Grief is a process, it may not feel like it but it will get better. Grief is a part of life, remember the good times with whom you grieve. If your a believing person it will help to pray. It will help to write down your thoughts and to get over the anger part of the grief.
If I need to, I make a pact with myself. Ie I won't cry cos he's not worth it & if I feel like I'm going to, I remind myself that I will not allow anyone to bring me down & so then I get on with the changes I need to do to get back on track. but if it's over a death, then I cry as much as I need to, to cleanse my self of the distraught feelings I'm going through.
It wont just clear up right away it will take time...all i can say is dont hold in your feelings if you feel the need to cry then cry if you need to talk to someone talk to the closest person to you tell them everything that you are feeling so you kno that you are not alone
Typically....I cry for a little while...then I get mad....then I talk to someone and cry with them....then cry a little more. It is a process...it is okay to cry, it is okay to be mad, it is okay to be confused, it is okay to talk to others, only time heals our wounds...just talk to someone about it if you need to, it isn't healthy to bottle your feelings...ultimately, the talking about it is the thing that helps me most...
1 year ago
Last edited at 7:02PM on 12/20/2012
It is a bitter lesson each of us must learn, as we lose our older family members, our beloved pets and anyone close. My advice as a long, long time survivor of grief, is to KNOW it will never go away. Therefore, embrace it as a part of the love for the lost one. Squeeze and hold it close. Because your love was profound, so is the grief. To attempt to erase it is as wrong as the attempt to dispel the love you feel—here, now, in the present—for the lost one. Grief holds hands with love.
There are different "stages" of grief. I had to learn this when my 24 yr old daughter lost her husband (of only 2 years) very unexpectedly...Stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Each person deals with death in their own ways. There is no "time limit" on how long each person grieves. Cherish the memories of the lost loved one. In my personal experience it never "goes away". It becomes more bearable over time. I ended up getting my daughter a grief counselor, who suggested her to keep a journal, and write everything she was feeling. I was amazed at how what she was writing went hand in hand with the stages of grief. That, time and prayer helped her immensely.. One of the biggest mistakes I have heard as well as seen people do, is to urge a person to "move on" or "get over it". They are not you, therefore each deals with each situation differently. Thoughts and prayers to you....
Most of those who have responded to your question have offered a variety of fairly sound advise. What works for some often doesn't work for others. So all I can offer is what has always helped me personally. More often than not, there are others who are facing the same loss - a sibling, a parent, a relative or friend, all grieving over the same individual that you are. My way of "handling" my own grief has always been to support and comfort those who seem to be dealing with it less efficiently than I am. Being there to help others get through it is what helps me to get through it myself. In other words - helping others deal with their grief helps you to deal with your own. God bless.
I cry, I sleep a lot, I neglect myself for awhile, then I come out of my cocoon and reach out and talk to people about how I feel, I try to surround myself with loving caring people who let me deal with things and don't rush me to stop grieving.
There are many different ways or coping mechanisms to get through grief. But they vary so much from person to person and situation to situation that what may work for one person in one situation may not work for someone else. If you are grieving with the loss of someone you know, then you might want to just allow your self to go through the process. Again, it may take some time. If so, you may want to research the 7 Stages of grief on-line or at the library to find suggestions on actual coping mechanisms. Also, how about reaching out to someone close to you. If you just need someone to listen to you or vent to, then ask that person if they could be there for that. Or you could ask him or her to just spend some friendly, quality time with you because being alone with your grieving and thoughts may just take it's toll on you. You also might want to look back at past instances with grief and try to recall what or if anything worked for you back then. So I guess what I'm trying to say, in short, is find what works best for you. I hope this was helpful. I wish you the best.