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kazarina

Would you lie for a best friend even if it meant you got caught out for lying & suffered a punishment & they didn't.

or would tell them you aren't in the habit of lying even for yourself, let alone another person.

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My Grandmother always taught me, "Those who will lie for you, lie to you." Very wise woman! :)

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She was wise indeed, as are you Rev, but not always true. I guess the exception proves the rule. I never, ever lie to my friends, but I would lie to protect them from harm. This applies mostly when the harm I'm protecting them from is not the law. In other words, I don't like to think I'd lie and break the law, but to protect them from another mean person, in a heartbeat.
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kazarina
Yes & they would never do for you what they ask of you to do for them. Your grandmother's a very smart Lady.
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kazarina
Hi Koichan, yes I understand the protective mode turns on for your child's protection or another who doesn't have the ability to protect themselves from a bigger or unscrupulous force to be reckoned with. And as usual you have the kind heart that makes it such a pleasure to hear your response after posting a question.
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Aw, thank you so much Kazarina, you always validate me and I feel it!
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Thank you. Thank you for being the exception! :)
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Thank you for returning Rev. Where have you been, I've missed you.
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I've been here, just not as "vocal". Thanks again for the sentiment. :)
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Okay. I think I'm moving into one of those phases. I'm getting too sensitive.
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kazarina
Isn't it wonderful how we all often come here from completely different walks of life, yet we have lifes knowledge & experiences that can give someone hope, empowerment & maybe a solution to a problem or situation, & if not at least some support or encouragement. That gladens my heart, and then on the other hand we have a minority who
I have a saying for "wisdom is free but waste it not on those that are too blind to listen, as they will only despise you for your attempts to help"
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That has been so true from the beginning, Socrates, I think, drew a picture of people in a pit, trying to get out. Someone on land reached down to try and help people escape the pit and was pulled down into the pit instead. But there's no way to tell who's going to try and pull you down before you stretch out what is intended to be a helping hand? I love your sentiment though.
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kazarina
I have helped many homeless people, over the last 30 years, the majority were under 25. Always younger than me. & every time they ripped me off, from my daughters bedding to money as in $200 -$400 or in emotional support & friendship or both the latter. But I would still help the next one that asked because I always thought" what if my helping hand could help get them back on track & I refused them the chance to do that. " I had friends who would ask me to take in people they knew in, often with a couple of children. Sadly after opening my home to 6 people at the same time a couple of years ago during a very harsh summer & having all of them rip me off by not putting in a small amount to pay utilities & food regularly over the next 5 months.I never asked them for rent (as I hoped they could save for their own rental property ) I now close that door to non family members. We can't sacrifice ourselves for those not willing to appreciate the arm reached out to them as you described.
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I'm glad to hear you are taking better care of yourself. The problem with continuing to help people with no regard for yourself--you might be enabling them to continue using people rather than helping themselves. I love the kindness and giving nature you express, but take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of the one that truly deserves your help and will pass it on. I believe you can trust your instinct if you will listen to it. Terribly difficult to say "no," but sometimes it's the right thing to do. Love, Mom
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Your grandmother was a wise woman!
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kazarina
my son comes back home every Christmas but I am at my happiest when it is just me & the dog alone.
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kazarina
Thankyou for the sensible advice. I am no longer like an open house. I did call my house, the house of friendship but now I would like to rename it ""just the two of us."
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Dogs are so totally awesome. When I lived alone, my pit bull, Nicki, was steadfast, true, and always there for me. How many people can we say that about?
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kazarina
In my life not a man but that's my fault for choosing the wrong men every time. Nowadays I don't make that mistake as I'm not our there after one. Prevention is better than cure. Lol
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You are far too precious to go it alone for very long, I hope you know that. Right now, there is a wonderful man looking for you to walk alongside him in life. Both you and he are busy learning things that will make you better partners. I realize that you think you don't want any more men because they keep breaking your heart...I've been there. When I met my husband, we had both decided no more marriages for us, what was the point, men and women lie to each other and break each other's hearts, we'd had enough of that. But finding him was like being a piece of a jigsaw puzzle walking around, being lonely and knowing something was missing. Then one day, another piece walks up to you and you just both slide into place next to the other one. When you are ready, it'll happen to you. It's like gravity, you don't have to look for it, work for it, or understand it before it works for you. Your soul mate will just come to you and you to him. You do so much good, you have a right to be completely full up and running over with joy...have no doubt.
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kazarina
Well as Doris Day would say" Quey Serra Serra" I haven't spelt it right. Lol
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Strelok

Yes, I would lie to get a friend out of punishment and take the blame. Because I am extremely resistant to adult rule, to the point of threatening to kill those who try to control me when they're not my parents.

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Seek psychological help please
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Strelok
I have done it before, part of my ADHD and Aspergers.
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kazarina
Anxiety would probably exaggerate your anger & lack of control. But you were honest & I thankyou you for your answer.
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I think it would greatly depend on the lie, and who I had to lie to. If it was a lie that would protect my friend, and wasn't to someone I really cared about, sure I would do it without questioning it.
However if my friend did something wrong, and wanted me to lie for him/her, I more than likely would tell them to get lost. I'm not going down for something they did.

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kazarina
Smart move. Thanks for your reply.
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Maybe

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Hi
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I think a real friend, a good friend, wouldn't ask you to put yourself in that position. Depending on the extent of the lie (like a crime or something where I could be jailed), I wouldn't, but even a small lie in which you'd get in trouble for something you didn't even do is not fair for your friend to expect of you. I'd be inclined to tell them what you said in the description, it'll save yourself all the excess worry on top.

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kazarina
Thankyou for your reply. Yes we all need a standard answer that will carry us through life & keep us safe from being accused of something that morally we would never do but cop the penalty for anyway. As we get older we understand that our credibility as a good kind person can be tainted by others with no scruples if we allow it to happen. Thanks.
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My answer to this question would have been a shock to me 20 years ago, I was a straight arrow and seldom even broke the speed limit, let alone tell a lie. Today, I know I would indeed lie for a friend if it meant a great deal to him or her and didn't break the law. In fact, I did lie for one person, lost everything as a result. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat if s/he needed me to do so.

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kazarina
There must be a very special bond there to be willing to loose it all again a second time. Maybe what you saved her from was worth a lot more than you could ever loose.
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You nailed it! I'd die for this person, gladly.
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kazarina
We humans are a special kind of animal. We have protect the pact mentality & we juggle those emotions against our own for survival of the strongest & the fittest. No wonder we get tired. Lol.
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kazarina
On a lighter note Koichan, did you see I changed my profile pic to a koala. I did have a pic of me but it made me feel too exposed to those I didn't know so I thought I would go Aussie. It's a pic out of a famous children's book called Possum magic. Illustrated by Mem Fox.
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My profile pictures just recently came back up, they were blocked somehow for a while. Yes, I see that you have a Koala now, they look and feel very soft, but my mom visited Australia and came back to tell me they are very stinky. She also brought me an opal, beautiful. Anyway, you are a pip, Taz, and i love you...
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kazarina
Yes we are souls of a similar nature I think. It's after midnight again here & I get up for work at 5.30 so I'd better get to sleep. Take care dear friend. Xx
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No. Don't lie for anyone.

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kazarina
When you have a standard rule it's easy to live by it.
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That's right. Just keep it simple. Don't lie, cheat, or steal for anyone.
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Nope

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