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I've broken up with my gf after a 3 year relationship because of her parents. They control her way to much and it has ruined my life....

Ok, so I started dating her at 15 and she was 14 going on 15. we date behind her parents back because they are super strict. at the end they found out and I stood my ground saying I would remain her bf no matter what they say. her mother challenged me by telling me that whatever I'm experiencing is puppy love and that if I wanted a real relationship with her daughter to wait until we were both 18. as of today's date....three years later. she controls our relationship still. my now ex-gf lives and pays her own apt and her own bills all except the new car her parents use to hold her up against. my gf's apt is about 60 miles from where I live cuz that's where she goes to college and she comes down to her parents house on the weekends cuz that's the town that I live also and she visits me....sometimes only when her parents allow it. they control when she talks to me and when and where she goes with me. she is the only person I wanna be with but I have to let her go because she refuses to stand up for herself. and that has caused her to not give me the affection I desire out of my relationship. what can I do??? we've dated since freshman year and i still love her. but it isn't right for me to keep letting myself get pushed around like some kind of little 12 year old. I have proven to her parents that I'm serious. I kept my word to her mother who had lost her challenge by doubting me I wouldn't last a year with her. I've spoiled my gf with diamonds and gold with my hard hustled money just to see her smile on Xmas. I miss her so damn much when she's away and when she comes to town her parents don't let her go out with me. I've never gotten high, or drunk, no tattooes, clean shaved and clean cut. I'm a really nice guy. she sees how bad this has effected me, but acts like its my fault. I just wanna spend time with the person I love the most, is that too much???

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dustee

Ricki Lake is back on TV she loves showcasing this type of "drama".

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Haha thanks I needed the laugh
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dustee
you are welcomed :)
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Sorry to hear that. It's very difficult for someone to break free of lifetime training. I understand you losing patience but I would be very frank and calm.
" I love you dearly, I've done everything your parents asked and I'm still some kind of villain. I just can't live my life this way. I'm so sorry."
Sometimes what a person needs is an objective view of what seems normal to them.

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From your pov do you think I need to understand her needs, or she needs to realize that the solution is within her?
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And as I have said before, I have broken up with her already. It makes me feel like a joke after all the things I have done, the time and effort I put fourth feels like it was wasted.
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Although I started life exactly like you, I got along great with the parents who bacame my In Laws. I think that you need to realize YOU are not the over riding issue here. (Although you may think so!). The daughters sneaking around, disobeying and lying are stronger factors here. Yes. She IS 18 now. So are you prepared to pay her rent, pay for the car and her tuition? There are other issues here that you are not objectivly considering. I think that after Re reading your post that you feel you have 'bought and paid for affection'. Sorry. It is more than that. It sounds as if she was 'woken up' to the future. Getting occasional bling and going out and getting (p)aid are NOT preparing her for a future while living at Mom and Dads.
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I will more than pay for anything she needs I love her an will care for her. Financially and spiritually.
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And disobeying??? She isn't a animal
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Both. She needs to realize that the solution lies within her and you need to understand that it takes time to break free of parents. Sometimes parents are the worst thing to happen to a child. She's 18? She doesn't really have enough experience of normal lives/normal relationships to know what's wrong here.
Sorry things went bad for you. Damaged people take great patience.
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When you have kids, you will see things differently. When a kids is living under the patents roof they must Obey. There is no obligation of a parent to provide whatever a kid wants. Obviously the girl has issues with wanting 'more' than you can provide. Right or wrong, this is the way she feels. Why do you think she feels this way?
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I believe it's only fair if you give her time to make up her mind. Pressurizing her to stand up herself might bring drift between her and her parents, which she seems to be avoiding. Let her know that you've given her time to make up her mind because she's of age now. Wish you well.

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I have given her a year I'm about to be 19 and she is about to go 19 as well
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Idk if I could do another 365 days
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It's NOT what you can 'do'. Lose that thought. It's what is good for the two of you. Obviously she has other ideas of what is best./
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Good answer. Her parents have no idea what a nice guy is. Giving it a break might work in his favor.
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I see, thanks for the help
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I will counter with this: Her parents understand exactly who the guy is. The guy can't pay for: Rent, Tuition, Electricity, Gas, Food. Giving a Girl Bling and wanting to 'get paid' is NOT quite the same as actually paying for life.
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Hmm you guys are totally disregarding I own a business with my father and I make roughly $40,000 a year
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you didn't say that! But, in all honesty, isn't it up to Her? Probably more than you?
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But, 40 a year isn't much higher than Poverty level for 2!
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Didn't you know we nice guys finish last.....

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Haha....oops I mean hohoho
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Honestly, maybe if you stopped acting like a 12 year old; you wouldn't get pushed around like one. You need to talk to her about standing up to her parents and put your foot down about it, and if she refuses to listen tell her it's either her tight leash her parents have her on or you the love of her life. And when her parents say something rude and out of the way you need to quit just taking it! Stand up for yourself also say : I treat your daughter right, and I have no intention to hurt her! But all you people do is put me down and say evil things to me! The same way you said I wouldn't last a year with your daughter! Well I did! And that should at least give me some level of respect in your eyes, but it doesn't! And I don't know why! Whatever strict leash you have on my girlfriend, you need to let go! Because she is a grown woman now, and you can't boss her around like she's 12! All I do is love and love and lover her and all you people do is keep her away from me! I'm putting 100% and you don't even care!" Then walk out with your head held high they'll respect you then. but since you broke up with her it's to late leave it alone.

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Been there... Little brother, you need to call it quits. She may never cut those parental bonds, and she's in college without you. She knows she has you, letting her go might make her make a decision. But don't hold your breath. Sorry.

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Tell her parents or tell your gf to tell her parents that need to let the two of you to go out together and they are not your bosses

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Parents could have pressed charges at some point, consider that b4 assuming u want better for her than her parents. Besides if u broke up with her u don't really have a problem anymore.

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