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Should I ruin my friends marriage because he slept with the girl I really like it work?

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That's a tough call. If he cheats on his wife he's got it coming. And I feel his wife needs to know. On the other hand if it were me I wouldn't feel right being the one to tell her. It sounds like a fine mess you're in the middle of and I honestly don't know what I'd do if I were in your situation.

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Fred needs to butt out. This guy will hang himself by cheating on his wife, Fred doesn't need to do something low down and dirty to help hang him. Fred needs to walk away with his dignity intact.
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No. He will do that all by himself.

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candybar
Happy new year Bagdad!
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Happy New Year candybar!
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no just deal with it and move on

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It is none of your business.

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No, she won't like you either. Stay out of it. She doesn't sound like the best option. Good luck Phil!

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not only will you lose a friend his wife will think your a jerk which you would be. Sounds like you want this girl but she is not yours to have. myob

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Your so right, ty
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candybar

Would you ruin your "friends" marriage if he slept with someone you didn't care about? Revenge is not a good option in any case.

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This friend has been w a dozen girls, and yes, she's the first one I really liked. And I know his wife and kids well. It's just sad
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No!! A man or a woman that cheats on spouse will hang them self giving enough rope myob.

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And you call yourself a friend? You have no right to willfully try to destroy a marriage. "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder," remember?

Just because you like some girl, and he got there before you, you have no right to try to destroy him. Just act like an adult and move on with your bruised ego. Don't take it out on other people.

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Condone infidelity with reference to God. Your pathetic!
Believing God put them together to wed is one thing but to advise him not to interfere even though he cheated on his "God" chosen bride, wow... Pathetic
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You completely misunderstand what I'm saying. I absolutely DO NOT condone cheating. A man who cheats on his wife is a man who will hang himself soon enough. I am simply advising Fred to stay out of it. It's not his place to try to destroy a marriage simply for revenge.
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Sounds to me the marriage is already destroyed, she just doesn't know it yet! As far as it being his place or not is no ones decision but his, I personally would want to know, sooner the better! I would only be upset with my spouse, as for the snitch I'd be grateful for them to have the courage to speak up!
Hopefully no kids are involved, or will be before she finds out!
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Texasdogmom is so wrong!
Basically condoning infidelity so as not to destroy a marriage that God put together! What kind of wacked out belief is that?
Personally I would tell him how pathetic he is, then contemplate telling her! She should know, I sure as heck would want to!
Your call, as far as the other girl... She sleeps with a married man... What a catch she would be!

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Although many relationships end because of infidelity, many marriages have survived it. Some women even know that her husband cheats on her, but for reasons of her own, she chooses to put up with it. It could be for the sake of their children, it could be for financial or some other kind of security, or it could simply be that she loves him and wants to work it out.

Whatever the reason, no one on the outside has the right to pass judgement on her, or to insert themselves between man and wife. Someone who takes it upon himself to "alert" a woman that her husband is cheating on her, might not receive the kind of reception he is expecting. He might be met with anger or hostility, or she very well might not believe it. Whatever her reaction might be, she will most likely end up hating the person who just "had" to tell her.

Besides, guys, most women know when they are being betrayed. A woman's intuition is a very real thing, and dangerous to you, if she is smart enough to believe what her gut is telling her. Few men are as good at lying as they think they are, and almost none of them are smart enough to keep their behavior during the affair, exactly the same as it was before the affair.


By the way, hogless, I would appreciate it in the future if you could keep any disagreement you might have with my answers in the "comments," and not use the "answer" space to attack me. It's just good manners.
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Someone should have told my ex wife and my best friend that!!

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dustee
sorry :( and stardust
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Thanks!! Life is soo much better now though!!
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Yeah well if your motive to tell his wife is because he moved on a chick you wanted to get your infidelic hands on then no it's not your business.

If you on the other hand feel she has the right to know then write her an anonymous letter and at least alert her
To her cheating, scum sucking pig of a husband.

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dustee

Revenge is never an option, and never a wise choice...be very careful no one likes to be betrayed... mmm...

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IF .. you have your facts straight ... You can't 'ruin' his marriage ... HE has already done that.

If however, you are asking if you should tell and let the 'cat out of the bag', and because you want her to know, not because you are experiencing petty jealousy ... well, you just better make sure you KNOW the facts and don't just suspect something.

Many marriages have fallen victim to circumstance created by a revenge from a third party (like you). Don't act on suspicion .. it could be devastating to this couple's family .. and totally unwarranted.

What I would do is talk to this 'friend' .. and I use that term loosely. Let him know that YOU know, and that he has to come clean with his wife because you will not support infidelity.

Remember .. this is a family you are dealing with .. not just a guy would you are pissed at.

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