bed ALL day. He's on antidepressants, too, although he doesn't want to take them either. We signed him up for a rehab/exercise program at the gym of the local hospital. There are so many other people there in the same boat - they can eat lunch and socialize, too. He refused to go. He does go to a stroke support group which meets one a month. He goes with a neighbor who had a stroke, too. He seems to enjoy that. Do you have a Council on Aging who can pick her up? They take the eldest to grocery shop, run errands, etc. I guess it's helps them maintain some independence. Just keep supporting her. That's all you can do. Keep validating her life - mom, can you help me....(fill in the blank). Make her feel needed and useful.

I feel for you. It's so hard to watch your parent do downhill. I wish you and your mom the best.

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We actually took her to the door if physical therapy and she refused to get out. She has always been a very stubborn person but now she is a hundred times worse. I do believe that some support groups could help her if we could convince her to go. It's hard because none of my family knows what she's going through, and if she would agree to talk to some people who she could relate to I think it would make a difference. She has always been such an active person, now she doesn't want to leave the chair or her tv, I wish I could convince her to get out a little bit once in a while and at least be a part of little things like grocery shopping with my dad, I think that would be a positive thing for her. Thank you very much for your time
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My father in law just had a stroke. It's really hard to see them like that. I couldn't talk to him without crying so I just wrote him a letter. He wAs pretty hopeless too and said we should just let him die. I dont know how religious you are but I would let her know that she survived the stroke for a reason and her time here is not done. I reminded my father in law of his grandchildren and how he needs to be here to help teach them as they grow up. Just let her know that you are here for her and if she tries to get better she will. She can only go up from here. God bless you guys!

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That is very good advice, I have thought of writing a letter to express my feelings. I'm just trying so hard to be strong, and it is impossible to talk to her about the way I feel without breaking out into tears, regardless I do try to hide my emotions. Can't say I'm the most religious person, but I do believe in god, may have lost some faith when it happened, but do understand things happen for a reason just not sure what that reason is. Thank you very much for your time
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If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it. It's hard to understand why things like this happen but it is all part of His plan. May not be comforting but it's true. You said she thinks everyone is angry with her, write her a letter and let her know how you really feel. It may help her like you can't imagine. May motivate her too
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I am sorry for what you are going through. I think you should find a counselor to talk to your family during this challenging time and convince your mother to take physiotherapy. I hope that she gets well.

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I agree we should get her a psychiatric help, it's just a matter of getting around her stubbornness and getting her to accept help. Thank you for your time
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im no doctor, but prayer is the best medication. god bless <3

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Thank you
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All you can do is pray.....

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There is not a whole lot anyone can say to help you. You are doing what's right. Keep supporting her. In my experience with working with the elderly, once they start feeling like their going to die soon they usually do. I think maybe people have an inner clock that tells them their time is almost up. I'm sorry for what your going through. I have lost 7 people in my family, the last months of their life is the worst. Nothing anyone tells you will prepare you for this. God bless

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I kinda keep myself in denial that her time could be soon, but I do know inside that she may not have much time left. Just feel very helpless like there should be more I can do. When this first happened I feel as I lost a part of me inside, and when I do lose her I know I'll never be the same. I'm very sorry to hear of your losses, it's never easy losing someone close to you. Thank you very much for your time
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My heart goes out to you. Dealing with aging parents is so hard on so many different levels.
It sounds like she is suffering from depression and understandably so.
The last thing she should do is give up on her antidepressant, but it may need to be changed. Talk to her doctor about your concerns.
God bless.

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I have the same doctor as her maybe I could talk to him about convincing her to keep on the meds, just don't know how confidentiality works with family members. Thank you for your time
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Be there for her! No matter what. The brain can heal itself, she may not be like she was before but she is still here with you. I had a massive stroke in 2000 while pregnant with my daughter I was one of the lucky ones my only issues are double vision and seizures but pray and have everyone you know to pray it is a blessing and it works. I will keep you and your family in my prayers

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Sorry to hear of your stroke, I'll keep you in my prayers also. Thank you very much for your time
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Thank so much I strongly believe in the power of prayer. I was prayed for all around the world. The stork was caused by a AVM that was the size of a grapefruit
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May God Bless You. I been through the same thing with my Dad 10 years ago. Just be there for your Mom. Don't let her give up. Encourage her,because sometimes they feel a little depressed,especially if they have lost their mobility. And pray for her,because it's a blessing that she still here.

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I'm glad to know that your mom is still here with you.

Your mother is probably not use to being physically dependent on anyone. You should continue to be supportive and encouraging.

Physical theropy can be very demanding, depending on the task.
I had physical theropy after two knee surgeries from playing football. It wasn't the most enlighten experience.

It may even help if you were to participate in the physical theropy session with her. Just saying small things like "great job mom" or "mom I'm so proud of you" helps. Regardless of how big or small the task was that she did.





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