Question

All > Relationships

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

will my girlfriend really leave me if I go into the military?

I'm planning on joining the military and one of my biggest fears of doing it is leaving then coming back and another guy answers the door to her house, you hear it all the time about how soldirs deploy and their girlfriends leave them without even talling them, we've been togeth about a year and a month now, and we've only talked about it a little and when I asked her she said by the time I left shed be in school worrying about classes and be at the the airport when I get back, but she avoids this conversation and she told me she disnt want me to go but she would support whatever I do, so do you think we could make it through? me and this girl have been through some sh** together and we've been able to stay together through and I honestly love this girl so much that I've reconsidered not joining the military.

Answer This Question

Report as

Answer 1

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone | Last edited at 5:53AM on 1/14/2013

If she really loves you she'll stay, if not then she'll stray (hey that rhymed!) You do realize that if you get married she can live on base with you at your duty station right? If this girl doesn't have the moral fortitude to NOT cheat on you while you're serving your country then you don't need her anyway. Besides, think of your freedom, chicks dig men in uniform, you'll have a whole new world of women to explore. You might get stationed overseas, females in our host nations are nuts for American servicemen, you'll have the time of your life! :-)

Helpful (4) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (16)

Report as

SouthernBoy: 4 months ago

Lol there's only one girl I hope is crazy about uniforms haha :D

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Tony, if he's just joined the service, is it unlikely he'll be able to afford housing that includes a wife, right? Newbies don't get paid all that much. If he's stationed in the U.S., maybe he'd be lucky enough to live on a base with civilian housing nearby. Tough life for spouses, hard to have a career, away from family, poor pay, not the best schools, soldier gone more than typical jobs, not easy.

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

Base-housing is free

Report as

SouthernBoy: 4 months ago

Tony I thought you had to be a certain rank to reside on base

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

No but there's a waiting list, first come firs serve. Single guys live in the barracks (free of course) that's a great way to save up lots of money.

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thanks for your answer:) and thanks for the advice

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

Yes sir :-)

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Tony, things may have changed, but when I was a dependent (hate that word) newbies were not allowed to live in base housing where there were dependents, only in barracks. Maybe that was because we were overseas, but no newly minted soldiers were allowed in base housing.

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

I was in during the late 80's and anybody who was married could put their name on the waiting list. The single guys E-3 and below had to live in the barracks.

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Probably because of the reduction in numbers after the end of the draft. Military=tough life. Poor guys. We used to have them come over for holidays, they were so lonely--broke my heart. We were in Germany. Got to travel a lot though and that was great!

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

Hey I was in Germany too! LOVED IT! But I don't remember any G.I.s being poor, the pay was pretty good but when living on base for free all of your money goes into the bank instead of the rent. Speaking of rent, I was married so they added the rent amount into my paycheck so that was a break-even. Then we got base-housing and I was only an E-3.

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Wow, things changed since I was there! Glad you had it better. Where were you in Germany?

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

Spangdahlem, near the Lux border, base-housing was all the way in Trier, and you?

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Pirmasens. It was close to Kaiserslautern and Ramstein. We were on a ground radio station that was AFCENT, headquarters in Holland. We lived on an army base, although we were Air Force. I'd have given anything to live in Bavaria. We went to France for lunch sometimes. Small world, I'd say. We traveled all the time, few trinkets, but lots of memories.

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

That's funny, I was AF but we had Army guys on the base haha

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Weird world, huh? He was actually stationed on an allied forces site, German and AF.

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 2

SouthernBoy: 4 months ago

She could be avoiding conversations about it, because she scared you'll get hurt and doesn't want you to leave, or she could not want to be separated and is going to leave you. Idk my advice is join the military, any girl that leaves a guy for serving his country isn't worth keeping.

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (7)

Report as

Tony737: 4 months ago via iPhone

Exactly right

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thank you for your answer and I find this helpful in a way, ina try to talk to her more about it.

Report as

SouthernBoy: 4 months ago

Great idea! The biggest part of any relationship is communication! Take it from me! I live in a family where there is NO communication. And I'll be joining the military too

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

I'm going to try to talk to her but again she avoids the conversation and like most of the people on here have said she's probably scared.

Report as

SouthernBoy: 4 months ago

Well be understanding! Try and put yourself in her shoes! It will give you a better out look and make your ambitions more considerate!

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thanks for the advice I'm going to try and work tgings out with her, hopefully it will work out

Report as

SouthernBoy: 4 months ago

Good luck, and God bless :)

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 3

MSarita: 4 months ago

well the question is : does she really love you ?? if she does she won't, if she don't she will :-(

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 4

Samanthav1: 4 months ago

Well first off, do whatever makes you and your heart happy..... Second, If this girl really loves you just as much as you love her then I'm sure everything will work out the way you both want it to.... I'm hoping for the best for both of you....

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thank you and I hope she does one can only hope

Report as

Samanthav1: 4 months ago

You are very welcome..... I wish you both the best... I am glad I could help.. :)

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 5

hershey_kzz: 4 months ago

well my cousin went inot the military and he came back and his wife was pregnant by some other guy but that doesnt mean all girls are like that you have to build a relationship of trust

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 6

madlune: 4 months ago via iPhone

Don't join and be with her all the time if u really love her

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 7

ozzie10156: 4 months ago via Android

You just need to trust her. If you really love each other, then I'm sure she won't cheat on you. You seem a bit insecure though, maybe you should talk it out with a counsler or someone really close to you?

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

I trust her and yesh I'm a little insecure we havnt had the greatest relationship, don't get me wrong I wouldn't change our relationship for anything and we have great memories but its been a little complicated before.

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 8

thatcrazygirl: 4 months ago via iPhone

I think if your relationship is strong enough you can go to the military. If not, it was probably never meant to be but I think she avoids the situation because she is afraid you'll get hurt and doesn't want to talk about it. Keep in close contact. I think you can send mail to each other. Good luck!

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thank you

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 9

YolandaGRL: 4 months ago

She sounds amazing for supporting you. But even though I understand how you are scared, you've got to have a bit of faith in her. If you do end up going to the military, then send her lots of letters about how much you love and care about her

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

I will send her lots of letters she made me promise I would, and I have faith in her you just understand where I'm coming fron right.

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 10

koichan: 4 months ago

Military life is tough on spouses. If you guys get married, it's likely she'll either have to get along without you, or move someplace where she doesn't know anyone. If she's important to you, seriously consider whether or not you want to put her through waiting for you while you are in the service. The military requires big sacrifices on the part of both the service member and his or her spouse. If she's in college, that means she wants a career, she will find that difficult if you're a career military guy, because you'll be moving every few years (probably). Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it because she wants you to be happy and do what is best for you. She's already told you how she feels about it, and doesn't want to unduly influence you. She told you she doesn't want you to go...that's pretty straightforward, maybe you should listen to her and not try to second guess her. Having been a military wife, I can tell you it would not be an easy life for her. If you want to put her first, you won't join the military.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (6)

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Please no hate mail here, I think being in the military to protect our country is a very noble profession, but it is hard on families. She said she didn't want him to go, I'm just pointing that out to him.

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thanks, and I am considering it, but I've also wanted to be in the military since I was 11 maybe ill go to college and if I want to join after college I can go in as an officer.

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Much better idea. That'll give you, and her, a better life because the pay is much better, the living conditions for the dependents are much better, and you will both have better ideas about what you want to do with your lives, where you want to live, and what you are ready to sacrifice for each other. I think it's the perfect answer.

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

ill take it into serious consideration

Report as

koichan: 4 months ago

Good luck!

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thank you

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 11

vinnyp34: 4 months ago via Android | Last edited at 6:14AM on 1/14/2013

Hey go to the military this will opend so many door for you when you come back. Love is good but it don't pay the bills. If she love you then she will be there. It is said that if you truthfully some one let it fly away if that some one come back it was always your if not then it never was. But you are still young so SOLDIER go and complete your duty. God Bless you. I know i been there. O:-)

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thank you for tge comment

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 12

KatieBKate: 4 months ago via iPhone

If you really want to join the military and serve your country and do not and then you two get married, I feel it will always be a barrier between you...a cause of argument etc.: " if i had joined the Army,....".Like if she wanted to do something, but you did not want her to and she did not do it...."I could of been a.....".
In the motary, you can get an education and develop a skill and provide a better life for both of you and your future family. Military people have a sense of pride in themselves and their service to their country. After all of this, if she really loves you, she will want you to do what will make you happy. Good luck and have a Heavenly High.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

thank you I agree with what your saying

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 13

Clonalnumber2: 4 months ago

If she loves you as much as you do then I don't think she will. I had a girlfriend when I was in the Army and eventually we married.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)

Report as

warthog331: 4 months ago via Android

that makes me feel a little better whenever you go to websites about military families all you hear is she's gonna leavr you.

Report as

Clonalnumber2: 4 months ago

Weird my dad is an army brat and his parents (my grandparents) my Grandpops was in the army and my grandma had to stay in a military camp with him and then my dad was born. Before that my great grandpa and before that my great great grandpa I have a long military history on my family my dad included.

Report as

Add a comment...

Answer 14

Roadkill3610: 4 months ago via Android | Last edited at 8:07AM on 1/14/2013

if she does she does believe me you will be glad she did once your in the military because you will be
free to tale advantage! or all the hot women that will be throwing
them selves at you

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)

Report as

Add a comment...