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What's one thing you'd do in life if you knew you couldn't fail at it?

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Be myself.

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Cj. you so have that covered!
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I hope. How are you doing fishy?
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Feeling a little evil tonight....ever have those nights when you just don't have patience with stupid questions/comments/answers? High fin, Sistergirl ~|~ How about you? Have you answered your question yet? Not pushing, just wondering.
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Not doing the best. Some things happened with mom between yesterday and today, and I'm beating myself up over it. I really wish I could grow this back bone. It's just so hard, she's my mom. I wonder why she can't see how much I love her, and how much she messes me up.

And yes, I do have those "evil" nights too.
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Cj, as you tell people, you can only control/change yourself, no one else, including your mom. Why do I say that? When you love her, you are giving her the most wonderful gift anyone can give. When you love her, it's like the sun shining on a flower, the flower grows whether or not it knows the sun is helping it. Your love helps your mom whether or not she knows it. You are doing what you need to do, as my mom used to say: Angels can't do more. It has nothing to do with your backbone, it's your heart. When you see that you can love your mom from afar and be just as helpful as you are up close, you will feel free to move out of her circle of pain and into the sun, loving her just the same, but shielding your own heart. I hope that for you! And for your mom too. She did a wonderful thing when she gave you to the world, some day she'll realize that and be proud of herself, and of you. I promise!
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I don't think so. She's hurt me so much. She doesn't even know, because well, I can't tell her. Everytime I try to talk to her about it, she runs to her friends and tells them how selfish and unloving I am. What kind of mom does this?
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Wow, my comment got deleted.
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Really? Were you bad? Try it again.
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I think it came back. You don't have to tell her, it's kind of like Karma, stuff happens just because it has to. Law of the Universe. Honey, stop trying to talk to her about it, she is not capable of hearing it right now. Could you cut back on the voice contact a bit, not completely, just a bit, and send her cards or emails, or photos of yourself instead? Show you love her while keeping out of her circle.
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I already don't talk to her. Here's what happened, the other night my brother called me and said mom needed to go to the ER. Well it was almost time for me to go to bed, and I was a little irritated because I was tired. Thankfully Josh was home, so he was very nice and helpful to her. Anyways, we put supper aside so we could take her. I pick her up, first thing out of her mouth is, "Just so you know, I'm a little p*ssy". Okay, so I kept my mouth shut, the entire time. I slept for 3/4 of the time we were at the ER. We get her home, Josh walks her to the house. Next morning I get on FB, and there she is complaining about me. Complaining because I wasn't all smiles and happy that I had to take her to the Er. The entire world revolves around her. She is bipolar, and seriously crazy. None of my friends or family (aside from my hubby) see this. They ALL think I'm making it up. And that I am the one who causes the trouble. Instigator.
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And it's so frustrating. Some of my mom's friends that she's been friends with since I was very little, don't see who she truly is, and STICK UP for her. Even when I was younger. I was a terrible person when I was little. I didn't do enough around the house. I didn't raise my brothers right. I didn't comfort her enough when she was upset. I didn't do ENOUGH. I'm a child, how much more could I do?
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Cj, do you want to just vent? Sometimes that's what I want; I don't want my sister to try to fix it, just listen to me. I'm here, ready to just listen if that's where you are right now.
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Want to know what she did to my baby brother? Okay, he dropped out of highschool when he was 17, and he couldn't stand my mom, so he moved in with my hubby and I. One day we were talking and he told me he wanted to go back to school and finish. I was so proud of him. I told him we needed to go talk to mom so she could get the paperwork ready and enroll him. We get to my mom's house and I say to her, hey mom Jake has something he wants to tell you. So he told her, and asked her to go do his paperwork for him. She turned to him, and gave him the most evil face and said, Um I don't have time, you need to go do it yourself. And I have no money so you need to buy your own d*mn school supplies. I freaked out on her koi. NO-ONE talks to my baby brother like that. So we went and got him enrolled, and I bought him the bare nescessities for school. What kind of mom is that? Why can't I stand up to her, where I'm concerned, but have no problem doing it where my brother is concerned?
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From here, it looks like you might be having trouble really assimilating the fact that your mom is not a healthy person. She is bi-polar, and I'd bet my last dollar that you know a lot about that. It is futile to expect her to behave like a normal, healthy person, and you are setting yourself up for failure when you do so. What she is and who she is are things you cannot change. For some reason, I wish I knew why, many females can protect their "children", but are reluctant to protect themselves. In my unprofessional opinion, it is because some of us don't think we are worthy of being protected.
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That's very true. And I guess I don't know as much as I'd like to about Bi-polar. Maybe that will help me with how I'm feeling. Think they make a book about living with a bi-polar parent?
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http://www.amazon.com/The-Bipolar-Disorder-Survival-Guide/dp/1572305258 I only know if a person who is bipolar doesn't take their medication, they are out of control.
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Tons of books on this illness listed on that site.
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That's what is happening right now. She doesn't have the money to take them, so she stopped. And I agree, all these bad things she does, is when she's off her meds. And it makes it really hard to stand her, when she is on her meds, knowing all the things she does to me when she's off them.
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Get yourself some of those books from the library and find out how to survive your mother's abusive behavior. You don't deserve to be treated this way, and you have a right to distance yourself when she is in attack mode. Have you thought about whether or not you are co-dependent? I know I am.
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What exactly is that?
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Commonly seen behavior in adult children of alcoholic parents, co-dependency is trying to control/protect a person to prevent bad things from happening to them. Really terrifically difficult to define. I'm going to give you a site to refer to. I do not agree with all of the statements on it, but it gives one a good place to start understanding what is going on. I think you might find tremendous help by finding an Al-Anon, or other 12-step program, and getting some support for how to deal with your mom. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-codependency.htm

It seems like you feel responsible for her, but you cannot get her to let you help her be healthy, nor does she reflect back to you any gratitude for your tremendous efforts to please her. She feels powerful when she withholds affection from you, and you can't figure out how to please her. This failure to please or protect causes a feeling of failure on your part and you get down on yourself for not being good enough. Seriously, Cj, my friend, this is a challenging cycle, not unlike an abusive marriage without the honeymoon phase. Because she is your mom, you don't feel like you have control, so you are responsible for a very naughty child, but don't have the authority to force her compliance with the rules. You deserve better than this. Okay, enough of this lecture.
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Thanks fishy. I'm actually reading a part of a book on amazon, that really describes my relationship with my mom. I'm going to order it. It's pretty much on 100% of what I've dealt with. "Survivng a Borderline Parent: How to heal your childhood wounds and build trust boundaries and self esteem". Can't believe how accurate it is.
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Bravo! I'm sure it'll help!
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This book is crazy accurate. Can't wait to get it. I'm still reading through it right now.
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Thank you fishy, for listening.
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You are always welcome, Sistergirl. It would be helpful to me, if we talk again along these lines, for you to tell me if you want advice, suggestions, or just want to vent. I have to know these things if you have a preference, I'm a fix-it girl if you don't tell me otherwise. My husband and I have this agreement. I didn't do as much listening as I did trying to help fix-it. Did you have a preference this time?
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I guess venting, because now I feel so much better. I didn't intend it to be that way.
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Sometimes we just have to go with what happens, our hearts know even when our heads don't. Glad I could help.
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That's very true. Thank you very much for listening.
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High fin for the Cj! ~|~
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SuperGeek64

Voice acting.

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Doing math...

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Good goal!!!
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Join the French Foreign Legion.....and then take over half of civilization.

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Ask out my best friend.

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Aww sweet :D
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Thanks!
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Heal people, from their broken hearts to their bodies; protect animals. Guess that's two, but they're both good ones...

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The way to establish peace worldwide,

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equality, no racism, no war, backflips and skydiving

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Get married and stay married for 60 years. But I might try that anyway. lol

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Sleeping

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I hate sleeping. No offense
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why should i take offence on that? its something everyone does
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Be crazy :D:D:D
sky diving
scuba diving
write a novel
ride a dolphin
set world records
THE LIST IS ENDLESS!!!!

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Eat a piece of cheese

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Work as a song writer .

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Being my country self, which I already do. CJ stole my stinking answer.... XD

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