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My fiance has been out to the bar several times with people and not once have i gotten to go with him. Is that fair?

If you want more info ill give it to you.

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dustee

Don't rush into marriage....give it some time. "YOU" know the truth!

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i dnt think marriage is for me anyways so its huge question mark.
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dustee
ma'am please wait.... I'm pretty sure, but I could be wrong...he does other things that are not in line with including you..
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Not to many things except that. The only other thing he dont include me in is when he goes to he friends house and ive been there enough times to know whats going on and they talk bout crap im not interested in so.
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8)
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dustee
just don't rush into it....and good luck.... ;)
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No, it's not fair.

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Sounds like he's seeing or hoping to see someone else.

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If he is seeing someone i already know who she is because she works with him and that just means he down graded.
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You need to confront him or plan an escape route. If he's up to something now, marriage may not be for you. Sorry.
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You kniw whats really sad.......the fact that im prepared to be let down by him.
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You need to do what's best for you and your children.
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Im tryin to give this bar thingg a chance but if he keeps going without me then im done pretending.
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If you're correct and he is trading down, you can do better.
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I dnt have complete proof that hes cheating so im not makin any drastic movements until i no for sure.
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Fair? That is not the right word. For you to even be asking this question - - - it is time for you to move on.

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Its hard to do because i really do love him and i have two kids by him.
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Why hasn't he married you yet?!
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That sure doesn't sound like someone I'd want to marry...... Getting married and having children does not change someone's behavior. You may want to take a serious look at this and reevaluate your situation or at least post pone things for a while.

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Trust me ive been holding off to see if i want to be extremly long term with him, mostly cause he is set in certain ways and he is so stubborn. I love him to death but idk if he is worth the hassle anymore.
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I was young and silly and that's what happened with my first husband. It only got worse after we were married and had a baby. We divorced when my son was an infant and I was a single mom for five years. He's been married and divorced twice since then and I have been married to my wonderful hubby for 21 years. Deep in your heart you know if it's not right. Don't be in a rush and wait for the right man. Being a single mom was hard but not impossible. Good luck...... only you know what's right for you.
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Thank you Imma see what he has to say today after work before i make a final decision.
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dustee
good....no great advise... ma'am please please please wait...
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Hope all goes well for you either way!!!!!
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Thanks Dustee.... peaches for you today!!!!!
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I love him very much and want things to work but if its not ment to be then its time to move on and deal with the more important things.
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Noo is not u should go out w ur girlfriends to drink. No guys or that will get him jealous

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Because of the place we moved i cant find a good person to hang out with because most people that live around here are on dope or alcoholics, that include the young kids around here.
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I say have a serious talk w ur fiance
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So he told you that you can't come? Sounds pretty weird to me.

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Make love to him to night. Show him how much you love him. Maybe he'll stop this. If you don't wanna make live or can't for monthly reasons, tell him how much you love him.

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Do not EVER let a guy know how much you care! Not unless you want to run him off!
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Im a guy and I don't think is fair. Two things: 1. If he keeps going out and NEVER invites you, you might want to check in on that. Just sayin'. 2. You should just go out with your girlfriends. Girls night out. :)

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well he tries to use the excuse that me being pregnant is why i cant go or that the bar isnt a good place for me. When he does go its with family or men co-workers.
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As a man I always say to any man "if you let your girlfriend or wife go to a bar/club where I am then you don't want her" bc I am going to talk my way into her. Now turn that the other way. If you let him go to a bar by himself then you don't want him. It's not his fault...you just letting him get away with it. Either stop it or leave him before some one else talk her way into him and snatch him from you. Good luck.

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Im pregnant and thats his excuse of y i cant go or he takes family or men co-workers.
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You're pregnant!!!! A bigger reason for him not to go out and stay with you supporting and loving you for having his child. He should be proud of you and give you everything you want and need rather than going out to bars and risking getting into a situation that later on he'll regret.
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Well he thinks because he works and pays bill he deserves to go to the bar.
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No love...sorry but a man place is his home and family and if I am going anywhere then let my stronger side (my girl) come with me. Question: What if he gets hurt or even killed in a bar fight (God forbid not) but for the sake of this discussion then what are you gonna do and how will you feel knowing that at one point in your life (if you love him) you will probably blame your self!!!!
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Well hes a man and he think just because he pays the bills and makes the money he can do what he pleases and which thats fine to a certain point. The last few times hes been to the bar ive asked him to stay but he goes out anyways so i do what im spost to.
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fritzmerde

My wife & I go out together but there are plenty of times when she'll have a ladies night out. I'll go to the sports bars to watch games without my wife. You have to have some time away from each other. It's just a matter of trust, If my wife is out there bumping ugly, not much I can do about it, and the same goes for me. So if you are in doubt, DO NOT get married. More often then not your instincts are right.

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Well if you wife was pregnant would you still let her go?
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fritzmerde
Sure, she's a big girl, she knows what she can and can't handle
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Im the sameway and thats what i dnt understand he knows that i handle anything if needed.
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fritzmerde
If you're being excluded from things now, just wait until you're married. It never gets better, but it can get much worse. Alot of guys feel that once married you're their property.
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LOL i know i seen the samething happen to my mom and grandma and im doing my best not to turn out like them.
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Okay, so I read one of the comments, of his excuses like you being pregnant.. Did he do this before though? Before you got pregnant. If he goes out with his family then maybe you shouldn't worry. Guys do need their space at times, and the bar helps.

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he went with his aunt last night and shes the type to cover for him.
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If you believe that something is going on then you need to say something. If you can't trust him in your relationship, then you don't need to be with him. A relationship is built on trust, without that there is nothing.
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I know and im doin my best to trust him but he makes it hard sometimes.
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Just sit down and talk to him about it, tell him not to over react because it's just a simple question, and that you want complete honesty in your relationship. If you really wanted to dig deep because you can't trust him, just show up at the bar sometime and say you wanted to do karaoke or something.
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Not fair

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No. dump him.

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Its easier said then done considering i have a little girl with him now and a baby on the way.
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kazarina
It's because of your kids that you need to find the strength to dump him if he is a loser & being unfaithful.
I have left looser fathers twice with a newborn baby. I at 6weeks old & 1 at 7 weeks old so I know twice over it ain't easy but when this second baby comes along I hope you realize your children (not to mention you) deserve better than him. My kids are 32 & nearly 18. It's a hard road but not an impossible journey to travel. Good luck.
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Fair ??? If you're talking about this as being a regular activity .. not just going out with buddies on a rare occasion once in a while .. then I'm thinking your problem is a little deeper than being fair. What are you .. 10?

If you are engaged to be married, than you have to stop thinking like a child .. This has nothing to do with being FAIR .. THIS has to do with the fact that he doesn't like to socialize in your company .. Doesn't that tell you ANYTHING?

You are not being treated like a partner, or even his friend .. but a subordinate. He dictates to you what he is going to do .. and what YOU are going to do. End of discussion .. If that is your idea of "love" .. then you may want to do a little more research on the subject.

His controlling treatment may be tolerable to you .. but, if it were me, I wouldnt' want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me.

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It's not unfair. The bar scene is likely how he vents frustration from home life. If ur there so is some of the frustration. Talk to him and find out the reason he doesn't want u there b4 jumping to conclusions.

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No it's not fair and suspicious

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kazarina

If you want to know the truth. Get a friend of yours who he doesnt know to follow him & report back. If its all above board then relax but if he's doing wrong by you & your kids. Pack up & go. No if's but's or maybe's End of discussion. And yes it is that simple. I have done it & I don't have a license or a car. I got family & friends to help me move mine & my kids belongings out of there. Good luck.

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Is he a player in other areas ?
Maybe he's a big fat flirt. He can't do that while you're there.
He may not be a cheater though.

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Is he KEEPING you from going, or have you just not gone because you haven't wanted to? If he is forcing you to let him go alone, then he obviously has something to hid. Why wouldn't you want your man or women to relax and have a drink with you, unless you had something to hid?

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If he is not letting you go with him then maybe you should talk to him about why. Dont argue it'll make him want to go even more. Try planning a evening with him having dinner and drinks just you and him and if he blows it off for the bar you should look into it but if not then thats your chance to talk to him. It could also be that he's getting nervous and just enjoying being single before the marriage. Not single like meeting girls maybe just being a guy and stuff. But if you trust him and he has never given you reason to not trust him you shouldn't worrying..best answer would try talking to him..

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