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boondox4l

Can you be depressed and suicidal but happy at the same time?

I recently told a friend the other day im suicidal
he said your so happy and have so many friends dont (Bleep) with me like that
so i acted like i was kidding
im happy but just want it all to end nothing you say will change me and dont bring god into this
i just want to know if im truly happy or what im just confused

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boondox41, we've all thought of suicide at one time or another. If anyone says any differently, they are lying or perked up on a lot of antidepressants. Life, in and of itself, is depressing. We all find ways to deal with it. What you are experiencing, is 100% normal. Talking to someone may help you. That is my suggestion. It doesn't have to be a professional (this is recommended) but anyone will work. Just so you can get things off your chest. Sometimes this is ALL a person needs to get over that "hump".

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You just earned a helpful cuz that's so true
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boondox4l
ive talked to several shrinks like 6 of them
and i dont wanna put this weight on my friends
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That's understandable boondox. You obviously haven't found the right professional. Keep looking, don't give up. If you want to talk to a stranger, I'm always on here. I will help the best I can. Maybe trading some real life stories will help you understand what you are feeling/going thru isn't abnormal.
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boondox4l
i wont go threw with it untill my cousin is 18 and grown up
him being alive is the only thing keeping me here
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My name is Chrissi by the way, and seriously, if you want to talk. Go ahead. And if you don't, that's fine too.
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Just because he turns 18, doesn't mean he will understand you "kiIling" yourself. Nor will it be any easier for him.
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boondox4l
my cousin and friend died of cancer
i promised my cousin that i would look after her little brother till he was a grown man
my dads an junkie
mom was/is an alcoholic
and my dad got my uncle killed
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I'm sorry to hear all that crap sweetie. I had a similar childhood. I'm now grown, and I've learned SO much stuff from the mistakes of everyone around me. We live, we learn babe. You can NOT let life get the better of you!
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boondox4l
im just tired of it
i learned what death was by seeing my uncle in a casket and always talked about it while other kids my age played with legos and videogames
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I lost my dad to Hepatitis C. Do you know how a person gets that? Well there are a few ways. He contracted it by sharing drug needles. I once walked into his bedroom when I was 9 years old. He was holding a mirror, and a razor blade. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was cutting up rat posion to leave out for the rats. 9 years old, and I knew what my dad was doing.
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boondox4l
i was very anti social and was like the school cast out
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I was raising babies when all my friends where out playing with barbies and meeting boys.
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Not to butt in but your cousin will still miss you even if he's 18 and he'll still love you. Lifes worth living if you have someone who loves you.
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boondox41, we are SO much alike. That is what I'm trying to tell you. There is LIFE beyond school sweetie.
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boondox4l
yea my dad made me break into a house when i was 9
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boondox4l
idk i have tons of friends now its just that its all fake they think theygoing togrow up and be rap stars and others see them selves as basket ball players
i see my self on the front lines shot and dead
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Okay boondox, maybe this story will make you think. I was 15 and my bestfriend's boyfriend had just broken up with her. I tried to comfort her and be there for her as much as I possibly could. We were two peas in a pod, me and her. I woke up for school, ordinary day, only to get a call from her brother telling me she had committed su1cide. She hung herself, in the basement of her house. Her brother went down there to wake her up, and found her there hanging. Dead. I was torn up. And still to this day, 16 years later, blame myself for her death. Wonder if I was a terrible friend. Why couldn't I save her? WHY didn't I stay with her that night? Why wasn't I there for her? Why did I not return her call right away when she called? All these "whys". They will NEVER be answered. And I'm left having to deal with my best friend's death.
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This right here, is how your cousin will feel. And it NEVER goes away.
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boondox4l
im sorry to hear that chrissi
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I'm sorry I had to go with THAT story right away. But I just want you to know, you will be making things easy for yourself, but in the process you will be hurting A LOT more people than you even know.
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Honestly, this is what keeps me from ever harming myself. Even thou I think about it so much. We aren't much different boondox, honestly some of the things you have said you've went thru, I've went thru. But when I step outside the box, and think about things from other people's eyes, I just can't do it. I could NEVER hurt someone the way my friend hurt me.
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boondox4l
idk realy know of anyone around me who actually cares for me
mom dont
dad wants me dead
i threaten to kill my other aunt and uncle cause they beat my lil cousin
and my friends are all fake
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Well I don't know how much this helps, but I do. I know it can't hold "much" ground since we don't even know each other. But I do. And I wish there were something I could do or say to make you understand that you are more than you're giving yourself credit for.
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boondox4l
like i said i wont go threw with it cause of the promise
and thats the one thing ive never broken in my life
ill wait but if im not happy out of school then whats the point
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Happiness is something you have to find, it's not given to you.
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boondox4l
i know ive looked for happyness
Girl friends
Church
Fighting
Friends
like im happy at times but most im not
thanks for talking to me im going to bed
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Night sweetie.
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Yes

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boondox4l
thanks
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Yes. I'm bipolar and sometimes im super happy and hyper but then i suddenly feel depressed and sometimes suicidal. You might too be bipolar so maybe you want to look into that on google or with your doctor.

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boondox4l
no ive been wanting to die for a while i just cant cause of a promise i made
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soo then what're you asking exactly?
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boondox4l
idk im just so confused
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Its up to you if you're happy but ik what you mean I've felt like that too like my life is good but I still feel depressed sometimes makes me sound selfish but its true and maybe you want to die because you're afraid of the bad things that can happen to ruin your good life because you're not used to it being good no offense btw idk your life.

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I know what ya mean man, where you feel like you can make nothing else out of your life. I don't get suicidal, but I have plenty of those times where I just don't want to be alive anymore... Live for the sake of your loved ones, and the ones you don't know you love yet

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boondox4l
thanks
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RedRose

You are obviously not truly happy. You need to do something if you really do feel like you want to end it. Please, go help yourself.

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TwilightGirl

We all have those moments when we just think... Maybe it would just be easier if we weren't around... I have many a time.... You can be, or you can think of all the things to look forward to in life.... Like, cats.... Because they are adorable

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Yes. Depressed people often hide their depression by always being happy. A local weatherman had committed suicide and suffered from depression. It stunned everyone because he was always so upbeat. The station had done a special on depression afterwards and had an expert explained how many people would hide behind a smile.

I suggest you find a counselor to talk to.

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Yeah. It may be the sign of a mild mental disorder. For example, in some cases of ADD, violent mood swings occur and others allow your mind to contradict itself. Does this help?

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BeautyAndTheJedi

Depending on your age, I would say you were normal. If you are 30, you should see a doctor. If you are a teen or youth, that is not so uncommon. If it gets out of hand, though, see a doctor.

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I was totally shocked by the information that Owen Wilson tried to commit suicide...Owen Wilson! I think acting happy, while actually being depressed is something many people experience. I did it for years because my mom couldn't stand to see me sad. It's much healthier to allow yourself to feel what you feel, and then wait for the next feeling. I went through 5 or 6 therapists before I found the right one, keep looking. Therapists are like partners, you have to find the right one for it to work. Keep trying.

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One of the most important needs for a person to have a fulfilling life is to be, and feel needed. Even with lots of friends and seeming to be happy you can still feel like your life is unneeded and pointless. It's important for you to understand that you are needed by your family, friends and loved ones you know, and have not yet met. It also helps to have a broader purpose by thinking and formulating how you want to contribute to and influence society and humanity as a whole.

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boondox4l
thank you
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Very true answer raven! Star from me!
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I have had my moments but what also helps me is to focus on the next positive or constructive thing I can do now rather than being overwhelmed by imagined worst case scenarios of the future.
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yes....when somone kills themself they dont die on the day scheduled by god/therefore stuck in the atmoshere contantly waiting and walkin and tired UNTILL that day that god set aside for you and you will regret your dicision

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If you really are suicidal you should go see a doctor. They could help you sort through your emotions and make you feel better. Everyone has rough times in their life, keep your chin up!

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yes. I'm the same way. And I believe what it is called is bipolar. you could see a doctor and you should. But if you don't care or don't think its bad enough just go see someone to talk to. ( or if your like me and don't give a jack A$$ you could do nothing. )

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Not that I know of

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