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I need some opinions on the first bit of my new book (part one)

The question “What if the world is not as we know it?” took a completely new meaning to me as I walked through the gates. A sign on the yard said no trespassing. I don’t think that anyone ever paid attention to it. I took in my surroundings, old house, broken glass, tall weeds, and the smell of decay told me that no one had lived here for a while. As I walked onto the porch, I started second-guessing myself. I pushed those feelings aside as I walked through the door. It was very musty inside the old place; a weird fog seemed to cover the ground. I looked for the basement. That was the place I was told to go. When I found the door that led to it, I couldn’t help but to feel as though my skeleton was going to rattle itself out of me. I walked down the creaky old stairs and when I got to the bottom, I found myself staring at a strange contraption. I pulled the note that was handed to me outside. “Pull the red handle to reveal a reality beyond imagination.” “This had better be worth it,” I said to myself. I pulled the handle, and nothing happened. “What the heck?”

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That is cool lol the second part was hilarious in my opinion (my OPINION) I think the story is going a little too fast for me. :)

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explain too fast please, just so i understnd better
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Sorry for the late (very late) reply. What I mean by going too fast is that you should talk about what's going on a little more. Not just rush from one thing to the next, it's quite confusing. I LOVE your book so far and if you publish it, I would be one of the first people to buy it! Good luck! :)
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ok, so slow down on the detailing, and make it so that the person is being described along with his actions more thouroghly to make a better understanding of whats happening?
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Yes! Perfect! Good luck on your book.
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thanks :)
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shockacow

Great I love it! Great in the detail as well! I really want to know what happens now! success! did my ideas help any?

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yes they did in fact, they're helping with my continueation of the storyline
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shockacow
Great! So glad I could help! I think it could turn out to be something phenomenal!
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indeed, and if i get this published, i'll be sure to give you credit too
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shockacow
Aw thanks! I'm just glad to help!
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and you are deffently doing that :)
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shockacow
:) that's really nice! Got anymore chapters finished?
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well, im trying to come up with the next part of this, it's being reviewed by some publisher so as of this moment, i cannot post anything caus under his agreement, it's his work until it's returned to me. im working on chapter two now, in my head though caus none of it is really coming together.
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shockacow
Wow! Good luck!
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thanks dude, or dudette, uhh, lol, idk what to call ya XD
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shockacow
Dudett would be great dude. :)
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allright dudette (and i might call u hommie since im used to that) but anyway, thanks for all your inspiration :)
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shockacow
Your very welcome. :)
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