Desparado has some good ideas but your hairdresser may be able to help you.
I used to have the same problem and when I talk about it to my barber he suggested a different hair style. Take a look at my profile picture and you'll see that I NEVER have problems ruffling my hair any more. Just get a razor, and a tub of hot soapy water, and away you go.
I'm thinking about doing the same thing for my beard. It gets into a terrible mess. :)
My hair is long so I braid it at night or put it in a low pony tail with a loose band (one of those that have gone out of style for wearing in the light of day...lol).
The very best thing, and I have several, even take one when I travel, is a satin pillow case. You can buy just one at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I like them so well that I buy them in the linen section by the pairs as it is actually cheaper. You will love this idea...my hair is never messed up in the morning (well, OK, sometimes it is...*big smile* and 'nuf said).