A copy of the album Painkiller by Judas Priest and a bunch of iPod and chargers with solar panels. Because even the Mayans should be able to appreciate that much epicness (no one can beat Judas Priest).
I'm a Mayan agent. Send me $1 million in a cashier's check, and I'll see what I can do. I'm just thinking if you're dumb enough to fall for all this Mayan BS, then maybe you're dumb enough to fall for my offer.