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I found out that my dad is cheating on my mom by looking at his texts, what should I do? Do I tell my mom?

My dad is working in the US, and we're in the process of moving to be with him from the UK, but it's taking a while.
I was using his phone this new year when I looked at his texts and found out that he's been sending these texts to an unnamed women. The texts are dated while we are here visiting. It's heartbreaking to think that while we're here on holiday he just can't wait for us to go.

The first text in the history implies that its not a new thing and they were going to stop, but one text implies he met her while we were visiting, and planning to meet one we go.

It's come as a huge shock to me, because although my parents argue sometimes, and I argue with them, I didn't think he would ever do anything like this.

I'm just 18 and have a 16 year old brother, so he and my mom are the ones moving out here to live with my dad permanently, while I go travelling.
I just never thought this would happen to my family. They've been married 20 years.
My mom has given no indication of knowing. And my dad's phone has recently gained a passcode to enter it that wasn't there before the trip, so I think he is hiding it.
I took photos of the texts. Should I tell my mom?

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coolstorybroo

I think you should tell your mother. That man is no good for your family. Your mom should find someone loving and caring not a user. I would tell her. If you have a problem think of it this way " you have a boyfriend and he is cheating on you " would you not want to know ?

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Tell her!!!!!

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If I was your mom, I would want to know. I would tell her, personally.

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I think you should confront your Dad first, before telling your Mom..But idk, you're in a pickle :/ I'm sorry that this is happening !!

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You should either tell your mother, or confront your father. You could have misinterpreted the texts. Yes, confront your father first.

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Talk to your dad about it first.

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Nope, stay out of it. This is the best advice. It is between them as husband and wife. I'm sorry you had to see those.

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You have to tell her! Even if you love them I'm really sorry to say this

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First you should make sure you weren't taking words in the messages out of context. You didn't mention certain words that could be disputed. You do this by talking to your dad. Then if you do know for sure that he is involved with another woman, you have your dad be the one to tell your mom. If he does not, then you must tell her. I'm sorry about your family situation. BTW, it was not right that you read your dad's texts. That's personal!

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You should tell your dad first. Then tell him HE is to tell your mother by such and such hour because you will be telling her an hour later

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Well I think I would confront my Dad about it and see what he says and get some answers to questions that I know you have , And if it is true I would tell him either you tell Mom or I will !!

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Yes you will want to tell her before you make the big decision of moving to the US, what if you tell her after you move here and they break up. You will be left in a big continent not knowing what to do, and trust me when I say that the US may be great for some people, but for those who are new to living down here it can be misleading. Tell her now, but be gentle when you do because you don't know how she will take it. And most likely your dad may know that you know, thats probably why he got the pass code, but its good that you took pictures.

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Confront your dad first! Then, once you've spoken to him (don't want to give your mom bad information and create a divorce because of nothing at all) tell your mom if it is what you think it is.

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Ask her if she would stay in the UK if it wasn't for your father. ask her if she is going to stay married to dad forever, ask her what would happen if they ever broke up. ask her all the questions you want. but you do not need to tell her about the texts, she will do what she will do and it is better if you are not a part of it.

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Wow. This is a tough one. It's kind of a lose, lose situation. Do you think your mom is stable enough to handle this news? I wouldn't discuss it with your dad first cuz he's going to beg you not to tell. I guess my best advice is to tell your mom. I'd want to know. I hope they can work this out peacefully for the sake of you kids.

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rustyboilerz

Talk to your father first, tell him what you know, see if he does the right thing and tells your mother. If not, show the texts to your mom. Then let the chips fall where they may. Good luck.

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Talk to your dad first. This may be a misunderstanding. Take this slow and don't make emotional decisions that may cause damage.

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You better tell her because he's probroly going to dump her and leave her after she goes out there you better tell her now

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um yeah I would tell your mother that you suspect that he's cheating, and if she doesn't believe you show her the pics.

Sorry about this, cause I know it can be stressful, the same thing happened to meso I know somewhat how you feel...

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Your are seriously stuck and that sucks but if you WANT to take action confront your father first! Ask him if it's true and if so why. Talking with him and reminding him about all the good times with your mother will male him remember. But know this? any action taken COULD speed up your fathers action to stay with your mom or with the other girl. If your father decides to stay with you mom DO NOT tell her anything! It's best she doesn't know if its all done with. If your dad starts leaning towards the other woman, then talk with your mom next. You need to talk about what's going wrong in their relationship. You can either tell her advice or help her try to fix it. OR you can prepare you mom about what your fathers about to or is doing. You also should talk to your brother if he's close to your parents. He should also be prepared. It sucks for you to be in this situation. The same happened to me but it was my mom that cheated and nobody knew until she decided to get a divorce. Good luck I really hope it all works out.

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Tell her

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Lots of different advice on this one, it's a confusing spot to be in, besides it sucks, I would wait to tell Mom and see if it comes out on its own with what is going to come about with you and ur Dad, you can handle it different ways, he may know u know because the code is on there now. Just looking at him a certain way can tell him you know, he will get nervous, and he may do the turn around on you and get mad at u for using the phone. Don't fall into it! You didn't do anything wrong! See what his plans are and ur not sure it's best ur Mom and Brother moves out there! He should be scared! he needs to tell you why should she!
Think about all the different ways this can fall out and whats the best way, you will see signs if you stay calm, but you don't have to go easy on him but for the others u dont want them to feel this hurt unless it for there well being. Blessings to you.

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Tell your mother but tell her not to involve you .. She has the rights to know.. That's your mommy.. :(

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Don't tell your mother, tell your dad what you know, listen to what he says, but then tell him you are disappointed in him and that he has to tell your mother about this before the week finishes because before this move you will be forced to protect her best interests when uprooting her life for him when he is not putting her first.

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Tell your dad first, then your mom. I feel really sorry for you and i hope things work out.

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Ok. Coming from the collective thoughts of an 18 and 19 year old, we have discussed this and think that you should confront your dad. At the same time, it really isn't your place to tell your mom about this. Let your dad know what you are thinking and figure it out with him. Tell him he needs to drop the mistress or drop your mom but that you can't let him keep doing things that can and will most likely hurt her. He cannot have his cake and eat it too.

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text your mom then erase text

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Tell your mom. It's for the best. And also why were you looking through your dads texts? If you have a bf and you do that your bf will be really pissed. Even if he's not cheating.

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Talk to your dad about it. your mom ought to know that too darling. It's also your moral obligation to tell what you know especially so it involves your family..after all, your mom isn't just the one to suffer for that but you and your brother as well. I hope you'll find the courage and right words to make everything alright..we have the same story actually. :( but you'll get over that! :))))

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tell her!!

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My dad cheated on my mom as well. I came across his computer which was logged into his email and well as his account on "sugardaddy.com". He had been hooking up with an unknown number of women. I told my mom. They are now divorced and things are still not very comfortable for any of us to be together. If you are sure of the meaning of the texts I would say tell your mother. She deserves to know. Good luck.

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