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Ex-girlfriend ignites old flame...

Unexpected surprise. Ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago is back in my part of the world. She went away to a mental-health facility, after a suicide attempt. (Her ex-husband was very abusive.) Now she's back, and appears to be a diff woman; stable, but on anti-depressants & anxiety medications. I've been kind to her, but she wants to re-ignite "us." Any suggestions? Especially if you've been in her shoes? Is it likely women like her will fall apart again? Can she become the vibrant, confident pistol she once was? (assuming I'm a good man, which I'd like to think I am, and am completely supportive).

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JollyRogre, I truly believe it depends on if she stays on her meds. My mom has been in your ex's shoes. She's got mental issues, and has too been in and out of mental health facilities. Now I can't tell you from a dating perspective (obviously) but I can tell you on a Mother daughter perspective. I can stand to be around her when she's on her meds, but if she doesn't take them, she's back to that "crazy" person who belongs in the psych ward.
More or less what I'm saying is, your playing with fire. Do your research on whatever your ex was diagnosed with. My mom, has all kinds of mental disorders, bi-polar, borderline personality disorder, manic depressive, etc. Just do your research.

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Ohh, good call CJ! Hadn't thought if the research angle.
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Hook up

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her past wont matter if you love her enough. and if you do something wrong it might trigger it again, depends. but if you are not into her, dont start anything, she has been thru enough

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Good call. I'm "into her," always was. But had to let go when she snapped.
Held her as she was bleeding out (waiting for an ambulance), and stayed with her in the lock-down unit for 48hrs until they took her away. Forever, I thought.
In my 46 yrs of experience though, love is never enough to conquer all obstacles. It helps, but can't do it alone.
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well, hugs dont pay bills, so yeah, love is never enough for everything. but if you love her, do you think its worth being with her?
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Hmm, assuming she doesn't relapse. I understand occasional blue periods, but I fear she might become a constant trauma case. But in all fairness I have no experience with mental illness/domestic abuse victims, and am not qualified to pass judgement.
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if you do love her, then give it a shot. if she falls again, then maybe you can leave her if you dont think its cut out for you
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Not in my heart to hold that exit-door for myself. It wouldn't be fair to her, and I couldn't bear adding to her pain. If I commit, them I'm in to the end.
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you sir are awesome, she deserves someone like you. if you are really that good, i dont think she will slip again
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i like where this is going. kinda like a movie where she might go crazy when you tell her you don't want to go out while she's cutting cabbage. then once you say it she stops and goes to you with the knife saying: I'm sorry what was that? :). ohhh!! i wish i was there!

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Funny, in a twisted sort of way.
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You sound like a good man. I'll tell you straight, I suffer from depression, and have done for many years. I take my meds and they help. The other thing that helps me so much is my husband. He is there for me any time of the night or day, he holds me, listens to me, comforts me, supports me, and tells me I'm going to be fine. He is my rock. I haven't dealt with the issues Cj's mom has, so I can't speak to those problems, I haven't tried to kill myself, though if thinking about it counts, I'm in. Can you build a healthy symbiotic relationship with this lady, will she be there for you and support you when you need her? Will you be there for her and support her when she needs you? Do you want kids? What kind of mother would she make? (con't)

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If her medications are a permanent feature, and she is committed to staying on them, that's a big deal. I do not have the wisdom to tell you what to do, I can only raise the questions I would ask if I was in your place. In this case, your heart may say one thing and your head another...keep talking to them until they reach an agreement, and then do what is right for you. (Being right for you might not be what she wants, but it might also be what will help her the most too. I am happiest when I am helping other people in a healthy way.) Good luck!
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Good call. Excellent input. Thanks!
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You are welcome! Most welcome!
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I've been in your position. From my experience I wouldn't get romantically involved. She was a totally different person it didnt work out and it was very painful for both if us.

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What happened? Did she relapse into an irreparable basket-case?
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It was a bad break up. I felt awful but she just wasn't the same person. I can only speak from my experience. Best advice is to take it very slow. Let her know right up front that's what you're doing.
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