My boyfriend has got me questioning what I'd always believed to be rape?
So my story starts about 3 years ago at a new years eve party with people I thought were my friends. I was drinking there and remember finishing the drinks I bought with me, I then remember having a glass of goon (cheap cask wine) and after that I black out and the next thing I know I'm sitting on the bathroom floor naked with at least 5 people around trying to help me. I was informed that 2 guys had sex with me although I don't remember that at all. I have flash backs and can see one guys face. and I think I can remember him touching me in the bathroom. but I cannot remember the actual sex or anything . after being told this I cried and cried and one of the guys was still there, I remember punching him in the face and screaming. I then left and walked down the street to go home. after that I didn't leave my house for days and would just cry. I told my mum what happened and when I had to go to work I just cried because I felt so ashamed... I have always considered that what happened was rape, I told my now boyfriend of nearly 2 years and recently he told me he is 'confused' about it. I don't understand what he means by it and he is now ignoring me. I feel hurt that he doesn't believe my story and that he thinks i'm lying. basically he has got me questioning whether what happened is rape? I do take some of the blame. I was stupid and young ( 16 at the time) and I should not have been drinking. but I do not remember drinking enough to have blacked out like that. but I can't change my past and I don't know what to do. he's got me questioning what I have believed for so long... was I raped or was I just taken advantage of whilst drunk and stupid...? I feel really hurt that he would question this and feel that he doesn't support me ... :/