Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit

What would you do? Read on

my ex and I have shared custody, 4 days here then 3 days there. every year at Christmas my kids take the majority of their stuff over to moms them its never seen from again. toys, clothes etc. I can see something's like laptops, phones but even dolls and toys and stuff them the kids tell me that their mom cleans out the toy boxes when the kids are with me and wen they go home half their stuff is gone. I hate spending on this stuff if she's only gonna trashier or something. I hate telling them no you can't take it but I know the outcome.

Report as

I would tell her stop going on E-Bay!

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
HopeAlcorn

I think you should tell your kids to keep the toys that you give them at your house and the toys that their mom gives them at their moms house.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
That's what we try but sometimes they really wanna take something over and I feel so bad telling them no it had to stay, plus their mom too tres this crap like "oh I see how you care about the kids, you won't even let them play with their stuff unless you can watch them". It's like whatever you win just shut up! Hate that woman
Report as
Add a comment...

Tell them they are allowed to take only one or two things, and the rest will be there when they come back. They will soon learn that it is actually a plus for them to leave things with you if they want to keep them.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
That has worked before, but still it sucks knowing what you spend on stuff and how that means nothing to her
Report as
Add a comment...
just_saying

Since you have shared custody, why not leave the things you buy at your house. Then they don't have to bring things with them. If that doesn't work, I'd think long and hard before I bought things she won't let them keep.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (5)
Report as
That what I try to do but kids always ask to take stuff over there, so I wonder if they like have nothing to do there and that's why they take stuff
Report as
Hi there Ms D. Hope you're having a wonderful Christmas holiday!
Report as
just_saying
I am, Mr. T. I am out of school this next week and hopefully I can get caught up on some paperwork!
Report as
Paperwork? No Ms D!!! It's Christmas! No more paperwork until you go back to work! LOL
Report as
just_saying
Are you kidding me? I am swamped with paperwork! I will gladly give up a couple of free days if I can focus and complete some of the paperwork!
Report as
Add a comment...

You have no choice. You have to explain to your children that you try to provide them nice and fun things but they'll be lost and they won't have them anymore if they take them over to their moms. It would be different if the kids were actually able to enjoy the things that you provide for them, but if they go back and they're gone it doesn't benefit anyone. it's kind of like throwing things into a bottomless pit.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
That's how I feel, I mean it isn't as if you buy it today and 2 days later its gone, but it usually is missing within 6 months to a year. Clothes, toys, everything that mom think they haven't used is trashed.
Report as
She should have the respect for you as a parent to take care of the things that you spend your hard earned money on. Do you think she's doing this to get back at you for something in some way? Btw, I respect the fact that you do take care of your kids the way you do. I'm in a similar situation.
Report as
Add a comment...

When my grandkids come to see me they know exactly where there toys, books and art supplies are and they are happy to have them again. The rule is; the stuff gramma gives them stay at grammas house. They are use to it and do not question it.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
That's how I feel, I've let them take a few things but I keep stressing that they gotta bring it back next week. So far so good.
Report as
Add a comment...

You said it yourself, you know the outcome, so save yourself the aggravation and keep their things at your house. It's perfectly reasonable.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
Luckily it seems they are starting to catch on and keeping or bringing stuff to my place lately.
Report as
As long as you're happy, you sound like a good and caring dad.
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer
Popular Searches