There was once this boy who thought dissings blonds was funny, he grew up to be a comedian. He was very succesfull in life, whenever he had a gig he could almost guarntee that a blond would laugh. Problem was if there were no blonds in the crowd noone would laugh.
"As you know, the world is supposed to end on Friday. The bad news, today China said they want their money right now, Thursday at the latest." -Jay Leno
"The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts." –Jay Leno
"Christmas is on Tuesday, provided that the world doesn't end on Friday, which is the end of the Mayan calendar. Some believe there will be massive earthquakes and floods. Others think a planet will collide with the earth. I believe the end of the world will come about in a much stupider way, like Joe Biden spilling a Mountain Dew on the nuclear launch panel." -Jimmy Kimmel